By: Nanci Scarpulla
The lights are twinkling. The air is filled with different aromas of cinnamon, cider, or pine. The music is playing the cheeriest of Christmas tunes, and the visitors are expected over the next week. Perhaps you are growing excited about going to visit family and friends you have not seen in a while.
This sounds like a typical week of Christmas, and for many, it can be exciting, filled with expectations of Norman Rockwell paintings, or stressful, filled with anxiety attacks and high energy.
For a child (or adult) with autism, these different scenarios can bring behaviors that could land them on the naughty list.
If you have a child with autism then you know exactly what I am writing about, right? If you have a family member or friend with a child with autism, then you may not be able to fully understand.
For a child (or adult) with autism, or similar diagnosis or circumstances, Christmas can be challenging but a few extra suggestions could turn your Christmas into a special event you and your family can enjoy.
Try not to change the schedule too much.
This might be difficult, but if you can, try to schedule and arrange events in relation to your child’s established schedule. If you eat at a certain time but dinner or lunch is scheduled later, allow your child to eat at his established time, perhaps in another room. If your child has down time in the typical day, allow this time, even if you are surrounded by visitors. You may need to excuse them and explain that they need a non-punishing time out.
Not so much attention, please.
As a mom, I understand the joy it is to watch your child (or any child) open up gifts. However, all of that attention may be too much. If you notice the gift opener is hesitant or struggling with opening the gift, don’t pressure them. Allow them to open it when they are ready or allow time in between gifts.
Tone it down, if you must.
If you have a room filled with people, lights, smells, and music, all of this blends together for a child with autism, and becomes an overwhelming haze. If you notice your child struggling with all the different senses, take a moment to take a walk or take a break from it. Don’t force the issue of staying there for the appearance.
Practice empathy, not sympathy.
If you are hosting a child with autism, offer understanding and empathy, but please no sympathy. Autism is neither defining or limiting to that childs potential or for a family that lives daily on the autism spectrum. While you may want everything to run as smoothly for everyone as you have planned, respect that the family or the child may not be able to attend the function the entire time or may have difficulty participating fully in overly sensing situations. But don’t feel “sorry” for them, for even in the modifications of daily living, including celebrating holidays, they are creating memories and life moments just as anyone else.
Remember, the holidays are a chance to share love, kindness, and to celebrate each other. Taking time to understand and allowing adjustments for a child with autism will make your holidays merrier and bright.
Nanci Scarpulla, M.Ed.
Potential Birmingham
Nanci Scarpulla, M.Ed. holds a Masters in Counseling in Marriage and Family Systems. She is an advocate for families with children of special needs and adults with different abilities. She can be found on Facebook at Potential Birmingham, a community page that provides information on events and programs on area agencies and organizations that cater to promoting potential in all people.
