By: Justin Scarsella
Every summer our Leadership Team has a unique opportunity to work with a local summer camp that serves boys and girls who have or have had cancer. As I was watching our students interacting with this group, I took a moment to reflect on how far these students have come – not just in their Tae Kwon Do training, but as they are growing into strong young ladies and gentlemen. I see Kate, who seemingly not that long ago, started her first day of Tae Kwon Do. Not much taller than the front desk, she shyly looked at the floor when she received her first crisp, white uniform. Now, years later, here she is, a contributing member of our Leadership Team – yelling loudly as she breaks her boards in front of her impressed audience. Not only is she showing confidence in herself, but she is also encouraging a little boy who has never tried kicking a target before. She is building him up the same way she was encouraged to do her best – step-by-step, with lots of praise and a friendly smile!
It is truly a long-term process for a child to grow up confident and strong. With my 20 plus years of experience of working with thousands of students, I have a few techniques to give your child a boost in their self-esteem.
Praise your child’s efforts along with their successes.
When a child wins a trophy or passes an exam, it’s a great place to show how proud we are of their success. Or if a child does not succeed in the activity they wanted to, parents know to step in and reassure them and help them get back on their feet. But many times we miss the opportunity to praise along the way. When you praise the time, effort and attitude that a child puts forth toward a goal, you are setting them up for future success. As adults we know even things we put a lot of time and effort into don’t always work out. So by letting our children know they are doing the right thing by putting their best into their activity, they will feel stronger about the outcome no matter if it is successful or not. It also starts to ingrain the hardworking mentality for their next activity.
Talk about your child to others – in front of them.
When you have the opportunity to praise your child’s successes and efforts to your peers, while your child is in earshot, this can be one of the impactful reinforcements you can give to your child. Next time you are talking with a friend on the phone or in person, use that opportunity to talk about your child’s effort and see the instant change that happens!
Get them involved in a long-term activity.
Seasonal sports and activities can teach a child some great character development skills like cooperation & teamwork. Many teams and seasonal activities get very focused on winning, so much so that it means late night practices 5 days a week for 7 year olds. While winning should be a goal of a team, it shouldn’t be everything. Getting your child involved in a year-long activity like Tae Kwon Do, gymnastics or scouts may focus more time on building physical skills along with mental and emotional development. A program that runs all year round has a unique effect on children because it is always part of their routine. With long-term consistency children see their progress and get comfortable enough in their surroundings to push themselves and step outside of their comfort zone. These outcomes will give a true long-term confidence boost to help them feel comfortable in their own skin. When picking a year-long activity, make sure you find a good program where the instructors look at students for their own potential instead of comparing them to other students. There should be no one that “sits on the bench” or is forced to progress faster than they should. A flexible year-long program also allows for children to still incorporate a seasonal activity when it’s that time of the year.
About the author – Justin Scarsella is the owner and operator of World Class Tae Kwon Do on Valleydale Road. He has worked with thousands of children in the Birmingham community over the years. Master Scarsella’s World Class Tae Kwon Do focuses on empowering their students will valuable skills for daily life and contributing to a safe and peaceful community.
Master Scarsella’s is located at: 268 Inverness Center Drive (on Valleydale Road just off of Highway 280), Birmingham, AL 35242
Phone: (205) 981-9636
