Approximately 160,000 students are absent from school each day nationwide due to fears of being bullied. The impact can be devastating on a child’s self esteem, academic performance and overall health.

The statistics surrounding the number of children who are bullied, are heartbreaking. If you’re facing this already this school year… Try some of these tips.

1. Be your Child’s Go-To Person. Make sure your child always feels safe telling you about incidents at school, at play in the neighborhood, at church/Sunday school, or even at home from the other parent or a sibling. I know a family that goes around the dinner table and everyone (parents and children alike) share the best thing that happened during the day and the worst thing that happened during the day. This helps everyone learn to appreciate and really notice when someone is kind and opens a door for them, or plays with them on the playground. To illustrate that no one is exempt from rudeness or bullying, other family members should share with their child/children bad situations at work or when they were young. Exploring how to handle the “bad” situations can be a teaching/learning moment for all members of the family.

2. Parents, don’t be an inadvertent bully. If the parent is constantly saying things that make a child feel bad about themselves, this is form of bullying. You may hear yourself saying, “I know you can get better grades.” But the child may be hearing only, “I’m stupid and won’t ever be able to please anyone.” Listen to what you say often to your child and make sure you aren’t behaving in a manner that would not be acceptable behavior from others.

3. Discuss what actions can be considered bullying. Help your child see that bullying can be words, actions, ignoring someone, giggling and pointing. Discuss ways to positively respond to each instance.

4. Welcome your child’s friends into your home. Perhaps even invite their whole family to a cookout or other event so that you can get to know the parents. If any of the friends seem to have an unusual amount of power over your child, you may need to help your child see that this person is not a true friend if everything always has to be their way.

5.  Stop sibling bullying. Sometimes the bullying is being done by a sibling. If one child seems to have dominance over another child, sit down immediately and let them know that this behavior will NOT be tolerated. Make sure to follow through and discipline the bully when you see this happening either in the way she/he treats their sibling. Also make sure the child being bullied feels safe in coming to you.

6. Discipline your children appropriately if you see them doing or saying (or texting) something that you don’t consider kind. That way others–teachers, other parents or day care workers, etc.–don’t have to become the disciplinarian.

When your child gets a little older, you also have to keep in mind these next tips.

8. Understand cyber-bullying. One of the newest arenas where a child can feel helpless against what is being said or shown in pictures about them is online. Make sure to carefully monitor screen time in a way that feels protective to your child and not intrusive. The more conversations you have with your kids about what occurs online, the more likely they will be able to talk to you about what’s going on. Take every opportunity to teach them how to manage themselves in confusing situations.

9. Learn the latest lingo. This includes verbal, texting and online slang. Do you know that CD9 means parents are around and that 99 means parents have left? Your child may be hiding something that can lead to poor self-esteem, depression, even suicide.

10. Remember the Golden Rule. “Do onto others as you would have them do onto you” is still great advice. A friend’s child was having trouble on the school bus with one particular boy. The mother suggested that this child might not know the right way to be a friend. So the child being bullied went out of his way to be extra nice to the bully. Once the bully realized there was a different way to act, the two children became real friends.

While nothing will totally stop bullying, at least by putting into practice some of these tips, I hope you can make the consequences for your child less damaging.

Thank you to Thomas Weck for these tips.

Thomas Weck is a creative and captivating national award-winning author of children’s books, including the popular Lima Bear Stories Series: The Megasaurus, How Back-Back Got His Name, The Cave Monster, The Labyrinth and Bully Bean. Learn more at LimaBearPress.com.

By: Justin Scarsella

Every summer our Leadership Team has a unique opportunity to work with a local summer camp that serves boys and girls who have or have had cancer. As I was watching our students interacting with this group, I took a moment to reflect on how far these students have come – not just in their Tae Kwon Do training, but as they are growing into strong young ladies and gentlemen. I see Kate, who seemingly not that long ago, started her first day of Tae Kwon Do. Not much taller than the front desk, she shyly looked at the floor when she received her first crisp, white uniform. Now, years later, here she is, a contributing member of our Leadership Team – yelling loudly as she breaks her boards in front of her impressed audience. Not only is she showing confidence in herself, but she is also encouraging a little boy who has never tried kicking a target before. She is building him up the same way she was encouraged to do her best – step-by-step, with lots of praise and a friendly smile!

It is truly a long-term process for a child to grow up confident and strong. With my 20 plus years of experience of working with thousands of students, I have a few techniques to give your child a boost in their self-esteem.

Praise your child’s efforts along with their successes.
When a child wins a trophy or passes an exam, it’s a great place to show how proud we are of their success. Or if a child does not succeed in the activity they wanted to, parents know to step in and reassure them and help them get back on their feet. But many times we miss the opportunity to praise along the way. When you praise the time, effort and attitude that a child puts forth toward a goal, you are setting them up for future success. As adults we know even things we put a lot of time and effort into don’t always work out. So by letting our children know they are doing the right thing by putting their best into their activity, they will feel stronger about the outcome no matter if it is successful or not. It also starts to ingrain the hardworking mentality for their next activity.

Talk about your child to others – in front of them.
When you have the opportunity to praise your child’s successes and efforts to your peers, while your child is in earshot, this can be one of the impactful reinforcements you can give to your child. Next time you are talking with a friend on the phone or in person, use that opportunity to talk about your child’s effort and see the instant change that happens!

Get them involved in a long-term activity.
Seasonal sports and activities can teach a child some great character development skills like cooperation & teamwork. Many teams and seasonal activities get very focused on winning, so much so that it means late night practices 5 days a week for 7 year olds. While winning should be a goal of a team, it shouldn’t be everything. Getting your child involved in a year-long activity like Tae Kwon Do, gymnastics or scouts may focus more time on building physical skills along with mental and emotional development. A program that runs all year round has a unique effect on children because it is always part of their routine. With long-term consistency children see their progress and get comfortable enough in their surroundings to push themselves and step outside of their comfort zone. These outcomes will give a true long-term confidence boost to help them feel comfortable in their own skin. When picking a year-long activity, make sure you find a good program where the instructors look at students for their own potential instead of comparing them to other students. There should be no one that “sits on the bench” or is forced to progress faster than they should. A flexible year-long program also allows for children to still incorporate a seasonal activity when it’s that time of the year.

About the author – Justin Scarsella is the owner and operator of World Class Tae Kwon Do on Valleydale Road. He has worked with thousands of children in the Birmingham community over the years. Master Scarsella’s World Class Tae Kwon Do focuses on empowering their students will valuable skills for daily life and contributing to a safe and peaceful community.

Master Scarsella’s is located at: 268 Inverness Center Drive (on Valleydale Road just off of Highway 280), Birmingham, AL 35242
Phone: (205) 981-9636

School is in full swing for many kids and for many, school days mean sending those tiny humans off to the bus stop. So how do we keep our little ones safe when they board that bus? Here are a few tips to keep in mind and to remind your kids:

1. Try to arrive to the stop at least 5 minutes early. Stand 3 GIANT steps back from the curb and stay there until the bus comes to a complete stop.
2. Remind your child to always use the handrails when getting on and off the bus to help avoid accidental injuries from tripping or falling.
3. If you’re child must walk in front of the bus, tell them to take 5 GIANT steps from the bus before walking across, ensuring as much visibility as possible. Remind them to never walk behind the bus.
4. Tell your child to make the driver aware if he or she drops something near the bus. The driver may not notice if she they bend down to pick it up.

Tips provided by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration