To spank or not to spank?

Posted on Monday, November 1, 2010 by Angie

Discipline. It seems to be the one area of parenthood that parents struggle with the most. We worry about inflicting internal damage, ruining self-esteem, raising wild kids… in short, we worry about causing damage in any way possible. Nothing challenges a parent like having a 3 year old call your bluff, then laugh in your face when threatened with a consequence.

Spanking seems to be one of those taboo topics that we avoid. What do other moms do when it comes to spanking? What makes them handle it that way? Is that something I’ve never thought about? Talking about it (without fighting) is the number one way to help reflect and understand.

So let’s discuss. Here’s what real moms here in Birmingham think.

Mommy K says, “We spank, but not for every offense. Spanking is effective and acceptable if handled correctly. We only spank for outright defiance or when repeated time-outs don’t work. The most important thing is to make sure you verbally reinforce why you spanked them and why the behavior is unacceptable, and reassure them you love them. Any time I have to spank one of my girls, I have them sit on my lap and we talk about what happened, I cuddle with them for a minute, and then off they go.”

Mommy LD says, “I grew up being spanked. My husband did not. We decided that we would not spank our children. It’s been really hard for me at times to not resort to spanking. It is so much a part of who I was, that it was hard to not resort to that just on instinct.

For us, Time Outs have worked. They’re not easy, though. I think a lot of people think that they’re wishy-washy discipline. But for us, discipline isn’t punishment. Discipline is about our children understanding what is expected of them and what the consequences will be if they fail to live up to our expectations. Discipline is about consistency. We can put our children into Time Out every single time they don’t heed a warning–even for smaller things. As a parent, I’m not willing to smack my child every time they do something wrong. But how can a child know what to expect or learn if they don’t know when the smack is coming?”

Mommy D says, “I don’t spank simply because I feel hypocritical telling my child not to hit but yet she can be spanked??? Discipline is very confusing to children…it’s very confusing to adults a lot of the time. Anger is one of the lowest in the hierarchy of emotions that people feel and express, acting on anger is surely the lowest form of expression and quite often with children and adults hitting can be one of the quickest reactions to anger…I personally don’t want to generate any association between the two to a child.”

Mommy DD says, “My dad hit us a lot and all it did was make me fear him and distrust him. I don’t want that kind of relationship with my son. I think hitting is a primitive response, an instinct that is very ingrained in us, and hard to resist. I have wanted to hit him, especially when I’m tired. I have had to put him in his crib and walk away, give myself a “time out”. I’m a single parent so there’s no one to hand him off to when I start to reach the limit of my patience.”

Momma K says, “I spank very rarely. Mostly in situations when what my child is doing is dangerous, i.e. trying to pull the light socket covers off with a gleam in her eye and my keys in her hand, or trying to open the oven door. (She’s never actually achieved either of these goals due to baby-proofing) And technically, I don’t spank, I usually thump the back of her hand.

My husband’s family are very strict spankers, and I think they go overboard. One sister-in-law starts thumping baby hands at 3 or 4 months old. I am not a fan of this. Their children are EXTREMELY well behaved, but it makes me wonder how much of it is fear? They all ascribe to the Amish To train up a child book. I read it and I do not agree with most of their teachings, but it gives some good insight about being consistent, and reacting immediately to a negative behavior. In my opinion, spanking can be a very strong parenting tool when you have the need to communicate something strongly and effectively, therefore it should really be a last resort. I try to keep the girls engaged and busy, as to avoid situations where discipline is needed, but that is not always the case (obviously!) For the biggest part of our parenting, we use sitting out, and loss of privileges. I’m a new mom, and I don’t know for sure where I will land on all this stuff, but that’s where we are right now.”

Mommy Dani says, “[My husband] and I use spanking very rarely and as a last resort, but if the situation is dangerous enough or all else has failed, we spank. I believe that all kids respond differently to different types of discipline. Spanking was the only discipline I received growing up, and I never wanted to limit our household to only spanking because I think there are other effective ways to change behavior. We try time out and limiting first, then a final warning and reasoning as to why he is about to be spanked if he doesn’t stop. Discipline should really be based on the kid’s personality and age in my opinion. My child is pretty receptive to reasoning, so we don’t have to use our last resort very often. If we ever do have to use it, afterward, we have a discussion about what he did and should do next time, we snuggle and then it’s over. I make sure he always knows that I didn’t spank him because I was mad at him and I want him to learn to follow instructions so he stays safe.”

Birmingham Events Calendar October 31st – November 7th

Posted on Sunday, October 31, 2010 by Angie

What a busy week and weekend we’ve all had! Hope you had a wonderful and safe Halloween! If you can manage to pull yourself and the little ones away from the candy long enough to get out of the house this week, check out some of these fun activities happening around the city!

Be sure to check this page often throughout the week as it’s constantly updated! We hope you have a fantastic week

It’s Not Our Fault if Your Kids are Bored!

Sunday October 31st

Trick or Treat – Emmet O’Neal
Wear your costume and visit all the departments of the library.

Pumpkin Patch Express – Heart of Dixie Railroad Museum
The entire family will enjoy an autumn train ride aboard the Pumpkin Patch Express! The excursion lasts approximately 1 1/2 hours, including our time at the Pumpkin Patch. At the Pumpkin Patch, riders will de-board to enjoy a hayride, jumpstation, coloring, and temporary tattoos (all activities are included in the price of your ticket!) Bring your camera to take photos in front of the giant pumpkin! Snacks and soft drinks are available for purchase. Pick the perfect pumpkin from the patch for an additional fee.

Boo at the Zoo
Wear your favorite costume and make your way through safe candy villages and game zones. Ride the Jurassic Express, Creepy Crawly Carousel and the Hallowed Hay Ride. Enjoy live entertainment each night and see an animal up close. Don’t forget to walk through the Alien Reptile Experience. Ghoul Skool is a time honored tradition at Boo At the Zoo. The classes are about ten minutes long and little goblins are taught how to howl like a wolf, rattle chains like a ghost, walk like a monster, cackle like a witch, and much more to graduate! Classes are taught by our Ghoul Skool Mistress!
Tickets $8

*Animal exhibits will be closed for Boo at the Zoo. The Zoo will close at 4 p.m. on each day of Boo at the Zoo.

Scholastic Chess Club at Books-A-Million Brookwood Village
In our upstairs Kids Nook. Beginners are welcome, lessons
available, K-12, other mind sport activities are available such as
checkers and GO. Free to attend!
2PM – 5PM

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Monday November 1st

Children’s Storytime – Ruffner Mountain Nature Center
Is your child a budding naturalist? Bring them to Storytime to encourage their excitement about the outdoors. We will read a story with a nature theme. Following the story, there will be a short activity.

Suited for children 3 – 5. All children must be accompanied by an adult during the program.
10am

$3/ $2 (member)

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Tuesday November 2nd

10 Cent Cookie Tuesday – Whole Foods
While Supplies Last Barring any cookie monster attacks we’ll have our silver dollar-size chocolate chip cookies, baked fresh in the Bakery, for just 10 cents each. Buy a whole bushel and freeze them for later!

Lego Mini Build – Riverchase Galleria
LEGO Thanksgiving Turkey: begins at 5:00pm until supplies last

Storytime – Barnes and Noble Summit
11:ooam

Education Celebration – Barnes and Noble Summit
Join us for a fun-filled hour of hands-on learning featuring our brand-new Barnes & Noble @ School section with educational toys and games.
11:30am

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Wednesday November 3rd

Family Story Time with Mr Mac – North Shelby Library
Storyteller Extraordinaire – Come join Mr Mac and his musical storytime complete with puppets! All Ages, no registration required.
10:45am

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Thursday November 4th

Holy Inappropriateness – We couldn’t find any special events happening in the Ham’ today! Check out something going on daily on our list below

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Friday November 5th

Wild about Books Story Time – Birmingham Zoo
Come join us for story and craft time with Books-A-Million at the Birmingham Zoo! Every Friday through summer on Grandma’s Front Porch in the Children’s Zoo area
10:00am

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Saturday November 6th

Moss Rock Festival
A little bit of art and culture for the whole family!
For information on parking and events visit their site

Home Depot Kids Workshop
Spice Rack
9:00am and Noon

Barts Art Cart – Birmingham Museum of Art
A new, fun, and free drop-in art program for kids and families. Visit Bart’s Art Cart in the main lobby to explore great art and create some of your own with the help of our Teen Volunteers. Each month will highlight a different gallery and feature a new art activity. Learn how to look at art with your child. Stop by and make art with Bart!
11am – 1pm

Helena Market Days/Farmers Market – Helena Amphitheater
8:00am – 12:00pm

Harvest and Holiday Market at Pepper Place
Autumn in Alabama means fresh-grown apples, pumpkins and squash for your fall meals. November markets will also bring hand-made gifts just in time for the Holiday Season!
7:00am – Noon

Saturday Storytime at Barnes and Noble Summit
Please join us as we read Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst. Our special story features Alexander, who clearly is having a bad day. Will it get better, or will he have to move to Australia?
2:00pm

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Sunday November 7th

Moss Rock Festival
A little bit of art and culture for the whole family!
For information on parking and events visit their site

Barts Art Cart – Birmingham Museum of Art
The Museum is offering a new, fun, and free drop-in art program for kids and families. Visit Bart’s Art Cart in the main lobby to explore great art and create some of your own with the help of our Teen Volunteers. Each month will highlight a different gallery and feature a new art activity. Learn how to look at art with your child. Stop by and make art with Bart!

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Open Daily

McWane Science Center

Itty Bitty Magic City – NOTE: ITTY BITTY IS AN ITTY BIT SMALLER THIS SUMMER!
The Itty Bitty Magic City will be on display this summer in addition to The Adventures of Mr. Potato Head exhibit. The Itty Bitty City is a little bit smaller than usual, but favorite areas including the grocery store, Tot Spot area, crane, and factory are still in the city. The Itty Bitty Golf Course and a few other items were removed temporarily to make room for the new exhibit “The Adventures of Mr. Potato Head” that is also designed for an early childhood audience and they will return in the Fall.

NatureScope – Explore the great outdoors from inside the museum. McWane Science Center and the Birmingham Audubon Society are partnering to create a new exhibit called NatureScope. Explore the science of the birds and the bugs in this new area! Get up close and personal with some resident creepy crawlies! Learn what role insects play in our ecosystem with the decomposition chamber. Meet large bugs including emperor scorpions, a tarantula, and even a giant African millipede!

Animalopolis at the IMAX – ANIMALOPOLIS will take you on a voyage into the magical world of animals. A bit fanciful, a bit “Seussian” perhaps, a place of good natured humor, beauty and just plain fun for kids and their parents.

Birmingham Zoo

Lorikeet Aviary – Our Lorikeet Aviary has more birds than ever! Zoo guests can feed these exotic birds every day. You and your family will see these birds’ behavior as they eat nectar out of your hand.
Weekends 10:00 am – 4:00 pm

PELICAN FEEDING – A great way to see our pelicans in action is to witness them eating their favorite treats near the pelican boardwalk.

RHINO ENCOUNTER – Embark on an African adventure and experience one of the world’s most extraordinary animals, the Southern White Rhino. Watch from only feet away as our zookeepers engage in hands-on interaction with the animals inside their African-themed exhibit. Don’t miss this exciting encounter with one of the largest mammals on the planet!
Weekdays: 3pm – 3:30pm
Weekends: 11:30am – Noon & 3pm – 3:30 pm

GIRAFFE FEEDING – This up close and personal animal encounter is a memory you and your family will have for a lifetime.
Weekday: 11am – Noon
Weekends: 10am – 11am & 2pm – 3pm

Southern Museum of Flight

Earn Your Wings – Bring your little pilot and soar above the clouds in our little pilots room. Kids enjoy building aircrafts, flying kites, and more.
Museum Open Tuesday – Thursday
9:30am – 4:30pm

Do you have or know of an event you would like to have added to our weekly calendar? Please email us at contact@birminghammommy.com, subject line “Events Calendar” – We would love to hear from you!

M.D Speed Dating with Brookwood Medical Center

Posted on Thursday, October 28, 2010 by Angie

Brookwood Medical Center is giving you the chance to spend a little one on one time with their M.D’s. This round is for those of you looking for an OB/GYN – We all know what a painstaking process choosing a Dr can be. How great of an idea is this style of Meet and Greet?

Show up and get to meet 5 board certified Doctors. You will have about 5-7 minutes to spend with each of them and ask them your questions before moving on to your next “date.”

If you’re new to the city, or looking to make a change this is the perfect, no pressure way to help you get some information on some local Doctors and meet them in person.

If you plan to attend you will need to reserve a space by calling 205-877-8800. Lunch and a Brookwood Gift bag will be provided to guests. Here’s the skinny:

Tuesday November 2
Noon – 1:00pm
Gold’s Gym in Vestavia off of Hwy 31

Make the most of your interview by having your questions prepared in advance, print them out and take them with you. Here are a few sample questions you might like to add to your own list! Happy Dating!

What is your philosophy of pregnancy care, including labor and birth, and performing c‐section?
How many births have you attended?
If you’re in a group practice, how often will I see other practitioners? Will they handle my care as you would?
How long is the average wait in your office?
How do you handle routine phone calls if I have questions between visits?
How can I reach you in an emergency?
Which prenatal tests do you routinely recommend?
What kind of childbirth classes do you recommend?
If my pregnancy becomes high risk, what changes might I expect in my prenatal care?
Will you meet me at the hospital when I check in, or when I’m admitted, or sometime later?
Who will be in charge of my care if you’re not there?
Will you stay with me throughout labor?
What drug‐free measures do you suggest to help me deal with labor pain?
How many of your patients forgo chemical pain relief? How many choose an epidural?
What do you think about routine continuous fetal monitoring, IVs, and other interventions?
Does hospital policy limit who’s in the room with me for labor and birth?
Are you comfortable working with doulas if I decide to hire one?
Under what circumstances would you perform an episiotomy?
What percentage of your patients have c‐sections?
Will I be separated from my baby after the birth? If so, when, why, and for how long?
Will you, or someone on the staff, provide breastfeeding support?

BigBham Deal – The Good Life

Posted on Wednesday, October 27, 2010 by Angie

Pay $25 for $50 in Gifts, Home Decor, and Children’s Clothing from the Good Life in Vestavia

Click Here to Purchase

Owned and operated by Mother/Daughter team, Pandy and Sunni, The Good Life in Vestavia has chic decor for your home- we love the burlap pillows. They also have a wide selection of perfect gift items for babies, moms, kids, you name it. This gift certificate would be a great gift for a teacher, friend, mom, mom-to-be, or yourself! Or come in and shop for that perfect, unique gift. Whether you’re searching for home decor and accessories, candles, furniture, bedding, or children’s clothing, they’ve got you covered…they even have comp gift wrapping! To see some of their incredibly adorable items check out their website!

The Fine Print

Expires one year from purchase
May purchase 2, or more as gifts
May use voucher on all merchandise in store
Not valid for special order items
Cannot use voucher at Christmas Village

Halloween Safety Tips…

Posted on Tuesday, October 26, 2010 by Angie

A few things for you to keep in mind when taking your little Goblins out for Trick or Treating… This is the scariest spookiest holiday of the year and it never hurts to have a little refresher on the precautions of keeping your little ones safe.

1. Light Up.. Make sure those kiddos (and you) are easily seen while out walking the streets. Have plenty of flashlights and glow sticks to hand out before heading out. If you’re doing goody bags for a party consider including those. Dimly lit streets, children in costumes they can’t see out of, and cars can make a terrible combination. Another really bad combination is a lit jack o lantern and a costume that isn’t flame retardant! Check those labels. Only flame retardant materials should be used on costumes.

2. Make sure those costumes fit properly. They should not be so long that they are a tripping hazard. According the the National Safety Council, falls are the leading cause of unintentional injuries on Halloween. Who knew?

3. It should go without saying but when it comes to accessories, it’s not ok to give little junior an actual samurai sword to complete his look. Make sure that all swords, knives, daggars and sharp objects are made from cardboard or flexible materials.. If you’re tripping over your too long costume the last thing you need is a sharp blade to fall on.

4. Check that candy. In case you haven’t been watching Law and Order, it’s a crazy world we live in and people do very strange things. If you happen to get fruit (how dare they) make sure it’s washed thoroughly and cut into small pieces.. Remember the razor blade stories we all grew up with? Any unwrapped candy should be tossed without question. (and those gross little peanut butter candies that are wrapped in black or orange paper, throw those out on sheer principle.) Just remember, when in doubt, throw it out.

Have a Spooky, but Safe Halloween!

Giveaway: Snow White at the Alabama Theater

Posted on Monday, October 25, 2010 by Angie

* Giveaway Now Closed

Enjoy a special hour-long matinee created just for children and their families! This ballet tells the story of Snow White and the seven dwarfs in a format that’s perfect for young audiences. During the October performance, children are encouraged to come in their favorite Halloween costume and enter our costume contest. There will be Halloween treats and Snow White will be in the lobby after the show for a special meet-and-greet time along with a photographer to capture those sweet faces.

A percentage of all Snow White ticket sales will benefit Children’s Harbor.

We are so happy to have 5 pairs of tickets to giveaway to this Sunday Matinee at the beautiful Alabama Theater! Saturday October 30th, 2:30pm

Here’s how to enter:

1. Leave a comment on this post (1 per day)

2. Follow @ALTheater on twitter – Come back and leave a comment here letting us know you followed (1 per person)

3. Tweet “@BirminghamMommy has tickets up for grabs to see Snow White – Go Enter!” (Come back and leave a comment letting us know you tweeted.) (1 person)

The giveaway will end at Midnight on Wednesday, October 27th. Winners will be announced via email and tickets will be left at Will Call at the Alabama Theater box office.

Birmingham Events Calendar – October 24th – 30th

Posted on Sunday, October 24, 2010 by Angie

Take your pick of Halloween Happenings and activities around town! There are tons of things to do this week that will help you get some extra use out of that Halloween Costume. Trick or Treat alternatives, and a day full of fun for your pets! For a complete list of our Fall Festivals and Happenings check out that post here.

Be sure to check this page often throughout the week as it’s constantly updated! We hope you have a fantastic week!

It’s Not Our Fault if Your Kids are Bored!

Sunday October 24th

Mad Science Presents Star Trek Live – Alys Stephens Center
Get ready to embark on an out-of-this-world, interactive adventure based on the most popular science fiction franchise of all time. STAR TREK LIVE is a thrilling journey that combines cutting-edge special effects, unmatched audience interaction, and space-age science to create an exhilarating and unforgettable theatrical experience for all ages! Experience danger as Earth comes under attack from alien forces. Suddenly, the fate of the Federation and human civilization is in your hands! It will require knowledge, ingenuity, logic, and an exploration of science to discover what is happening and how to set things right before it’s too late. Boldly go where no one has gone before!
3PM – Adults: $37 · Kids: $17 · tickets

Fall Festival Sloss Furnace
Come celebrate this spooky time of year at Sloss! No fright, just guaranteed fun! Wear your costumes!!
Pumpkin Carving, Games For The Kids, The Ghost of Sloss Furnaces book will be read by our very own Sloss Witch at 2:30pm, Free Snacks and a Spooky Sloss Scavenger Hunt. Let them know if you are coming! RSVP to info@slossfurnaces.com
Free to all Sloss Furnaces Foundation Members and Future Furnace Keeper Kids Club Members! (please bring proof of membership the day of event)
Admission for non-members is $3 each. Walk Up sales only. All Children Under Age 5 are FREE!
1pm-4pm

*Animal exhibits will be closed for Boo at the Zoo. The Zoo will close at 4 p.m. on each day of Boo at the Zoo.

Barts Spooktacular Party – Birmingham Museum of Art
Bart the Art Bat invites everyone to his spooktacular party! Get in hauntingly happy spirits just before Halloween — Bart’s favorite holiday! Come dressed as your favorite objet d’art to scare away the goblins, go on a trick-or-treat scavenger hunt and rack up on goodies, listen to some spooky stories that’ll make your teeth chatter, and craft a pumpkin to scare away those pesky black cats! Be ready for a BOO-liciously spooky time!
FREE! 11am-3pm

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Monday October 25th

Monday Movie – Homewood Library
Join us for a fun flick and a tasty treat!
3:30pm

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Tuesday October 26th

Halloween Hoopla – Hoover Library
Come celebrate Halloween in your best costume! We will have games, prizes and snacks throughout the Kid Zone and a special screening of Hocus Pocus on the Plaza.
6:30 pm

Spooktacular Movie Night – Emmet O’ Neal
Pumpkin Decorating and Movie on the lawn.
Pick a pumpkin from our pumpkin patch to decorate with your family while you watch
“It‛s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown” outside on the big screen.
All Ages – 6pm

Barnes and Noble – Summit – Terrific Tuesday Storytime
Please join us as we read A Good Day by Kevin Henkes. What makes a bad day turn into a good day for three animals such as the yellow bird, the white dog and the red fox?
11:00am

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Wednesday October 27th

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Thursday October 28th

Costume Capers – Alabaster Library
Children may come in costume to enjoy Halloween treats and the wonder of comic magician Russell Davis. The fun, surprises, and refreshments begin at 4:15 p.m. in the mobile unit. Children 6 years old and younger must be with an adult.

Fall Festival – Homewood Community Center
Our long time fall event provides a variety of games, goodies, a concession stand, inflatables and a costume contest that begins at 7pm.
6pm – 9pm

Family Pumpkin Carving – Homewood Library
Join us for the second annual Pumpkin Carving Night. You may bring your own pumpkin or buy one from us for $4.00. All children must have an adult partner. Call 332-6619 to register or for more information.
6pm – 7:15pm

Railroad Park Sunset Cinema
Scream 7:00pm – 9:00pm

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Friday October 29th

Trick or Treat – Emmet O’Neal
Wear your costume and visit all the departments of the library.

*Animal exhibits will be closed for Boo at the Zoo. The Zoo will close at 4 p.m. on each day of Boo at the Zoo.

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Saturday October 30th

Trick or Treat – Emmet O’Neal
Wear your costume and visit all the departments of the library.

Trick or Treat Hoover Library
Trick or treat throughout the library.
2pm-6pm

Flying Things Party – Southern Museum of Flight
Flying Things Party with Ghost Stories & Mystery Scavenger Hunt at SMF. Kids come dressed as your favorite Flying Thing, go on a Flying Things scavenger hunt, hear a Flying Thing ghost story and get Flying Thing cookies and juice.
10am-12pm

Lowes Build and Grow
Bring your child to Lowe’s and they can build this awesome Flapping Bat! This kit comes with Glow in the Dark stickers!
10am

Pet A Palooza – Veterans Park Hoover
All kinds of fun for Pets and their Humans!
9am – 2pm

*Animal exhibits will be closed for Boo at the Zoo. The Zoo will close at 4 p.m. on each day of Boo at the Zoo.

Helena Market Days/Farmers Market – Helena Amphitheater
8:00am – 12:00pm

Saturday Storytime at Barnes and Noble Summit
Come dressed in your Halloween costume to hear the story The Halloween Kid by Rhode Montijo. Hear how the Halloween Kid can wrangle all manners of Halloween Hoodlums to keep the night safe for trick-or-treaters.
2:00pm

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