Birmingham Events Calendar: October 23rd – October 30th

Posted on Sunday, October 23, 2011 by Angie

Have you purchased your costumes yet? Halloween is just around the corner and the calendar is full of spooky story times, trick or treating and of course Fall Festivals galore!

If you’re up for a scary movie check out Railroad Parks Sunset Cinema, this week they’ll be showing Poltergeist!

Looks like it’s going to be a great weather week so get out and enjoy some of our everyday local attractions like your local parks, or Vulcan Museum!

It’s Not Our Fault if Your Kids are Bored!

Sunday October 23rd:

Vulcan Aftertunes – Vulcan Park
Enjoy cool tunes, fresh brews and sweet views with Birmingham’s hip iron man, Vulcan. Chill out in Birmingham’s backyard and end your week with friends and family (of all ages) while listening to some of the area’s best music. Gates open at 1 p.m. Tickets and seating are first-come, first-served and general admission. Lawn chairs and blankets strongly encouraged. Food, beer, wine and soft drinks will be available for purchase. No pets or outside alcohol allowed. All shows rain or shine. For additional concert details and up-to-date artist information, log onto www.visitvulcan.com.
3pm

Jazz in the Park – Railroad Park
Join us for our 2nd annual Jazz in the Park concert series in Birmingham Railroad Park as we partner with Councilor Johnathan Austin District 5 Fun Day event. Bring your picnic basket and lawn chair for an evening of Jazz featuring diverse group Birmingham area Jazz musicians.
Jazz in the Park is a smoke-free event and healthy food vendors will be available including Jones Valley Urban Farm and West End Gardens.
3pm – 6pm

Boo at the Zoo –
Put on your favorite family-friendly costume and have a ghoulish time as you experience haunted attractions and make your way through safe candy villages organized by local non-profit organizations and child-centered business. Go round and round on the Scarousel*, attend Ghoul School at Grandma’s Back Porch, ride The Eerie Express*, cut a rug at the “Monster-Mash” Dance Party, monkey-around at the Planet of the Apes Experience*, attend a Wildlife Show and much, much more!
5pm – 9pm
Admission: $8 (Members & Non-Members), tax included

Barts Art Cart – Sculpture
October is Bart’s favorite month! Come out to create your own Bart the Art Bat Sculpture.

Visit Bart’s Art Cart in the main lobby to explore great art and create some art of your own with the help of our Teen Volunteers. Each month highlights a different gallery and features a new art activity. Learn how to look at art with your child. Stop by and make art with Bart!
11am

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Monday October 24th:

Halloween Crafts – West End Library
Come join us to make a wonderful craft for you or someone special. Supplies will be provided.
3:30pm

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Tuesday October 25th:

Scooby-Doo’s Howl O’ Ween – Hoover Public Library
Show off your Halloween costume early when you join Scooby and the gang for games, crafts and snacks throughout the Kid Zone.
6:30pm

Storytime – Homewood Public Library
Join us for the fun of it! All ages welcome. For larger groups, a call is nice but not necessary.
10:30am

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Wednesday October 26th:

Scared Silly Storytime – Barnes and Noble Summit
Little Goblins Ten! Over the river and through the woods, you’ll find all kinds of spooky, silly creatures just waiting to count to ten with you as they celebrate their favorite night, Halloween! Enjoy something to sip on while we draw our best goblin.
10am

Family Story Time with Mr Mac – North Shelby Library
Storyteller Extraordinaire – Come join Mr Mac and his musical storytime complete with puppets! All Ages, no registration required.
10:45am

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Thursday October 27th:

Storytime Fun – Vestavia Hills Library
join Ms. Amanda for Storytime Fun. Adventures of all kinds for kids ages 3 years through 5 years.
10:30am

Sunset Cinemas – Railroad Park
Poltergeist– 7pm
George’s Boxcar Cafe and Jim ‘N Nick’s Barbecue will be selling food and drink during the movies! George’s Boxcar Cafe will have all of your movie favorites, including popcorn, nachos, and candy; PLUS they will be serving cocktails! Jim ‘N Nick’s will be grilling their famous barbecue and will have other delectable Southern treats, including their famous cheese biscuits!

What to bring: a blanket or lawn chair and cash or credit card to so that you can purchase delicious food and beverages from George’s Boxcar Cafe and Jim N Nick’s!

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Friday October 28th:

Barts Art Cart – Sculpture
October is Bart’s favorite month! Come out to create your own Bart the Art Bat Sculpture.

Story Day with Nene – Whole Foods
stories, songs, and snacks as Mrs. Renee Schmidt leads the fun.
10am

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Saturday October 29th:

Fall Festival – Oak Mountain State Park
Come join us for the 1st Fall Festival at Oak Mountain State Park. We will have all kinds of activities to include: hayrides, face painting, moonwalk, cake hop, corn cob toss, bobbing for apples, dunking booth, and a pumpkin carving contest. Bring your own pumpkin to carve.

Food and drinks will be available to purchase.
Park admission is charged: $3 adults, $1 children (ages 6 to 11), 5 & under are free, $1 seniors (age 62+).

Activities have a fee of $1 each. Tickets for activities can be purchased under the Dogwood Pavilion. Money will not be accepted at each activity, only tickets.
10am – 2pm

Mr Laurel Farmer’s Market and Craft Fair
Activities, music and family fun
8am – Noon

Oktoberfest – Moody City Park
Annual fall festival with arts, crafts, jewelry, children’s activities, camel/pony rides, petting zoo, live entertainment, food and so much FUN!
10am – 5pm

Pet a Palooza – Veteran’s Park Hoover
Annual, community-wide event for pets and their humans.The stage will host a blessing of the pets, contests, and a “Fashion Show of Humans” by Maurice’s that will showcase rescue dogs looking for a home. Pets and their humans can shop at pet related vendors, view homemade arts and crafts, listen to music and enjoy great food. ABC 33/40, one of the event partners, will be on hand with special surprises. We encourage you to bring your chairs and come out to Veteran’s Park Hoover to meet and greet other pet lovers. We even invite you to dress up in celebration of the Halloween season. Proceeds will benefit local pet rescues.

Remember: all pets should be well mannered and properly vaccinated to attend this day of fun. Those not complying may be asked to leave.
9am – 2pm

Boo at the Zoo –
Put on your favorite family-friendly costume and have a ghoulish time as you experience haunted attractions and make your way through safe candy villages organized by local non-profit organizations and child-centered business. Go round and round on the Scarousel*, attend Ghoul School at Grandma’s Back Porch, ride The Eerie Express*, cut a rug at the “Monster-Mash” Dance Party, monkey-around at the Planet of the Apes Experience*, attend a Wildlife Show and much, much more!
5pm – 9pm
Admission: $8 (Members & Non-Members), tax included

Barts Art Cart – Sculpture
October is Bart’s favorite month! Come out to create your own Bart the Art Bat Sculpture.

Saturday Market – Pepper Place
7am – Noon

Ghouly Saturday Storytime– Barnes and Noble Summit
Halloween is just around the corner, that’s why we’re reading Goodnight Goon! As a little werewolf tries to sleep, a Goon comes in and messes everything in sight. What are we going to do with this Naughty Goon? Happy Halloween!
11am

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Sunday October 30th:

Trick or Treat in the Museum – McWane Science Center
Bring your little monsters for a not-too-scary but totally spooky adventure! Try science “tricks” like sticking your hands in slime, learning how to mix mysterious potions, and even touching pumpkin guts! Wear a costume to the museum and get a special treat.
Noon – 4pm

Boo at the Zoo –
Put on your favorite family-friendly costume and have a ghoulish time as you experience haunted attractions and make your way through safe candy villages organized by local non-profit organizations and child-centered business. Go round and round on the Scarousel*, attend Ghoul School at Grandma’s Back Porch, ride The Eerie Express*, cut a rug at the “Monster-Mash” Dance Party, monkey-around at the Planet of the Apes Experience*, attend a Wildlife Show and much, much more!
5pm – 9pm
Admission: $8 (Members & Non-Members), tax included

Barts Art Cart – Sculpture
October is Bart’s favorite month! Come out to create your own Bart the Art Bat Sculpture.

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Local Attractions Open Daily!

McWane Science Center:

Eat Well, Play Well Exhibit:
What is in the food we eat? Are fruits and vegetables important? Can everyday activities burn calories? Visitors will find the answers to these questions by exploring nutrition and fitness in this summer’s traveling exhibit called Eat Well, Play Well. This highly-interactive exhibit encourage healthy living by teaching the science of making healthy-food choices and helping children and adults discover that there are many fun and interesting ways to stay active. Visitors will discover what an appropriate serving size looks like, see first hand what it takes to burn off calories, test their flexibility and balance, review the latest clinical research and realize that they can reduce their risk of disease with healthy choices that are within their reach.

IMAX
McWane Science Center’s IMAX® Dome Theater puts you in the center of the action by projecting breathtaking quality images onto the 5-story-tall dome screen and delivering intense surround sound through almost 3 tons of speakers and subwoofers.
Now Showing: Tornado Ally, Born to Be Wild, and Wild Ocean.

Birmingham Zoo:

Lorikeet Aviary – Our Lorikeet Aviary has more birds than ever! Zoo guests can feed these exotic birds every day. You and your family will see these birds’ behavior as they eat nectar out of your hand.
Weekends 10:00 am – 4:00 pm

PELICAN FEEDING – A great way to see our pelicans in action is to witness them eating their favorite treats near the pelican boardwalk.

RHINO ENCOUNTER – Embark on an African adventure and experience one of the world’s most extraordinary animals, the Southern White Rhino. Watch from only feet away as our zookeepers engage in hands-on interaction with the animals inside their African-themed exhibit. Don’t miss this exciting encounter with one of the largest mammals on the planet!
Weekdays: 3pm – 3:30pm
Weekends: 11:30am – Noon & 3pm – 3:30 pm

GIRAFFE FEEDING – This up close and personal animal encounter is a memory you and your family will have for a lifetime.
Weekday: 11am – Noon
Weekends: 10am – 11am & 2pm – 3pm

Vulcan Park and Museum:

Vulcan is the world’s largest cast iron statue; made of 100,000 pounds of iron and 56 feet tall, he stands at the top of Red Mountain overlooking the city of Birmingham. But, Vulcan is more than a statue. Vulcan Park and Museum features spectacular views of Birmingham, an interactive history museum that examines Vulcan and Birmingham’s story, and a beautiful public park for visitors and locals to enjoy. With an official information center that is operated by the Greater Birmingham Convention and Visitors Bureau, Vulcan Park and Museum serves as the first stop for visitors to the Birmingham area!

Railroad Park:

Railroad Park is a 19 acre green space in downtown Birmingham that celebrates the industrial and artistic heritage of our great city. Situated along 1st Avenue South, between 14th and 18th Streets, the park is a joint effort between the City of Birmingham and the Railroad Park Foundation. Hailed as “Birmingham’s Living Room,” Railroad Park provides a historically rich venue for local recreation, family activities, concerts, and cultural events, while connecting Birmingham’s downtown area with Southside and UAB’s campus.

Southern Museum of Flight:

Earn Your Wings – Bring your little pilot and soar above the clouds in our little pilots room. Kids enjoy building aircrafts, flying kites, and more.
Museum Open Tuesday – Thursday
9:30am – 4:30pm

Do you have or know of an event you would like to have added to our weekly calendar? Please email us at contact@birminghammommy.com, subject line “Events Calendar” – We would love to hear from you!

** All information listed on our calendar is subject to change without notice to us or you… We do our best to keep the information accurate and will always update as soon as we learn that something has changed. It’s always best to double check with the event via their website or a quick call, especially when weather can impact the event.

Giveaway: Shop, Save, and Share Card from Junior League of Birmingham

Posted on Thursday, October 20, 2011 by Angie

The kids haven’t even trick-or-treated, but that doesn’t mean you can’t start your holiday shopping now. Get ahead of the game, and do it the smart way with s Shop, Save, and Share card. Here’s how it works:

-Shoppers purchase a Shop, Save & Share Card for $40 either from self-selected retail partners during the event or through the Junior League of Birmingham prior to the event.

-Shoppers receive a 20% discount at participating retailers on merchandise sold to cardholders during the week of October 26 – November 6, 2011. A retail shopping guide, including the retailer’s name, locations, description and exclusions will accompany each Shop, Save & Share Card.

-Participating retail partners may limit or exclude specific items from the discount during the event. Exclusions will be printed in the retail shopping guide.

-Proceeds from the sale of the Shop, Save & Share Cards directly support the work of the Junior League of Birmingham.

GIVEAWAY!

You can win a Shop, Save, and Share card, here’s how:

1. Comment here. 1 entry total

2. Tweet “@JLBirmingham is giving away a goody on @BirminghamMommy http://ow.ly/748Of
” 1 entry per day, come back here and let us know you did it..

3. Head to Junior League’s Facebook page and Thank them! They do a lot of work, a little love goes a long way. 🙂 1 entry total

Two winners will be announced at the close of the contest on Tuesday the 25th

Good Luck!

Geocaching in Birmingham (and Beyond!)

Posted on Wednesday, October 19, 2011 by Angie

Are you familiar with Geocaching? If you have kids, you need to know about this activity, it’s great to do as a family.

Geocaching is a treasure hunting game where you use a GPS to hide and seek containers in random places all over the world. You might be surprised what you can find in your own backyard or neighborhood!

Although it’s been around for more than 10 years, it wasn’t until recently that I paid attention to the concept and now that I have children, I understand the appeal of this high tech game of hide and seek.

According to Wikipedia “a geocacher will place a waterproof container containing a log book (with pen or pencil) and trade items then record the cache’s coordinates. These coordinates, along with other details of the location, are posted on a listing site. Other geocachers obtain the coordinates from that listing site and seek out the cache using their GPS handheld receivers. The finding geocachers record their exploits in the logbook and online. Geocachers are free to take objects (except the logbook, pencil, or stamp) from the cache in exchange for leaving something of similar or higher value.”

Kids love to treasure hunt and with the help of your trusty smart phone and a couple of apps, this has never been easier. So visit your app store and download an app or two and spend one of these nice fall weekends having some family fun.

To learn more about Geocaching, Ruffner Mountain Nature Center will be hosting a Family Geocaching event on Saturday October 22nd – This course is perfect for those interested in learning more about how to geocache, as well those who just need a little guidance. Families will learn the basics of geocaching and will also have the opportunity to search for caches on the mountain. ●$10/ family. ●Reservations required. Reserve your spot today at http://shop.ruffnermountain.org/categories/Family-Programs/ ● Each family needs to have at least one handheld GPS unit or smartphone with a GPS or geocaching app

Summit Restaurants Go Pink to Promote Breast Cancer Awareness

Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 by Angie

Beginning today and running through Friday October 21st, many of the restaurants at The Summit will be going pink to support the Breast Cancer Research Foundation of Alabama.

This is the first time The Summit is hosting an entire week highlighting its restaurants. Several of the dining establishments will donate a portion of their proceeds to the BCRFA when guests dine on certain days and/or during certain hours. Some restaurants will also offer special pink desserts or cocktails throughout the month. Participating eateries include: Flip Burger Boutique, California Pizza Kitchen, Chuy’s Mexican Food, Flat Top Grill, Izzo’s Illegal Burrito, Macaroni Grill, Sweet Bones Alabama, Village Tavern and Zoe’s Kitchen.

More information about the participating restaurants including the schedule for the week and the associated donation can be found at: http://bcrfa.org/summit/restaurant_week.php

Birmingham Events Calendar: October 16th – October 23rd

Posted on Sunday, October 16, 2011 by Angie

Halloween Happenings are heating up all around town, have you checked out our complete list of all the events going on? You should!

Restaurant Week will be kicking off at the Summit Shopping Center, and many of the restaurants will be donating a portion of their proceeds to the Breast Cancer Research Foundation of Alabama, we’ll have more details on that coming up on the site soon.

You can catch a Build and grow Clinic at Lowes and if you’re interested in Geocaching or learning more about it, Ruffner Mountain Nature Center will have a great event next weekend for the entire family!

Have a great week!

It’s Not Our Fault if Your Kids are Bored!

Sunday October 16th:

Barts Art Cart – Sculpture
October is Bart’s favorite month! Come out to create your own Bart the Art Bat Sculpture.

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Monday October 17th:

Monday Movie – Homewood Library
Join us for a fun flick and tasty treats
3:30pm

Halloween Family Night – Vestavia Hills Library
Come join us for the Vestavia Hills Library for Halloween Family Night: Bring the entire family to an awesome evening of Halloween fun. Refreshments will be served. Registration Required for this event. Register in the Children’s Department or call 978-0158.

6pm

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Tuesday October 18th:

Lego Monster Lab – Hoover Public Library
Use all your “mad” building skills to create a creepy creature. All participants entered into drawing for Lego door prizes. Ages 7-12. Registration begins Sep. 26.
6:30pm

Storytime – Homewood Public Library
Join us for the fun of it! All ages welcome. For larger groups, a call is nice but not necessary.
10:30am

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Wednesday October 19th:

Fall Carnival – Magnolia Park, Trussville
Fun games, rides and food for everyone!
Admission: $14 for wristbands and $1 for individual tickets. **Coupons will be available at area businesses and Paine Primary and Intermediate Schools.** Coupons are also available for $1 off the price of the wristband at the Trussville Area Chamber of Commerce.
6pm – 9pm

Spooky Sing a Long Storytime – Barnes and Noble Summit
There are five singing skulls and four icky eyeballs in this creepy-crawly countdown to The 13 Nights of Halloween by Guy Vasilovich. When we reach the end of the song, we’ll sip on something sweet from our Cafe and create some spooky crafts.
11am

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Thursday October 20th:

Meet and Astronaut – Southern Museum of Flight
Dr. Serena M. Auñón was selected in July 2009 as one of 14 members of the 20th NASA astronaut class. She recently graduated from Astronaut Candidate Training that included scientific and technical briefings, intensive instruction in ISS systems, Extravehicular Activity (EVA), robotics, physiological training, T-38 flight training and water and wilderness survival training.
7:30pm – 8:30pm

Relax By the Tracks – Railroad Park
Relax By The Tracks is a free event sponsored by the Railroad Park Foundation Junior Board and George’s Boxcar Cafe. Free music will be provided by Lauren-Michael Sellers and the legendary Gip Gipson. Food and drinks will be available for purchase at George’s Boxcar Cafe. Fun for the whole family!
5pm – 7pm

Sunset Cinemas – Railroad Park
Rocky III– 7pm
George’s Boxcar Cafe and Jim ‘N Nick’s Barbecue will be selling food and drink during the movies! George’s Boxcar Cafe will have all of your movie favorites, including popcorn, nachos, and candy; PLUS they will be serving cocktails! Jim ‘N Nick’s will be grilling their famous barbecue and will have other delectable Southern treats, including their famous cheese biscuits!

What to bring: a blanket or lawn chair and cash or credit card to so that you can purchase delicious food and beverages from George’s Boxcar Cafe and Jim N Nick’s!

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Friday October 21st:

Barts Art Cart – Sculpture
October is Bart’s favorite month! Come out to create your own Bart the Art Bat Sculpture.

Story Day with Nene – Whole Foods
stories, songs, and snacks as Mrs. Renee Schmidt leads the fun.
10am

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Saturday October 22nd:

Family Geocaching – Ruffner Mountain Nature Center
Geocaching is often described as a combination of an outdoor scavenger hunt mixed with hide and seek. This course is perfect for those interested in learning more about how to geocache, as well those who just need a little guidance. Families will learn the basics of geocaching and will also have the opportunity to search for caches on the mountain. •$10/ family. •Reservations required. •Each family needs to have at least one handheld GPS unit or smartphone with a GPS or geocaching app.
10am

Lowes Build and Grow
Halloween Monster Truck
This “Monster” truck includes a flashing light and glow in the dark stickers!
10am

Boo at the Zoo –
Put on your favorite family-friendly costume and have a ghoulish time as you experience haunted attractions and make your way through safe candy villages organized by local non-profit organizations and child-centered business. Go round and round on the Scarousel*, attend Ghoul School at Grandma’s Back Porch, ride The Eerie Express*, cut a rug at the “Monster-Mash” Dance Party, monkey-around at the Planet of the Apes Experience*, attend a Wildlife Show and much, much more!
5pm – 9pm
Admission: $8 (Members & Non-Members), tax included

Barts Art Cart – Sculpture
October is Bart’s favorite month! Come out to create your own Bart the Art Bat Sculpture.

Saturday Market – Pepper Place
7am – Noon

Scaredy Cat Splat Saturday Storytime– Barnes and Noble Summit
How can a scaredy-cat be the scariest cat in the class? When that cat is Splat! Find out how Splat and Seymour become brave and learn that everyone gets scared sometimes. Sneak a peek at our Toys & Games Department and create some tricky crafts.
11am

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Sunday October 23rd:

Barts Art Cart – Sculpture
October is Bart’s favorite month! Come out to create your own Bart the Art Bat Sculpture.

One Mom's Breastfeeding Journey: How It Changed Her Perspective

Posted on Wednesday, October 12, 2011 by Angie

By: Erin Donohoo:

I approached breastfeeding with a cavalier attitude. My husband and I sat through the lactation course at the hospital and I thought that if it worked out it would be great but if it didn’t then I’d just use formula. My sister in law had a baby a few years before and she wasn’t able to breastfeed. I guessed that it might not be something for me. I had no idea the path I would take.

When I was admitted to the hospital, I made it clear that I wanted to nurse my daughter. I was able to do so right after delivery. She took right to it and seemed to be doing well. I loved nursing her. The smell of her hair. The closeness of her body to mine. The comfort that I felt being able to curl in bed with her and have the whole world melt away. I never pictured myself as being so in love with the act of breastfeeding my daughter. It became very comfortable for me to do it. I never had to worry with mixing a bottle, throwing money down the drain when it wasn’t consumed and I could do it wherever I wanted. Everything was going well and I didn’t want to stop. There were so many advantages to breastfeeding that I didn’t understand why anyone would ever use formula. I felt like I was a wonder woman, being able to really be everything my daughter needed.

Did I judge those mothers who used formula? Yes. Yes, I did. They were lazy, selfish and uneducated about the miracle of breast milk. Why would anyone willingly go straight to formula or just give up on breast feeding? It was definitely a selfish move. I had sacrificed a lot of my body and my year just to get pregnant, stay pregnant and now deliver this perfect being. If I could do it, everyone else should be held to the same standard.

Ten weeks later it all changed. I realized I wasn’t invincible. My mother died unexpectedly. It was a huge shock to my system. A few hours later I was sitting at the dining room table, planning her funeral with my brother, calling relatives and trying to figure out what to do next. My daughter was starving and no matter how long I nursed her she was not full. I pumped after waiting several hours and barely produced one ounce. I didn’t know what to do. My body had shut down from shock. She was hungry and I physically could not do anything about it. I was falling into hell. I had brought some milk from the fridge with me and I gave it to her. I called a friend and asked the unthinkable: to get her to drive from Birmingham to Auburn and bring me some of the milk I had at my house. Julie did it without a second thought. She also sat at the table and watched me start eating for the first time in a while. The next morning I started making a little more milk. I felt like I had some normal life coming back. I couldn’t let this horrible situation end my perfect nursing experience. I realized though that there are times that you can’t do it all.

When my daughter was 6 months old, I started weaning her. Pete and I got married well into our 30’s and we knew we would have two children quickly. I had to quit breast feeding to try to get pregnant again. I couldn’t lactate and take fertility drugs. Which did I value more- breast milk in my daughter or not having another child- or having a child much closer to 40? It was a calculated decision. I didn’t want to stop nursing, and I really didn’t want to give her formula. I also didn’t want her to be an only child. I started using formula with her and felt terrible. It took six months to get pregnant and every month that I wasn’t pregnant I felt guilty because it could have been a month that I could breastfeed her. I saw women get pregnant while nursing and I was jealous of them. Why was it easy for them and not for me?

When I was pregnant with my son, I told Pete that I was excited about having another child but I was really excited about breast feeding again. I knew I would be able to nurse him for however long we both could have a mutually satisfying relationship. I longed for the days that I could cuddle him in bed and have those sweet memories made that I had with my daughter.

Of course, everyone knew that I was going to breast feed again. It was never a secret that I did it the first time around. Somehow it felt a little different though. My sister in law was pregnant (with her fourth) and due two weeks before I was. At a family gathering something came up about the fact that I nursed and she said that I “like, nurse FOREVER”. Forever? Really? Cause I felt that I had been cutting it short at 6 months with my daughter. Then I got strange looks when I said that I was hoping to nurse him for a year. I couldn’t figure out why it was strange to nurse him for the first year. I had people say that I was the only person they knew that breast fed. I couldn’t believe it. Was I really a freak? I was making the very best choice for me and for my family. Mothering was hard enough without people making comments about how I reared my children. The people who said it was “sick” to know that a mother was nursing that long. As if I was checking him out of AP Biology to nurse him. I started to realize that I had been one of those judgmental people and now the tables were turned.

Right before my first was born, my mother gave me some of the best advice I could ever hear. “You’re going to make lots of decisions for your children. Some of them are good; some of them are not that great. But there’s a lot of not so great decisions that you’ll learn from and it’s not going to kill anyone. And if you ask for my opinion I will give it- but only if you ask.” It’s become my mantra for motherhood. My best friend became pregnant shortly after William was born. She had been trying to conceive for a while and had problems along the way. She has Rheumatoid Arthritis and she stopped taking Enbrel to become pregnant. She would not be able to nurse and take medication. She was hoping that her RA would go into remission and thankfully during the pregnancy, it did. As he got a little older she started feeling the pain again. We had many conversations about what to do and she was very adamant that she wanted to keep nursing. I kept reminding her that she has to take care of herself first before she could take care of the baby. If that meant giving him formula rather than breast milk, it was a perfect choice. Why give him the breast if she wouldn’t physically be able to pick him up? So against all assumptions, I told her to stop nursing when she felt that she needed to go back on Enbrel. She knew when that day arrived and she got over the guilt. He is a healthy and very happy baby. She’s a happy mother because she feels like taking care of him- and that makes her a better mother and wife. And let me say- after all Jess has been through with her body, she is my flipping HERO.

I nursed William for a little over a year. The beginning was hard. He acted like he was sucking the chrome off of a trailer hitch. I was bruised and tearful. But I was determined to keep at it. He was thriving and the pain became less and less. I worked through it and we had a great nursing experience. William loved to nurse. I could ask him if he wanted to nurse and he would come crawling at warp speed to get to me. My daughter would pull her shirts up and nurse her stuffed animals. She even told me one day “Mommee, those boobies? Those are William’s boobies!”. I told her to go tell her Daddee the same thing. My husband still laughs about all the times I nursed in public. Like trick or treating and I just had him attached and walking from house to house. Or in the back of church during the scripture reading was from Isaiah speaking about the comforting love of God being like the nursing mother (and yes, we laughed about the appropriateness of the situation). Or sitting in his (very Catholic) parents living room with everyone standing around and my boob is out with a baby attached. Or twice on the plane to Chicago. Or six rows up from the dug out at Wrigley Field. Or yes, in the dressing room at a drag show where my friend from college had to warn the drag queens that I was in there “so they won’t be freaked out”. After William was weaned, I had 1700 frozen ounces that he finished. I was quite proud getting him so much liquid gold.

I still miss the nursing of a baby. It is a special, close time that you can’t ever get back. It creates a bond between mother and child that is so indescribable. But I didn’t get a gold star for it. No pat on the back. Nothing. It’s similar to the rest of the parenting experience. It’s not for the approval of the rest of the world. It’s for your own pride and joy. It’s to live in those moments that you know you have done your absolute best for your family each day. For me, that happens to mean that I breast feed. It also means that I support other mothers in being good mothers- and not judging them for their choices.

Parenting with a Ph.D: Parent Letter, Siblings and Special Needs

Posted on Monday, October 10, 2011 by Angie

Parent Question: Say you have a child with Autism that exhibits behaviors that are not desirable. How do you explain to a younger sibling that what big brother is doing is not what he should do. I am not just talking about the outbursts and tantrums, but he has quirks and other odd behaviors, for lack of better word, that the younger brother is simulating.

Parenting with a PhD Response: Great question and one that I’m sure many parents struggle with. Siblings of children with special needs comprise an oft-overlooked group because they usually don’t require as much help; however, this doesn’t mean that special attention isn’t needed. Before you can help your typical child understand why expectations for he and his brother may differ, it will be important to explain the special needs in language that is age-appropriate. Here are some ideas:

1. Read and, more importantly, discuss books together on the topic. Ask a librarian for ideas or consider the following:

Brothers and Sisters by Laura Dwight – Told from the perspective of children whose siblings have special needs
Don’t Call Me Special: A First Look at Disability by Pat Thomas
Ian’s Walk: A Story About Autism by Laurie Lears
Pebble Books’ “Understanding Differences” series beginning with the words: “Some Kids…”
The Special Needs Acceptance Book: Being a Friend to Someone with Special Needs by Ellen Sabin – Interactive workbook for older children

2. Let your child ask questions. You may not have all the answers he’s looking for but it’s o.k. to say, “I don’t know.”

3. Listen to her concerns without judgment. This can be tough. Your child might express anger at her sibling or at you. She may feel embarrassed, sad, confused, you-name-it. Again, it’s not necessary that you have a solution for how she’s feeling – only that you listen and do your best to support her.

Once you have begun the conversation about special needs, it’s time to make expectations for each child clear. Some techniques:

1 .Focus on what you expect from your typical child in various situations: for example, using words instead of screaming to tell you when she’s tired, angry, hot, hungry, etc. Praise and reward these behaviors when you see them. Give reminders and appropriate consequences when expectations are not being met.

2. Minimize comparisons you make between your children. Your expectations for each will be different, which is hard for young children to understand. Focusing on each child as an individual will help.

3. Highlight that we all have strengths and challenges. Have your typical child tell what he does best and what is hardest for him. Segue into talking about the ways that the behavior of your child with special needs may be similar to and different from that of other children. Be careful not to suggest that the quirks are “bad,” just different.

4. Look for opportunities to coach your typical child in situations where the quirks are occurring. For example, if during a playdate he displays an unusual behavior learned from his older brother, watch for the friend’s reaction. Later, when the other child has gone home, gently point out to your child that the behavior seemed to confuse his friend. Talk about why the friend may have felt that way. Tread very lightly here so that you don’t embarrass your child or make him feel that his friend dislikes him.

5. Ensure that your typical child is receiving appropriate amounts of attention, both for what she does and for who she is. Focus on her effort toward tasks and less on the outcome. If she gets attention for appropriate behaviors, she’s less likely to resort to problematic ones. Highlight those personality characteristics you especially value and steer clear of praising the superficials (e.g., appearance) too much.

Imitation is one of the best methods we have for learning so it’s only natural that younger siblings copy even unusual behaviors displayed by their big brothers and sisters. Keep in mind: behaviors that aren’t reinforced are less likely to continue so ignoring the imitated quirks may do the trick. Also likely, your younger son’s friends will probably start to notice and comment on the unusual behaviors, which may result in peer pressure for him to stop.

If you try some of the ideas discussed here and things don’t improve, talk to your pediatrician. A referral for a behavioral therapist may be helpful for coming up with other strategies to use. If, in discussing the special needs your family deals with it becomes clear that your typical child is having an especially hard time coping, consider therapy to give him an objective outlet for expressing his feelings.

About this column: Send your parenting- and kid-related questions my way via email and I’ll tell you what I can: Please be aware that email is not a secure method of transmitting personal information so it’s best to keep your questions general. If your question is featured, your name and email will not be published. Submitting a question does not constitute a professional relationship in any way and this column is not meant to substitute for face-to-face therapy. If you feel you’re doing the best you can and still need help, it may be time to bring in a professional. Start by talking with your child’s pediatrician to get a referral.

Kristen S. Berthiaume, Ph.D.
Licensed Psychologist

Kristen Berthiaume is a clinical psychologist with Grayson and Associates.She obtained her Ph.D. in clinical psychology from the University of Kentucky. She completed a predoctoral internship in clinical psychology at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and a post- doctoral fellowship in the Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorders (ADHD) Program at Duke University Medical Center.

She specializes in providing assessment and treatment of children, adolescents, and families dealing with the following issues:
ADHD
learning disorders
social skill deficits
organizational problems
behavioral difficulties
anxiety
depression

She generally focuses on behavioral and cognitive- behavioral techniques, but maintains a flexible approach to therapy. Her other day job is as mom to her four-year-old daughter and 18-month-old son.

Birmingham Events Calendar: October 9th – October 16th

Posted on Sunday, October 9, 2011 by Angie

More beautiful weather, more decisions to make on how you’re going to spend those days! It’s going to be a fun week at the McWane Science Center with Dinosaur Day and Weatherfest happening this week.

Railroad Park and Ruffner Mountain Nature Center will both be offering free movies and you can check out Cocktails in the Gardens if you can sneak a night out without the kids!

If you’re looking for Pumpkin Patches or more fall activities, make sure to check out our list of Fall Happenings.

It’s Not Our Fault if Your Kids are Bored!

Sunday October 9th:

Vulcan Aftertunes – Vulcan Park
enjoy cool tunes, fresh brews and sweet views on Sunday afternoons with your favorite cast iron statue, Vulcan. Chill out in Birmingham’s backyard and end your week with some of the area’s best music while witnessing spectacular views of Birmingham’s city skyline.
3pm

Break ‘n Bread – Railroad Park
Food and wine festival, will feature tastings from a number of premier Birmingham-based restaurants, including Hot n’ Hot Fish Club, Daniel George, Little Savannah, Silvertron, Nabeel’s, Ted’s, Cafe de Paris, Cantina, 26, Sol y Luna and Ocean to name a few. Additionally, a dedicated children’s area will be set up and will feature entertainment and a petting corner from the Birmingham Zoo, as well as pumpkin decorating, face painting with the clowns from the Birmingham Children’s Hospital, a Desert Island Supply Company writing workshop and a cooking demonstration just for kids by Campus Dining, Inc’s Chris Vizzina. American Idol winner and co-owner of ORE Bar & Grill Taylor Hicks is also confirmed as the headliner for the event, as well as Memphis-based singer/songwriter Eliot Morris.
Tickets are $35 for regular, $75 for VIP and children under 12 years old get in free. Tickets are available for purchase at www.birminghamoriginals.org
1:00pm – 5:00pm

Hot Strings, Birmingham’s Blazin’ Bluegrass Festival – The Preserve
Family friendly festival which features some of the best names in Bluegrass. Artists, great food, and a kid’s area.
12pm – 8pm

Barts Art Cart – Sculpture
October is Bart’s favorite month! Come out to create your own Bart the Art Bat Sculpture.

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Monday October 10th:

Dinosaur Day – McWane Science Center
A prehistoric party all day! Join us for dino-mite programs in the museum designed for all ages programs range from fossil making to learning about rare finds in McWane Science Center’s natural history collection.

Guests who dress up in dinosaur clothes will get a surprise!
Included in cost of admission, FREE for members

Visit their site for a schedule of special events happening throughout the day

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Tuesday October 11th:

Family Night – Emmett O’Neal Library
The Reluctant Dragon – David Stephens’ All Hands Productions brings you a puppet special, “The Reluctant Dragon,” Dinner at 5:30, show at 6:00. All ages. No registration required.

Storytime – Homewood Public Library
Join us for the fun of it! All ages welcome. For larger groups, a call is nice but not necessary.
10:30am

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Wednesday October 12th:

After School Special – Emmet O’Neal Library
“JACK AND THE BEANSTALK”
David Stephens’ All Hands Productions brings you a puppet presentation of “Jack and the Beanstalk.” 3:30. Ages 3 and up. No registration required.

Wonderful Wednesday Storytime – Barnes and Noble Summit
Lets hunt for a big, beautiful pumpkin with everyone’s favorite friends, Duck and Goose. Hear as they search through the leaves, in a log and even under water for the perfect pumpkin. Sip on a treat from Cafe and draw us your best pumpkin too.
11am

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Thursday October 13th:

Cocktails in the Garden – Birmingham Botanical Gardens
Live local music, delicious hors d’oeuvres and signature cocktails at Birmingham’s most scenic happy hour. Bands, menus and ticket info will be announced in the summer, so stay tuned!

http://www.bbgardens.org/cocktails.php

Sunset Cinemas – Railroad Park
Back to the Future– 7pm
George’s Boxcar Cafe and Jim ‘N Nick’s Barbecue will be selling food and drink during the movies! George’s Boxcar Cafe will have all of your movie favorites, including popcorn, nachos, and candy; PLUS they will be serving cocktails! Jim ‘N Nick’s will be grilling their famous barbecue and will have other delectable Southern treats, including their famous cheese biscuits!

What to bring: a blanket or lawn chair and cash or credit card to so that you can purchase delicious food and beverages from George’s Boxcar Cafe and Jim N Nick’s!

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Friday October 14th:

Barts Art Cart – Sculpture
October is Bart’s favorite month! Come out to create your own Bart the Art Bat Sculpture.

Story Day with Nene – Whole Foods
stories, songs, and snacks as Mrs. Renee Schmidt leads the fun.
10am

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Saturday October 15th:

Weatherfest – McWane Science Center
FREE activities on plaza, $5 OFF Museum admission all day
Join the National Weather Association for the first ever WeatherFest at McWane Science Center from 10:00 am to 2:00 pm.
Weather enthusiasts of all ages are invited for a rare chance to meet meteorologists from all over the country. Learn about the science of meteorology and meet weather personalities from The Weather Channel, FOX6, ABC 33/40, NBC 13, CBS 42 and many others. Check out weather equipment on the plaza including a Doppler on Wheels, a mobile wind profiler and more. You’ll also have an opportunity to get your NOAA radio programmed. Outdoor activities will be free and open to the public.
Visitors receive $5 off museum admission on October 15.
Tornado Alley will also be showing in McWane’s IMAX® Dome Theater – the largest movie screen in Birmingham.
For more information, visit www.mcwane.org. To learn more about the National Weather Association Annual Meeting in Birmingham, go to www.NWA2011.com.

Mt Laurel Harvest Festival
Farmer’s Market & Craft Fair, Inflatables, Hay Rides, Music, Face Painting, Festival Concessions, Doggie Dress-up
10am – 3pm

Boo at the Zoo –
Put on your favorite family-friendly costume and have a ghoulish time as you experience haunted attractions and make your way through safe candy villages organized by local non-profit organizations and child-centered business. Go round and round on the Scarousel*, attend Ghoul School at Grandma’s Back Porch, ride The Eerie Express*, cut a rug at the “Monster-Mash” Dance Party, monkey-around at the Planet of the Apes Experience*, attend a Wildlife Show and much, much more!
5pm – 9pm
Admission: $8 (Members & Non-Members), tax included

Barts Art Cart – Sculpture
October is Bart’s favorite month! Come out to create your own Bart the Art Bat Sculpture.

Saturday Market – Pepper Place
7am – Noon

Saturday Storytime– Barnes and Noble Summit
Our favorite trouble making dog is back in Trick or Treat, Marley. Find out how Marley helps his family throw a big Halloween party and what a mess he makes while doing it. Play in our Toys & Games and color your favorite picture.
11am

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Sunday October 16th:

Barts Art Cart – Sculpture
October is Bart’s favorite month! Come out to create your own Bart the Art Bat Sculpture.

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Local Attractions Open Daily!

McWane Science Center:

Birmingham Zoo:

PELICAN FEEDING – A great way to see our pelicans in action is to witness them eating their favorite treats near the pelican boardwalk.

GIRAFFE FEEDING – This up close and personal animal encounter is a memory you and your family will have for a lifetime.
Weekday: 11am – Noon
Weekends: 10am – 11am & 2pm – 3pm

Vulcan Park and Museum:

Railroad Park:

Southern Museum of Flight:

aMOMymous: That's What She Said

Posted on Friday, October 7, 2011 by Angie

Today we tried to have a quickie during naptime. The babe woke up just as we were gettin’ down, screaming all bloody hell, and suddenly my boob was in his mouth. And then it was time for my partner-once-lover to go back to work. And our desert grew dyer. And I couldn’t help but wonder if we (the parents) will ever find the time and energy required to reboot our sex life.

Yes, I said sex life. From what I understand, some married couples with children still have one.

Later, as I paced the baking goods aisle at the grocery store, I fantasized about what got us in this mess (I say that with great humor and respect) in the first place. We have two kids, so dare I say we found time at some point. And then I ran my buggy straight into a stranger’s buggy and I swear that particular middle-aged, ring-wearing man looked straight in to my psyche and thought to himself, “That one’s not measuring up. Thank goodness she’s not my wife.”

Here’s the pressure point: I feel so much pressure – pressure to perform, pressure to satisfy, pressure to meet every need…And here’s the kicker…my “pressure points” aren’t working! Maybe it’s the breastfeeding. Maybe it’s the sleepless nights. Maybe they fell out during labor and delivery?

I’m a closet case. My favorite shorts still don’t fit. And I suspect they never will again. I also have a substantial collection of heels, all of which stare at me in disappointment every time I open the closet and reach in for the clogs. Tucked between those cute shorts and assortment of shoes hangs the private wardrobe of a woman who once felt sexy and sophisticated in fishnets and lace… I sigh and shove my way to the back of the closet for one more loose-fitting tunic to mask the shame of a body that’s borne children and is now left wrinkled and worn.

I wish I could be happier about all I have, about the incredible body that has allowed me to carry and deliver our children. But instead I feel the sabotaged sex life is actually a gift. At least this way he won’t be disappointed in what’s left and the lack thereof.

Mommy For Hire

Posted on Wednesday, October 5, 2011 by Angie

By LK Whitney:

What I’m about to say might grossly offend you.

It’s Tuesday morning. The sun is shining through a fluffy herd of big white clouds. There are waves crashing just about fifty feet from where I sit now. It’s the Atlantic Ocean. I’ve found a moment alone during a two-week beach tour that has included family, friends, the white sands of the Gulf of Mexico, and the slightly darker variety found along the eastern coastline. From the second floor of a charmingly rustic beach house, I’m writing alone, with leisure.

I think this might be heaven; it’s just the escape I needed. You are allowed to hate me.

Don’t think, though, that this type of indulgence comes free. You know what it’s like to travel Griswald-style with two young kids in late summer heat. I’ve seen you at that dark and dirty Burger King just off I-95. I know well, too, that it’s the only place with an indoor playground in, like, 100 miles…

But already, I digress.

Considering that this “vacation” really feels more like a production (something I’m actually quite used to, give my former life, sans kids/potty-training breakout sessions/tantrum mediating), I wondered how I’d gotten myself in to this situation of non revenue-producing cattle-herding. And it occurred to me – I’m now a full-time, unpaid employee of this house, this family of four (plus cat), this “Iife as we know it”.

Reality Check: By making the decision to forego static income in order to raise two small boys I made a huge career shift. And yes, I think speaking in terms of “career” still applies, as it (“The Mom Job”) requires substantial commitment, focus, follow-through, patience, productivity, and wit. (Skills, I might add, I’m still working on.) After all, I didn’t “apply” for this new job; it all just sort of happened, played out in bright colors and with little Disney/Pixar characters.

A recent late-night blog binge brought me to a website written by an Atlanta mom who gave up her lucrative career after the birth of her first child. (A lot of us can relate, yes?) This stay-at-home mom and keeper of all things “household” took her decision (and shift in professional focus) a step further by awarding this new “career” a title. She gave herself a job description. She mapped out goals and objectives. She took herself seriously.

After I’d stalked this modern mama online for a bit, I thought to myself, “This is so incredibly brilliant. I’m going to hire myself. I’m going to give myself an appropriate title for the holding-it-together-like-glue position I juggle within this household.”

And so that’s what I’ve been up to.

I sat down (with a frothy piña colada, made with love by my sun-kissed baby-daddy) and thought about what I would need in a “household manager” candidate. No, scratch that. This position is a bit more advanced, and I’m rather qualified, what with two kids. I think I’ll go with “Family & Lifestyle Director”.

You think it has a ring to it? Yes? No? Are you judging me right about now, wondering if I’m just wasting my time writing out a job description for a post that doesn’t pay (in cash or 401K)? Well, according to Publix’s Baby Club “Birth – Four Months” newsletter, “typical needs of mothers of young children” include “significance (I need to know that mothering matters), instruction (sometimes I need to know what to do), and perspective (sometimes I need to regain focus). Still not convinced that my approach is legitimate? Go get your own newsletter and read the six other needs listed. Yeah, this job of mothering ain’t easy. It’s glorious, but it certainly requires some justifications.

The following is a first draft, first stab outline of the responsibilities of this new “career”. And, to be fair, I also included benefits and compensation details. At the very least, give me credit for being creative in my method for some degree of measurable rewards.

Behold, my new career…

Director of Family & Domestic Affairs / Lifestyle Specialist

Responsibilities include, but are not limited to:

•   Inspirational fountainhead.
•   Behavioral development and oversight of up to three male, live-in bodies (one thirty-something, all others under three).
•   Estate administrative tasks (Scheduling, Accounts Payable, Errands, Etc.).
•   Coordinator for (family-friendly) special events, milestones, surprises, and memorable gatherings; responsible for unit’s social network and status.
•   Janitorial tasks and general maintenance of unit headquarters.
•   Chief nose-wiper, snack-maker, sore-soother, gift-wrapper.
•   Manager of main database (Division sometimes referred to as Motherboard).
•   Maker of home-processed, organic baby food and breast milk.
•   Acquirer of diapers, groceries, weather-appropriate clothing, goodies, Halloween costumes, picnic gear, framed family photographs, birthday cards, bibs, etc.

Proficiencies:

•   Strong organizational and management skills.
•   Excellent negotiator.
•   High ethical standards, tact, and diplomacy skills.
•   Ability to stay calm under immense pressure.
•   Spousal delegation (goes hand-in-hand with spousal trust).
•   Promptness, reliability, and sound judgment.
•   Handiness with a variety of tools (including, but not limited to, screwdriver, sewing needle, neti pot, can-opener, beer-opener, martini-shaker, remote control, eyelash curler).
•   Stain-removal.
•   Capacity to execute full lifecycle of projects (renovations, mending, potty training, etc.) with budgetary guidelines and timely delivery.
•   Ability to manage budget, with cost-saving measures: Must be comfortable with coupon-clipping and market (discount) research.

Compensation & benefits package:

•   (At least) one half-hour per day of “absolute alone time”, to be used at my discretion. As infant boy grows, so, too, shall this “absolute alone time”. Goal: Five hours per week.
•   I’m not asking much, am I? Okay, fine…
•   Spouse is allowed similar weekly benefit.
•   Parenting approach supported and uplifted by spouse.
•   Required family mealtime supported and uplifted by spouse and children.
•   Annual (solo) weekend road trip (to destination of choice).
•   Gratitude offered (by male bodies) in regards to motherly tasks and subsequent sacrifice.
•   Complete ownership of one bathroom.
•   Unconditional love and respect.

Additional terms:

•   Quarterly evaluation to be executed by spouse/baby-daddy/roommate
•   High marks guarantee choice of:
•   Date night, complete with two hours (left alone) for appearance preparation; at least (1) new piece of flair to showcase;          dinner and/or special event; dessert; flirting; attentive affection.
•   Night off, to do whatever-the-hell-I-want, no questions asked.
•   Both choices include “morning-after support”, so that Motherboard can recover from the previous evening’s “reboot).

At some point during the (give or take) thirty hours of driving from beach to beach, I told my husband I needed to feel more significant as the caretaker and chief instructor for his children. “What do you want, a trophy?” he asked. Well, yes. Now that you say that…

About LK:

Magic City maven Laura Kate Whitney is a full-blooded Southerner who’s found herself planting roots in Sweet Home Alabama. Life circumstances have brought her to Birmingham, along with husband, two young sons, and grumpy old cat. In her “free time” she enjoys long walks, long showers, lots of yoga, Birmingham history, culinary programming, and date night. You can follow Laura Kate’s adventures on Magic City Manifesto and also on Twitter.