I think we have all found ourselves standing in front of a mirror and thought-yikes. Bad hair day. Bad skin day. Bad make up day. Bad outfit day. Just a bad day for looking good in any way. I can’t count the number of times I have said all of those things to myself- out loud. There is nothing wrong with having good hygiene and taking care of our bodies- in fact- both of those things are important. But I have become all too aware of the amount of importance I put on appearance since I have had a daughter of my own.

Every morning my daughter Annie (11 months)  sits on the bathroom counter and watches me get ready. She plays with her hairbrush and her little bows, but for the most part she just sits and watches me. One day she picked up one of my make up brushes and rubbed it onto her face. It wasn’t until then that I realized how intently my little girl was watching and listening to me. Every time I said, “Bad hair day” she heard me. Every time I picked and outfit and said, “Nope, that’s ugly” she heard me. Our daughters are hearing our voices blending in with the world’s saying if everything about you isn’t perfect, you’re ugly. As mothers, our voices should be heard above the rest telling them they are unique, and they can be beautiful just by being themselves.

I have shared some of Dr. Robyn Silverman’s tips before, and I am about to do it again! Dr. Silverman is a child/teen development specialist, body image expert, sought-after speaker and award-winning writer and graduated with her PhD from Tufts University’s prestigious applied child/teen development program. She is known for her no-nonsense yet positive approach to helping young people and their families thrive.  Here are 10 tips from her blog on how to create a better attitude about body image for both you and your daughter.

1. Speak with gratitude about your body: Talk about what your body allows you to do instead of how it appears. Love yoga? Softball? Running around after your niece and nephew? Your body allows you to do that.
2. Create a Fat-Talk-Free Zone: Make your home or at least the dinner table your safe haven. Make it a blanket rule. Hang a sign that says “leave your fat-talk at the door.” They are always welcome to pick it up on the way out.
3. Hang around with body positive people: If you always spend time with people who speak badly about their bodies, your body or the neighbor’s body, you will find that your mind goes there too. Let your friends know that you are trying to embrace a more body positive lifestyle and language and spend time with those who support it.
4. Learn your hot buttons and acknowledge them: Is it every time you look at a certain magazine, watch a particular show or spend time with a specific family member that you start to feel dreadful about your body? Notice what sets you off so you can make some changes or at least confront the problem itself. Stop that subscription, turn off the show and stop making lunch dates with that person who makes you feel like you are not enough.
5. Realize where the voice is coming from: Whose voice is it telling you that you need to change your appearance, lose weight or cover that mole on your chin? Sometimes it’s someone in our lives now—other times it’s the voice of an old boyfriend, kid from the 5^th grade or long gone relative. By giving the voice a name, you separate it from your own and can tell it to go fly a kite.
6. Say good-bye to perfect: There is no such thing and yet we chase it. When we let go of the unattainable, we can embrace the person we are rather than focus on what we lack.
7. Exercise to feel good rather than to look a certain way: When we exercise, we reduce stress, get the blood pumping and produce endorphins that make us feel great. You don’t have to do something that bores you! Dance, do a color run with a friend, box or get silly with a favorite child in your life!
8. Do for others: When we volunteer and help others in need, it gives us perspective. There are many more important thing in life that how we look. Do something that touches your heart and gives you a sense of purpose.
9. Be kind to yourself- now: Don’t wait until you lose “the weight!” Buy yourself a nice outfit that makes you feel beautiful. Go out to lunch with a friend. Get a massage! You deserve to be valued now because of who you are.
10.  Be a positive role model: It can be incredibly powerful to imagine yourself holding the hand of a young girl or boy—what would you want them to hear you say? What would you hope they would echo? There are always eyes and ears watching and listening. Be the example you always wish you had.

About Brittney:

Brittany was born and raised in Alabama. She is a Wife and Mama of two sweet babies- her son John is two years old and her daughter Annie is ten months old. She has her degree in Home and Family Studies with an emphasis on Child Development from BYU.

It’s cold. Like, time-for-this-southern-girl-to-consider-moving-further-south, cold.

It only takes a quick scroll through your Facebook feed to see that the weather is pretty much what everyone is talking about so far this New Year, and along with it are stories about how they’re having to deal with pipes that burst thanks to the freezing temps.

Most of you have probably heard and are familiar with the tips we hear about on the news- leaving the water dripping, opening the cabinet doors and if you can, wrap the pipes to insulate them… but do you know what you would do if a pipe in your home actually did burst? I sure wouldn’t know what to do or where to start, so we got some advice from our friends at Stanley Steemer, who offer 24/7 Emergency Water Removal.

Minimize the Damage

If possible, stop the water at its source. (Do you know where your main water valve is?)

Turn off the electricity and remove small electrical devices from the areas with excess water, if it is safe to do so.

Avoid walking on wet carpet.

Remove small furnishings from carpeted areas or place aluminum foil under furniture legs. This helps prevent permanent rust of furniture stains.

Hang draperies and pin up furniture skirts to avoid contact with wet floors.

Remove any breakables, moisture-sensitive and high value items, as well as items that may stain floor coverings. Check under the beds and other furnishings.

Plan for restoration crews to move furniture into dry areas.

Wash your hands after handling damaged items.

Avoid the possibility of electric shock. Do not use home vacuum or shop vacuum to remove the water.

Avoid the temptation to turn on fans or heating and air conditioning units as they may spread
contamination if the situation is sewage-related.

Ok, so you’ve managed to minimize the damage as much as you can on your own, now it’s time to call for back up. Proper extraction and drying techniques help minimize the possibility of secondary damage, potential microbial growth and reduces long term costs. Certification and accreditation are important when considering who to call. You’ll want to find a company who can be there regardless of time or day, these types of housing emergencies don’t happen when it’s convenient for you.

And remember, prevention is always the best, but keep these tips handy in case you need them! Stay Warm everyone!

Stanley Steemer of North Central Alabama services the greater Birmingham Metro Area and surrounding counties, spanning from Cullman to Clanton and from the Mississippi state line to the Georgia state line.

All Stanley Steemer water restoration specialists have Institute of Inspection Cleaning and Restoration Certification (IICRC), the most widely recognized and accepted certification program in the industry. These individuals are highly trained and prepared for any emergency water removal task they encounter. In addition to certification, our technicians attend IICRC-accredited continuing education and training programs throughout the year. We provide the time and money to train our people, and we supply them with the best equipment available.
For more information on their 24/7 Emergency Water Resmoval visit their site

Stanley Steemer provides trained technicians and state-of-the-art equipment you can’t get anywhere else. When flooding occurs, why muddy the waters? Call Stanley Steemer.

Use Code: Mom30 for $30 off any service. (Minimum charges apply)

I’m no “Positive Penny”.  I’m not exactly a pessimist, but I’m not one of those peppy types either.  But this isn’t about me.  Ok, maybe it is.

It’s easy to be negative.  It’s easy to assume the worst in people, rather than find out for yourself.  It’s easy to get down about your day, when it seems that the day is just set to go downhill.  It’s easy to feel overwhelmed and under-joyed when life just keeps on delivering the punches.  And sometimes, sometimes, there are truly terrible things (or itty bitty things) that happen that just warrant a good cry – and I say let it out.

But I’ve come to believe that ordinary, run of the mill negativity is a decision you make.  Just like being positive is a decision.  I decided a while back to be pragmatic about things.  I am realistic about the way something is going.  I respect the situation.  But what I won’t do is focus on the negative.  Focusing on the negative just breeds more negativity.  Focusing on the negative even attracts more, in one way or another.  Negative people, negative situations, negative feelings – they all feed off bad energy, so why feed into it?

Don’t get me wrong, this was no easy task.  It’s easy to take the low road.  It takes hard work to stay positive and avoid negative pitfalls.

I’m certainly no expert on…well, anything.  But I can share what works for me.  Maybe you could share what works for you and maybe between all of us, we can lead more positive, happy lives?

Motivation

Sometimes, I just don’t want to get out of bed.  It’s that simple.  There is no rhyme or reason.  I’d love 5 more minutes after that buzzer – but if I’m honest, sometimes I’d like 5 more hours.  But, the day starts, whether I want it to or not.  On those days that are so hard to get moving, I just MAKE myself – any way I can.  Sometimes it’s with a little bribe – like a trip to my favorite coffee shop if I can get everything going right or sometimes it’s just a “gotta make the donuts” type thing and I just do it because I have to.  But more than anything, I just try to embrace the day that lies in front of me.  I try to be thankful that I have the luxury of 5 more minutes, should I need it.  I try to be grateful that I get to spend the day with two of my favorite people.  I focus on the positive and all of the sudden, that bed isn’t as comfy.

Avoiding Negativity

Sometimes it just makes sense to take a step back and assess a situation.  Most people are good, yet we often assume the worst from some.  Believe the best in people and they’ll often bring that to your table. Surrounding yourself with positive-thinking people brings that out in you.  But be careful, it works the other way too.

Situations can breed negativity too.  We’re all under incredible amounts of stress.  Parenting involves so many of life’s stress triggers – fatigue, money, time-management… It’s easy, really easy, to get frustrated or let a whole day go wrong.  But instead of letting one bad morning turn into a bad day – will the negativity away.  Just say to yourself, “Self, I’m going to have a good day in spite of ___________ (flat tire, unexpected kitchen mess…)”  If you find this hard, just look at the faces of your children, allow yourself to smile and try again.

Be Grateful

I think my turn toward being positive came when I went through a gratitude challenge.  Each day you were guided through one exercise or another toward being grateful.  It changed the way I looked at things.  I approached it with as much honesty and self-awareness as I could because I wanted to get the most out of it that I could.  When all was said and done, I realized that consciously being grateful for the little and big things helped me see the beauty of the world around me – places, relationships, choices…

I continued with my own little challenge by spending 3 minutes (with a timer 😉 just focusing on things for which I’m grateful – little, big, paramount or miniscule.  This little time to myself has become a cherished sliver of my day that I believe pays off in so many ways.

Selflessness

Serving others is an incredible reward.  There are many ways to do this – in fact, you probably do it every day (hello, you’re parents!)  But, looking around you for ways you can help is a way for positive energy to find it’s way back to you. Consider it a kharmic pat on the back, or just a good feeling – whatever you call it, you feel good when you give of yourself to others.  Just do one little selfless thing today and see.

State the Obvious

Do you tell those you care about that you love/admire/respect them enough?  I often get so caught up in my own life that I forget to acknowledge the amazing kindness of those in my life.  Stop and tell your daughter how proud of her you are.  Call your mom and tell her thanks for being there when you were a big P.I.T.A.  Tell your hubby or partner how thankful you are to be with someone so loving and supportive of you.

No Complaining

Start with a goal of one day (or a half a day 😉 – no complaints.  This is a daunting task for anyone but can really change your outlook.  Give it a try.  I dare you.  Double dog dare, actually.

I’m sure there are many more tricks of the trade to manufacturing your own happiness.  I’m sure that some of you out there know the secret to living a satisfied and happy life.  Care to share?  We’d love to hear it!

*This post originally ran on here in 2010 and was contributed by BirminghamMommy co-founder Jamie Bissot, who now lives in Fairhope with her family.

Winter is a beautiful and dangerous time of year. At least once during the season Alabama will get a snow day that immediately wreaks havoc on our roads. Hills, cars, and ice do not mix. Even without the snow we get a lot of rain responsible for accidents. One of my biggest concerns this time of year is car seat safety for my kids. If an accident occurs, I want to make sure that my kids are safe and protected from harm. I decided to do some research on car seat safety and found some habits I did not consider risky in the car.

1. Winter coats and car seats are a dangerous combination. On cold days, we bundle up our kids and warm the car to keep everyone healthy and comfortable. What I didn’t realize is that those puffy jackets and suits that keep them warm are rendering my car seat useless. A big coat under the harness of a car seat makes the harness too loose to be effective and will cause damage to your child in an accident. A good test to see if your child’s coat is too big is to:
   1. Place the child wearing the coat in the car seat and adjust the straps to the proper place.
   2. Remove child without loosening or adjusting the harness.
   3. Place child back inside car seat without the coat and notice the difference. If the straps are loose and not secure then the coat is too big and not safe.
   4. A few ways to solve this issue without freezing your kid is to
      1. remove your child’s coat in the car, strap them in safely and put the coat back on backwards, over their arms
      2. or lay a blanket over your child to keep them warm.
2. If you can bring the car seat inside easily- do it. Most infant seats detach from a base and can be brought inside. Strapping a baby in a seat at room temperature can help them retain their body heat opposed to strapping them into a cold seat that has been in the car for hours.
3. Do not use car seat covers that cover the face in the car. Faces should be out to avoid trapped air and re-breathing. A lot of products sold at the store for car seats are not safe or crash tested. Do some research on any bundling products before using them.

Twice a year my car gets a strip down and deep clean. Usually by the time winter or summer is over my car is so full of filth that it is no longer enjoyable or safe to ride in. My husband and I will take everything out of the car, including seats, to vacuum and wipe down. This is the time I will wash my car seats as well. I learned the hard way that washing a car seat is not as easy as it sounds and putting it back together is like rocket science. Here are some tips to make the process a little less stressful. Because who doesn’t love a clean car?

1. Know how your car seat works. Having the manual (most are online) to guide you is a huge help in knowing what you can take apart and wash and what needs to be hand washed on the seat. Some parts of a car seat come off but shouldn’t – who came up with that? – and by removing them you risk the safety of your kid. Know your car seat.
2. Pay attention to the way it comes apart. There are usually a ton of different buttons and hooks that attach in a certain pattern. If you don’t remember how it fits you will never get them back on right. Taking pictures can help with this part.
3. Wash on a gentle cycle and air dry. This is one of the steps I learned the hard way. I threw my car seat pieces in the washing machine like I would any other washable item and my seat cover came out shredded. It was awful. Now I know to use the gentle cycle and even a garment bag for the car seat. It gets a good cleaning and comes out looking new. The dryer can shrink or misshape the pieces so laying them out to air dry will ensure everything goes back together correctly.
4. Use correct installation when re-installing the car seat in the car. This can be the hardest part because most people do not know how to correctly secure a car seat. The DMV online offers step by step instructions on how to install a car seat correctly for all ages but you can also make an appointment with your local fire department and they will assist you in this process.

Winter is a wonderful time of year and hopefully the above suggestions will bring peace of mind in your travels in the upcoming months.

About Grace:

Grace was born and brought up in Bessemer, Alabama but has a great love for exploring new places. She has been married for 8 years and has 3 kids, expecting number 4 in December. Having been a student off and on for the last 10 years she is excited to say that she is finally graduating from BYU-Idaho with a degree in Marriage and Family Counseling this year. She loves to learn and share what she learns with as many people as possible. Strengthening and encouraging positive relationships with couples and families is a life goal and passion. Her biggest hobby is her family and finding new and fun ways to accomplish the above life goal in her home.