by Amanda from HushAmanda.com
I’m not exactly a professional, but I’m no freshman either. I’ve clocked nearly 5 years of experience in this “I am mom” gig, so I feel capable enough to start tossing out classifications for all of us. Bring on the labels, right? The following is an attempt to throw us all under a bus, group us together and strip us down.
The Type A Mom:
Oh goodness. Her. The one with an art degree, a schedule and an attitude. She’s well-dressed and all of her clothes are ironed. Her children’s clothes are ironed too, and it’s May Day at school. On rainy days, the kids have matching goulashes, rain coats and hats. They are, of course, monogrammed.
She’s the mom who makes the schedule for all the parties, and the one that organizes the snack rotation. She calls, and emails, and assigns us all our “role” for the upcoming party, and we don’t deviate because frankly – it works. She might not be the friendliest person, but the parties go off without a hitch, so we don’t complain.
I can never be friends with this one.
The Homemade Cookies:
She’s sweet, well-kept, but never overdone. Her children are “normal”, yet flawed like the rest of them and rather nice to your children (thank goodness). She’s never late, but never early and the tone of her voice could put even the fussiest of us to sleep.
Always accept her birthday party invites – but be careful to forget your husband. Wouldn’t want him to know it’s possible to keep house like that all the while baking amazing pies.
I suggest you ask her for her best recipe. It’ll never fail you.
The High Strung And Annoying One:
She’s the one with 11,000 off-the-wall questions at the “meet the teacher” event just before the school year begins. The mom that just has to ask “well… what about peanuts?” when their child doesn’t even have a peanut allergy (and no one else in the class does either), but finds a way to start a 30-minute soliloquy on the subject.
“But my mother-in-law does have a peanut allergy and she’ll be picking up <Child’s Name> every other Wednesday and…” which inevitably leads to an outright ban on peanut butter crackers, trail mix and anything that’s been “processed in a plant that also processes nuts”. Fabulous.
Then, one afternoon in the pick-up line, you catch her child with a yellow M&M bag. That bitch.
The Not-So-Great-But-Trying:
I may or may not be this person.
She’s late to a few parties, and the last one to remember the tuition check, but she’s never forgotten the snack bucket and takes directions from the Room Mom quite well. The homework may be ugly, but it’s done. It’s likely she’s bogged down with work, or her other young child(ren). Or maybe she was just never good at this whole “multi-task” thing in the first place.
The Super Mom:
Oh, the holy grail. She’s super sweet, and a great listener (actually, that’s the post that inspired my current blog name, just so you know). Her children are well-behaved and outgoing. Her house has the perfect yard for end-of-the-year parties and she has a wonderfully supportive husband and mother to lend a hand as well.
She seems to have the best recommendations for dentists, summer reading programs, and soccer camps. She has 3 kids, all boys, and you have no idea how she looks showered.
The Old Hand:
She’s doesn’t stress – it’s all no big deal. With several older children in “big school”, she diligently follows the manual because she knows it by heart. If you ever have a question, but can’t find the teacher, she can answer (probably even better than the teacher). You’ve won the lottery if this one IS your teacher.
She’s a wonderful source of wisdom for the rest of us – school related, child related, and otherwise.
Other Notables:
The Certifiably Crazy One
The Dorky Mom
The Power Suit
The Granola
About Amanda:
My name is Amanda and my last name is hardly pronounceable. I’m currently 25 and the mother of 2 half-breed monkey/gorilla hybrids wonderfully rowdy boys (under 5), blogging LIVE! from a city somewhere in Alabama… I have the personality of a 6′6″ man trapped in a 4′10.5″ body. I’m loud, sometimes bitchy, occasionally moody, disorganized yet incredibly passionate and a total goofball. My friends just think I’m odd and that’s fine by me.
You can read more from Amanda over at hush, amanda and you can follow her on twitter @hushamanda
