Do you and your kids have Summer Break-itis? It’s a common problem around this time of year: the sun is shining, flowers are blooming, pollen is coating your car and lungs. Here in Alabama, spring very quickly gives way to summer and temps will be in the triple digits before we know it! You’ve got the kids’ summer camp schedule all lined up (oh, no? Go here for all the info you’ll need!) – all you have to do now is get through the next eight weeks and it’s SUMMER TIME! But, wait – EIGHT weeks?! As in EIGHT
weeks of 20 minutes nightly reading, EIGHT weeks of packing lunch every morning, EIGHT weeks of math worksheets, EIGHT weeks of carpool line, EIGHT weeks of “I’m not wearing that and you can’t make me!” Here are some tips for keeping you and your kids focused and sane for the remainder of the school year:
- Stay consistent. After Spring Break, it’s tough to return to regular bedtimes, mealtimes, and homework times but very important to get everyone back on track. Make it clear that Spring Break was a vacation but the day after Spring Break is “real life” again. Tighten up the schedule so your kids are getting enough sleep, exercise, and downtime, but still have time for homework. Limit screen time. Consider posting a weekday schedule somewhere your kids will see it regularly to remind them of your expectations. Keep checking those homework folders and communications from the teachers so you and your kids stay on top of what is needed.
- Shake up the systems. This may sound counter to #1 but consider if what you’ve been doing all year to maintain order needs a few minor modifications. Kids often pay more attention to a system when it’s new so if they’re having trouble re-adjusting to the regular schedule, consider what might be switched around. Now that we have daylight for longer, consider a family walk after school versus getting right to homework. Ask your child if he would rather start showering at night so he can sleep a little later in the morning. For families who use the computer or iPad for a reward once homework is done, consider downloading some new apps or games to make that time more coveted. Try poetry instead of prose for reading time or move your homework spot from the kitchen table to a cozy chair in the living room. Keep the general requirements consistent but get your child’s attention with some fresh ideas!
- Build in some rewards (for you, too!). Sometimes the end of the school year will feel like a drag, no matter how great a schedule you have in place. Consider whether some kind of rewards for getting through the school day, homework time, and/or the school week might help. Set one or two very basic and fairly easily obtained goals like getting started on homework with only one reminder at least three out of five days. Pick eight fun places (e.g., the ice cream place down the street, a trampoline arena, etc.) and assign each one to a week. Draw or print a picture that represents the fun place and post it on the fridge. If everyone meets their goal for the week, the family gets to go on Saturday. This idea is more about keeping eyes on the prize vs. dealing with serious academic or behavioral issues. If you’re having more than occasional griping with homework, consider some ideas here, talk with your child’s teacher, or ask your pediatrician for a child psychologist.
- Focus on the positives. Have regular check-ins (e.g., in the car, during dinner) to keep attitudes upbeat. Ask for the best thing that happened at school/work on a given day. Discuss the negatives, too, but don’t dwell on those. Also, try not to spend too much time talking with your kids about exciting summer plans as those could make daily life look less desirable in comparison. Avoid making statements like, “We just need to get through the next X number of days…” (yes, I remember that I did that in the first paragraph) and help your child focus, instead, on the cool things he/she is getting to do in the here and now.
About this column: Send your parenting- and kid-related questions my way via email at: parentingwithaphd@gmail.com and I’ll tell you what I can: Please be aware that email is not a secure method of transmitting personal information so it’s best to keep your questions general. If your question is featured, your name and email will not be published. Submitting a question does not constitute a professional relationship in any way and this column is not meant to substitute for face-to-face therapy. If you feel you’re doing the best you can and still need help, it may be time to bring in a professional. Start by talking with your child’s pediatrician to get a referral.
Kristen S. Berthiaume, Ph.D.
Licensed Psychologist
Kristen Berthiaume, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist with Grayson and Associates. She obtained her doctorate in clinical psychology from the University of Kentucky. She completed a predoctoral internship in clinical psychology at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and a post- doctoral fellowship in the Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorders (ADHD) Program at Duke University Medical Center. She specializes in providing assessment and treatment of children, adolescents, and families dealing with the following issues: ADHD, learning disorders, social skill deficits, organizational problems, behavioral difficulties, anxiety, and depression. She generally focuses on behavioral and cognitive- behavioral techniques, but maintains a flexible approach to therapy. Her other day job is as mom to her daughters, ages seven and one, and four-year-old son.