By Harmony Hobbs:
I have a confession to make.
Sometimes, I think that my life would drastically improve if my legs didn’t rub together so much when I walk. Or if I had a housekeeper. And a perpetual tan.
So if I happen to interact with someone who doesn’t have to clean her own home, and is
also fortunate enough to have tanned thighs that don’t touch, it takes a lot of effort for me not to hate her … just a little bit. I also confess that I’ve had days when I envied the receptionist at our office. All she does is (it seems) is answer the phone and hit “transfer.” So easy.
Don’t judge. We all have our stuff. After all, women are, by nature, envious creatures. Now, I’m sure there are plenty of you out there who are very nice women — much nicer than I am. And you might be thinking to yourself “I’m not an envious person!” as you read this.
Good for you. You enjoy your denial.
The fact of the matter is most women are envious of someone, somewhere. I acknowledge that it is not rational. In fact, it’s possible that the person you envy the most is also envious of YOU. Often – sometimes without even realizing it – we compare our children, our homes, our careers, our choices, our pregnancies, and our bodies. Just writing that sentence wore me out. What is our DEAL?
No matter how much another woman seems to have it together, chances are she feels that someone else has it better. Some working moms envy stay-at-home moms, and some women who stay at home wish they could put on heels and leave their house every morning. Does it always seem like someone on the other side has it just a little better than you? If so, I diagnose you with Greener Grass Syndrome.
Usually this disorder manifests itself in dissatisfaction with your own life and making snide comments about the person or people that you envy. This is supposed to make you feel better about yourself and/or your situation. Unfortunately, it doesn’t really work.
The funny thing about us women is that no matter how many purses we own, no matter how beautiful and smart our children are, how much we are loved, or how much disposable income we have, we always seem to find something that is lacking in our life. We always find someone out there who seems to have that thing that we are lacking, and hate on them. It’s part of our womanly charm.
We all know this in the rational part of our minds, but I still feel the need to say it: the key to being a happy mom is being thankful for your pasture. It might need some sprucing up, but it’s YOURS. Own it, water it, and love it. Make it your life’s work to tend to it, and you’ll be too busy to notice the one next door.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get back to wishing I could trade places with our receptionist.
About Harmony:
Harmony blew into Birmingham after Hurricane Katrina and is a self-proclaimed “never home maker” striving for a balance between her career and family life. Visit her blog Working Mommy Madness to read more!
I have to say that I’m terribly disappointed that this article was published here. It’s one thing for Harmony to categorize herself as someone who is often envious of other women. That’s a confessional article that I could understand a mother sharing in a space like this. But to blame that insecurity on nothing more than her gender is offensive.
To claim that being petty and jealous is just “part of our womanly charm” makes me question if I found this on a website for mothers or the He Man Womanhaters Site. Harmony writes, “Don’t judge. We all have our stuff. After all, women are, by nature, envious creatures.” Wow, just wow.
I sincerely hope I am not the only woman reading this that was offended by this misogynistic diatribe.
Hi Jennifer, Thank you so much for taking a moment to visit our site and to let us know your feelings about this article.
Harmony is a fantastic writer who we asked to share with us a little piece of her life as a Working Mom. We wanted the uncut, uncensored version of her feelings, opinions, struggles and triumphs as she experiences them. She continues to strike a chord with our readers month after month because so many people can relate to her on a personal level. She continues to be one of our most popular series because she comes across as real.
We understand that not everyone reading our site will agree with everything we put on there, but from the inception of our site our goal has been to be real, and honest about life as a Mom and the struggles that come along with that role, as well as any insecurities or self doubt we sometimes feel.
Thank you again for taking the time to comment, we appreciate you reading!
Dear Jennifer,
I am sorry that you were offended by my article. It was certainly not my intent to come across like a “womanhater” — after all, I AM a woman and I take great pride in that role. I enjoy celebrating, and laughing at, our quirks.
This article was simply a lighthearted look at how silly and trivial we can be and how important it is to be grateful for what we have. I hope others didn’t view it as a misogynistic diatribe! If they did … then I think I’m in trouble.
Thank you for reading!
I have a housekeeper, almost my entire body is tanned, and I have no grass, only sand on the other side. I love you girl, you are so funny and wise and real!!