Gimme 5: Motherhood is…these 5 moments

~Kristine Gresh

There are a few moments when it hits you like a ton of bricks – you’re a mom! These moments are different for each mom, depending on circumstances, type of personality (of you and your child) and your general attitude about parenting and motherhood. So, rather than supply you with 5 clever ‘mommy-ing’ tips this month, I am going to share my moments. Or at least 5 of them. Feel free to add on and share one or two of yours…and Happy Mother’s Day!

1. There was a time when I thought the cliché, “I would do anything for my child” was just that.  But now, for me, at 6am every weekday morning I realize it’s a stone cold reality. Sure, I always knew I’d do the big things for my kid – switch places with him when he’s sick, jump into shark infested waters to save him… Done and done. But it’s the little things that surprised me. So, I love to sleep in, always have. If I had to be somewhere early, I would get up 10 minutes previous to that. I don’t mind rushing out the door for a few extra seconds of sleep.  My son… not that way. He likes to get up and take his time in the morning. He’ll watch a show or two, sloooowly eat breakfast, then fool around in the mirror while brushing his teeth…you get the picture. For a non-morning person, this is torture. Yet, each night I set my alarm clock for an hour before I know I have to, so that the kid can have these relaxed mornings and not feel rushed. Yes, I have been known to hit “snooze” on particularly tough mornings, and I single-handedly keep Folgers in business thanks to this decision, but my son gets to start his day in a happy, relaxed, comfortable frame of mind. And I’m actually getting used to it, even fooling around with the toothpaste right next to him sometimes.
2. So, this one time, a few years ago, I saw crumbs under the table and I didn’t pick them up until the next day. And you know what? It was a great mom moment. And I often think back to it, when I’m questioning my priorities. I was sitting on the floor, drawing, in the next room with my son (which has always been one of his favorite things to do) when I spotted them. They were from dinner and I knew I should go pick them up. But I didn’t. I kept coloring and then got caught up with the night routine and reading a Bob the Builder book (this was way back when, before Handy Manny was the cool repair guy). The next morning, when I saw the crumbs, I realized I had chosen to put the “perfect house” concept on the shelf for a few years and I couldn’t have been happier.  Sometimes now, I go to other women’s perfect homes and think “how beautiful,” but I’m secretly happy about what I have – tons of mother-son drawings, and probably a few crumbs under the table…
3. Obviously, I knew I’d feel bad when my kid was unhappy. But no one told me I’d be in physical pain and want to throw up when he truly suffered. Long story short, a few months back, my son was really suffering, and I felt like someone punched me in the throat. Hard. And it didn’t go away until he was no longer suffering. It was scary how tied I was to what he was going through and how helpless I felt when I didn’t have the power to make it better. So now, when I say I truly don’t care where my son winds up or what he winds up doing in life, I just want him to be happy…it’s a selfish notion too. I will not be okay if he’s not okay.
4. This one hits me every time I fly. You know when you get on a plane and the flight attendant explains the safety precautions…that’s another moment I know I’m a momma. Because as opposed to “pre-kid” times, the phrase, “…and be sure to put on your own mask before assisting children or others,” simply makes me think “yeah, ok!” Every time. I can just imagine the sudden loss of air pressure somewhere over the Atlantic, and I’m carefully adjusting the straps on my mask while my offspring next to me is watching, waiting. So, let get it straight. “Dear airlines: he’s first in my world. His breathing in and out is paramount. Thank you.”
5. And the last and most rewarding/scary/emotional/anxious moment for me on this awesome field trip called “Motherhood?” The moment every night when I go in to check on Jake. I know he’s asleep (I’ve actually already checked on him), but I need one last look before I can go to sleep. Is he still breathing? Did he have a good day? Will he have a good one tomorrow? He’s so precious. Look at him. Am I a good mom? Did I have to tell him he couldn’t have that extra ice-pop? Can he fathom how much I love him and want to protect him from any harm? Did I set the alarm for 6…?