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Parenting with a PhD: Tantrums

Posted on by Angie

By: Kristen Berthiaume

Where is your Tantrum Hot Spot?  You know, the place you go regularly even though it’s guaranteed to cause a meltdown (or several)?  Our is Target.  It probably has something to do with all the red.  Or the giant bullseye logo.  You’d think I’d stop going but…it’s Target.

Most of us are tempted to do whatever it takes to make the tantrum stop: cry, beg, threaten, toss in candy and take cover.  Yes, our inner voice reminds us that giving in will make things worse but, let’s face it, that inner voice is completely obliterated by the yelling, screaming voice of the little person in your shopping cart.

Fortunately, there are some things you can do to make tantrums less likely wherever you go:

Warn your kid.
You’re thinking, “After school, we’ll make a quick grocery run and be home in time to make a healthy dinner.”  Your child is thinking, “After school, I’ll sit on the couch leisurely eating Popsicles and watching the entirety of the Disney Channel line-up until well past my bedtime.”  As unlikely as your kid’s plan is, he’s still going to be frustrated when his expectations are violated.  A quick mention of the grocery run before you drop him off may be enough to keep the peace.  When you get to your destination, there’s more prep to be done.  Let your child know exactly what you will and will not be doing while you’re there.  “We’re here to buy groceries for dinner.  We are not eating M&Ms for dinner.  We will not be buying M&Ms.”  Also, give your child a heads up about expected behavior and consequences.  “We’re going to see Cars 2.  We’ll buy popcorn but no candy.  We won’t be able to go into the theater if you’re screaming because you can’t have candy.”

Always be prepared.
Whether or not you were a Girl Scout, this should be your Mommy Motto.  You know how you feel and act (and how you wish you could act) when you’re hungry or tired.  Kids, especially young kids, have even fewer resources for managing these feelings and are likely to meltdown when basic needs haven’t been met.  Keeping snacks on hand will help to stave off some tantrums.  If you have reason to think your child is more tired than usual (i.e., he stayed up all night eating Popsicles…), minimize the demands you’re placing on him.  Most errands can wait until he’s in a more cooperative state.

Skip the teaching.
You’ve heard of teachable moments?  This isn’t one.  A tantrum is not the time to question your child about her behavior or suggest solutions.  She isn’t going to hear anything you say and certainly won’t remember it.  You’ll have time later when you’re home and everyone is calm to talk about what happened and how to avoid it.  A tantrum needs to be contained quickly before it escalates.  Find a private bathroom or go out to the car for a cool-down period.  Use that time to calm yourself down so you can be most helpful to your child.  Give her space and quiet to get calm.  Don’t coddle, don’t nag, don’t touch (unless it’s for safety reasons).  Give it ten minutes.  If the tantrum isn’t over by then…

Be ready to leave.
If you can’t contain the tantrum, you’ll just need to go.  Yes, it’s inconvenient.  Yes, it may mean returning the next day, leaving a full cart of groceries, making someone else angry.  But, it’s a far better choice than giving in to your child’s demands to stop the tantrum.

The bottom line: Unless you are incredibly lucky, your child will have tantrums.  Don’t beat yourself up.  Later, work together with your child to think of ways to avoid future tantrums.  Whatever you do, stick to the rules and expectations you set up ahead of time and avoid rewarding the tantrum in any way.

About this column:
There are many, many different parenting techniques out there.  Some will work with your children, some will fail miserably.  Chances are, I’ve never met your kid.  I have, however, met a whole lot of other kids, some of them even more hard-headed, whiny, nervous, oppositional, silly, sad, angry, and/or lonely than your kid.  After some trial-and-error, something has worked with these kids and, hopefully, I’ll have ideas for yours, too.

So, you’ve got questions – don’t we all.  Send them my way and I’ll tell you what I can: ksbmail@gmail.com.  If your question is featured, your personal information will be kept confidential.  Put “Birmingham Mommy” in the subject line and ask away.  Next month’s topic: Social Issues.

What if I need more help?
No matter how fantastic a parent you are, some child behaviors are extremely challenging.  This column is not meant to substitute for face-to-face therapy.  If you feel like you’re doing the best you can and still aren’t managing your child’s behavior, it may be time to bring in a professional.  Or two.  Or a whole team of professionals.  Start by talking with your child’s pediatrician and get a referral for therapy from there.  I’ll also provide you with local resources in this column so you’ll know where to go when you’re being driven crazy.

Kristen S. Berthiaume, Ph.D.
Licensed Psychologist

Kristen Berthiaume is a clinical psychologist with Grayson and Associates. She obtained her Ph.D. in clinical psychology from the University of Kentucky.  She completed a predoctoral internship in clinical psychology at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and a post- doctoral fellowship in the Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorders (ADHD) Program at Duke University Medical Center.

She specializes in providing assessment and treatment of children, adolescents, and families dealing with the following issues:
ADHD
learning disorders
social skill deficits
organizational problems
behavioral difficulties
anxiety
depression

She generally focuses on behavioral and cognitive- behavioral techniques, but maintains a flexible approach to therapy..  Her other day job is as mom to her four-year-old daughter and one-year-old son.

10 Pet Peeves of a Mommy

Posted on by Angie

Being a parent is the most exciting job ever.  That doesn’t mean it doesn’t come with a few umm “job pet peeves.” What are yours?

1.  Repeating myself.  How many times do I have to say it?! (Including the husband on this one.)

2.  People or kids pretending they don’t hear you.  I always test my kids by saying “cupcake,” then pointing out that they heard that.

3.  Errands.  Enough said.

4.  Stickiness.  Anywhere.

5.  Scratched DVD’s when ONLY that DVD will do.

6.  Whining, oh the whining.

7.  Stepping on crumbs in every room of your house.

8.  Bathing kids, then watching them rub a popsicle on themselves.

9. Mopping the floors, then watching them drop the popsicle on the clean floors.

10.  Watching your husband drop a popsicle on the floor.

The flip side of course is that your children melt you.  They leave you in a puddle like a popsicle on a clean floor.  Simply looking at your kids can break you down into a sniffly mess of emotions.  All of the pet peeves in the world mean nothing when they smile.

Birmingham Events Calendar: July 17th – 24th

Posted on by Angie

Summer Reading programs may be winding down but there is still plenty to do!

Keeping in the spirit of Ice Cream Month, check out “ice Cream Sunday” going on at the Homewood Public Library. The always popular Roger Day will be at the Hoover Library this week and the Harry Potter Read-A-Thon will be going on at Emmet O’ Neal in Mountain Brook.

Don’t forget Pepper Place, you know you want some fresh fruits and veggies, and this week there will be a special treat if you’re a Potter Fan!

It’s Not Our Fault if Your Kids are Bored!

Sunday July 17th:

Ice Cream Sunday – Homewood Library
July is National Ice Cream Month! So, get out of the heat and have a bit of ice cream on us.
3pm – 5pm

Barts Art Cart – Birmingham Museum of Art
American Flags

Show your patriotism by creating a colorful flag with Bart! The Museum offers a fun and free drop-in art program for kids and families! Visit Bart’s Art Cart in the main lobby to explore great art and create some art of your own with the help of our Teen Volunteers. Each month highlights a different gallery and features a new art activity. Learn how to look at art with your child. Stop by and make art with Bart!
1pm

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Monday July 18th:

Movie Matinee – North Shelby Library
Despicable Me
All Ages. Snacks Served. No
Registration Required.

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Tuesday July 19th:

Indian Dance with Pia Sen– Homewood Public Library
We are very excited to have founder and director of the dance group Notinee, Pia Sen, demonstrate traditional Indian dance for us. Prepared to be wowed
10:30pm

Summer Reading Finale, Roger Day– Hoover Public Library
The ultra-popular Roger Day is back with a jam-packed musical concert that encourages kids to SING LOUD, JUMP HIGH and DREAM BIG in the Library Theatre!
10:30am, 1:30pm and 6:30pm

Storytelling with Balloons – Bessemer Library
Dewayne Reynolds will dazzle everyone with his unique storytelling style using balloons as costumes and story props. This storytime is full of fun, interaction, and laughs!
11am

World Tales – Emmet O’Neal Library
Hobey Ford and his Goldenrod Puppets present “World Tales.”
All ages. No registration required.
10:30 am and 3:30 pm.

Free or Discounted Movies
Amstart Alabaster – Shrek 3
Rave, Lee Branch & Patton Creek – Gulliver’s Travels
Regal Trussville – Gulliver’s Travel  and How to Train your Dragon
Edge 12 – Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius – Night at the Museum

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Wednesday July 20th:

Summer Reading Finale, Roger Day – Hoover Public Library
The ultra-popular Roger Day is back with a jam-packed musical concert that encourages kids to SING LOUD, JUMP HIGH and DREAM BIG in the Library Theatre!
10:30am and 1:30pm

Storytime Science – McWane
Don’t miss this incredible opportunity for your early learner to experience science through literature. Enjoy an enriching story coupled with an intriguing science concept that is sure to spark the curiosity of your child.
COST: Included in cost of admission to the museum, FREE for members
10:30am

Wild Wednesdays – McWane Science Center
Included in the cost of admission to the museum, FREE for members
Bring your little animals for Wild Wednesdays every week this summer. On these special days, your family can take a walk on the wild side and learn about animals from around the world during different programs throughout the day. Join us for the daily line up of educational programs and then roam through the museum in between programs.

PROGRAM SCHEDULE:
10:30 AM: WILD ABOUT ART
(Recommended for ages Kindergarten and younger)
11:30 AM: Science on the WILD side
1:30 PM: Gulf Tank Feeding in the Aquarium
3:30 PM: WILD About Animals

Wonderful Wednesday Storytime – Barnes and Noble Summit
Walter the Farting Dog is at it again, and he smells worse than before. Can you guess why he’s banned from the beach? Afterwards, we can play in our Toys and Games Department and create some arts and crafts.
11am

Family Story Time with Mr Mac – North Shelby Library
Storyteller Extraordinaire – Come join Mr Mac and his musical storytime complete with puppets! All Ages, no registration required.
10:45am

Free or Discounted Movies
Amstart Alabaster – Shrek 3
Rave, Lee Branch & Patton Creek – Gulliver’s Travels
Regal Trussville – Gulliver’s Travel  and How to Train your Dragon
Edge 12 – Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius – Night at the Museum

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Thursday July 21st:

Summer Reading Finale, Roger Day – Hoover Public Library
The ultra-popular Roger Day is back with a jam-packed musical concert that encourages kids to SING LOUD, JUMP HIGH and DREAM BIG in the Library Theatre!
10:30am and 1:30pm

Thursday at the Plaza – Hoover Public Library
Make music with drummer John Scalici in a community-wide “jam session.” Instruments provided! Free fun for the whole family!
6:30pm

Free and Discounted Movies
Carmike Summit – Monsters V. Aliens

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Friday July 22nd:

Harry Potter Read a Thon – Emmet O’Neal Library
6 AM — Harry Potter Read-a-Thon begins with two men appearing out of nowhere, a few yards apart in a narrow, moonlit lane.

6-8 PM — Hogwarts Food and Craft Fair. Free booths and craft tables, including a butterbeer stand and a wand-making booth.

Wild About Books Storytime – Birmingham Zoo
Join us for story and craft time with Books-A-Million at the Birmingham Zoo!  Every Friday through summer on Grandma’s Front Porch in the Children’s Zoo. We’ll talk about sheep, turtles, elephants, parrots; and we might even get a visit with a few of our furry friends!
10am

Free or Discounted Movies
Homewood Park – Chicken Run
Helena Amphitheater – Megamind

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Saturday July 23rd:

Harry Potter Read A Thon – Pepper Place
10 AM-noon — Read-a-thon participants will apparate to the Pepper Place Saturday Market for special reading appearances by Harry, Hermione, Dumbledore, McGonagall and others.

Rhino Day – Birmingham Zoo
Did you know that Rhinos have existed on Earth for more than 50 million years? Visit the Zoo from 10:00am to 4:00pm for Rhino Day to learn all about these fascinating animals. Say “hello” to the White Rhinos in the Zoo’s newest exhibit, Trails of Africa, get interesting and in-depth information on the species during Keeper Chats, and be sure to join in on the many games and activities scheduled throughout the day. The White Rhino is currently under the threat of extinction. Come to the Zoo to help raise awareness about this species.

Member Alliance Day
As a way of saying thanks to current members and supporters of arts and culture in the Birmingham region, area organizations have planned a special members-only day of free admission and family-friendly activities. One valid membership card and/or postcard invitation admits 2 adults and up to 4 children into absolutely any and every participating venue all day long. Plus enjoy special Member Day activities and performances throughout the day.
Click Here for more information and a list of events and participating organizations.

Nature Scavenger Hunt – Oak Mountain State Park
Come look for things in nature on this fun filled nature scavenger hunt.  Meeting place at the Treetop Nature Trail.
10am

Matinee – Alabama Theatre
Aliens in the Attic
$7 adults$6 sr. citizens and children under 12. Available at the box office 1 hour before show time.

Saturday Market – Pepper Place
7am – Noon

Barts Art Cart – Birmingham Museum of Art
American Flags

Show your patriotism by creating a colorful flag with Bart! The Museum offers a fun and free drop-in art program for kids and families! Visit Bart’s Art Cart in the main lobby to explore great art and create some art of your own with the help of our Teen Volunteers. Each month highlights a different gallery and features a new art activity. Learn how to look at art with your child. Stop by and make art with Bart!
11am

Saturday Storytime– Barnes and Noble Summit
It’s Ladybug Girl and The Bug Squad! by David Soman. She had their whole day planned. But when things don’t go her way, everyone knows who’ll save the day.
11am

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Sunday July 24th:

Harry Potter Read a Thon – Emmet O’ Neal
2:30 PM — Harry Potter Read-a-Thon ends with last pages read by mystery reader who shall not be named.

2:30-3 PM — Prizes awarded for top fundraising individual and team, best costumes and reading performance.

Barts Art Cart – Birmingham Museum of Art
American Flags

Show your patriotism by creating a colorful flag with Bart! The Museum offers a fun and free drop-in art program for kids and families! Visit Bart’s Art Cart in the main lobby to explore great art and create some art of your own with the help of our Teen Volunteers. Each month highlights a different gallery and features a new art activity. Learn how to look at art with your child. Stop by and make art with Bart!
1pm

Barts Books – Birmingham Museum of Art
Fritz and the Beautiful Horses
Fritz is not beautiful like the other ponies and proves that there are things more important than looks to the citizens of his town.
Bart the Art Bat selects one book each month about art that he think 4-7 year olds will enjoy. The storytellers are often our favorite teachers from local schools. “Bart’s Books’ takes place at 11 AM

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Local Attractions Open Daily!

McWane Science Center:

Imagination Lab – This summer, McWane Science Center invites you to discover the power of your imagination in a collection of new exhibits called The Imagination Lab.

Dive right into the Bubble Room where you can discover the science of suds when you step inside a giant bubble. Try your hand at making all kinds of bubbles in this unique area including square and triangular bubbles.

The Imagination Lab’s zip line offers an exciting experience for adventure seekers of any age. Parents and children alike can fly through the air on the new zip line and have a safe landing at the end of the line! Learning lurks around every turn inside a giant maze in the exhibit as you find your way around dead ends and wrong turns. With a few lessons learned, you will find your way to the end in no time.

The new Imagination Lab also features a Messy Art Studio. Splatter paint, mix colors and experiment with a variety of materials to create masterpieces of your imagination.

Inside the lab you can use giant foam building blocks to construct forts, tall towers, and more.

Eat Well, Play Well – What is in the food we eat? Are fruits and vegetables important? Can everyday activities burn calories? Visitors will find the answers to these questions by exploring nutrition and fitness in this summer’s traveling exhibit called Eat Well, Play Well. This highly-interactive exhibit encourage healthy living by teaching the science of making healthy-food choices and helping children and adults discover that there are many fun and interesting ways to stay active. Visitors will discover what an appropriate serving size looks like, see first hand what it takes to burn off calories, test their flexibility and balance, review the latest clinical research and realize that they can reduce their risk of disease with healthy choices that are within their reach!

Birmingham Zoo:

Lorikeet Aviary – Our Lorikeet Aviary has more birds than ever! Zoo guests can feed these exotic birds every day. You and your family will see these birds’ behavior as they eat nectar out of your hand.
Weekends 10:00 am – 4:00 pm

PELICAN FEEDING – A great way to see our pelicans in action is to witness them eating their favorite treats near the pelican boardwalk.

RHINO ENCOUNTER – Embark on an African adventure and experience one of the world’s most extraordinary animals, the Southern White Rhino. Watch from only feet away as our zookeepers engage in hands-on interaction with the animals inside their African-themed exhibit. Don’t miss this exciting encounter with one of the largest mammals on the planet!
Weekdays: 3pm – 3:30pm
Weekends: 11:30am – Noon & 3pm – 3:30 pm

GIRAFFE FEEDING – This up close and personal animal encounter is a memory you and your family will have for a lifetime.
Weekday: 11am – Noon
Weekends: 10am – 11am  & 2pm – 3pm

Vulcan Park and Museum:

Vulcan is the world’s largest cast iron statue; made of 100,000 pounds of iron and 56 feet tall, he stands at the top of Red Mountain overlooking the city of Birmingham. But, Vulcan is more than a statue. Vulcan Park and Museum features spectacular views of Birmingham, an interactive history museum that examines Vulcan and Birmingham’s story, and a beautiful public park for visitors and locals to enjoy. With an official information center that is operated by the Greater Birmingham Convention and Visitors Bureau, Vulcan Park and Museum serves as the first stop for visitors to the Birmingham area!

Railroad Park:

Railroad Park is a 19 acre green space in downtown Birmingham that celebrates the industrial and artistic heritage of our great city. Situated along 1st Avenue South, between 14th and 18th Streets, the park is a joint effort between the City of Birmingham and the Railroad Park Foundation. Hailed as “Birmingham’s Living Room,” Railroad Park provides a historically rich venue for local recreation, family activities, concerts, and cultural events, while connecting Birmingham’s downtown area with Southside and UAB’s campus.

Southern Museum of Flight:

Earn Your Wings – Bring your little pilot and soar above the clouds in our little pilots room. Kids enjoy building aircrafts, flying kites, and more.
Museum Open Tuesday – Thursday
9:30am – 4:30pm

Do you have or know of an event you would like to have added to our weekly calendar? Please email us at contact@birminghammommy.com, subject line “Events Calendar” – We would love to hear from you!

** All information listed on our calendar is subject to change without notice to us or you… We do our best to keep the information accurate and will always update as soon as we learn that something has changed. It’s always best to double check with the event via their website or a quick call,  especially when weather can impact the event.

Beat the stress of school starting and the holidays by planning now

Posted on by Angie

July is here, we’re more than halfway through the year.  Now is the time to get ahead of the game for the last half of the year. So much happens in the fall and winter- school, Halloween, football, the holidays… Start preparing now and ease your stress level.  Here are a few suggestions that will help you:

  1. School- Get your back to school plan in place now. Lists are your friends- make a budget and a list of the clothes and supplies each child will need and stick to your list. Sticking to your list will prevent you from spending too much and from stressing over knowing if you’re done. Start shopping one season ahead, hit the end of summer sales to purchase clothes for next spring/summer.
  2. Family calendar- Get a family calendar this is large and monthly.  Put it in your kitchen (or your most lived in room) and start filling it with important dates as they come in.  Mark dates for important things such as Halloween, but include a deadline date for prepping—the week before Halloween designate a date for purchasing party supplies and costumes.
  3. Budget and save for holiday shopping.  List out everyone you need to shop for, don’t forget to include teachers.  Set a dollar amount for each person and add up the total you need. Try to list ideas for gifts so you know what items you’ll need to buy.  Watch out for daily deals- sites like BigBham.com offer deep discounts on gift certificates.  If you were planning to purchase a bike for your son, you may see a 50% off gift certificate that you can use and save even more money.

Don’t forget our list of ways to ease the holiday stress by planning now. It’s not too late to implement some of these ideas.

Working Mommy Madness: Staying Connected

Posted on by Angie

By Harmony Hobbs:

I’ve been asked by moms who stay at home, “how do you stay connected with your son while you are away during the day?”

I thought it would be easy to answer that question.

It’s not.

By “away” they apparently mean during my 45 minute commute, 8 hour workday, and 45 minute commute back to my suburb. Just for the record, my commute would only be 15 minutes if they would finish up that damn construction on I-65. When I added up that time, it shocked me. I’m away from my son a LOT. I try not to think about it, but when it’s right there on paper … I have to face it. I’m choosing to blame the Alabama Department of Transportation. Get it together people. We have laundry to get home to.

When I first returned to work after a 4-month maternity leave, I was heartbroken. I put pictures of my little boy all over my cubicle and fought against the urge to call and check on him hourly. The only thing that stopped me from doing that was the fear of becoming “that” mom. The one who calls hourly.

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: I’m honestly not very good at working motherhood. I WANT to be. But I’m not. I don’t think anyone is. This sunk in after recently reading Tina Fey’s book, Bossypants. Tina, the patron saint of working mothers, has everything a mom would need at her disposal and still barely holds herself together . We’re all doing the impossible. How we do it remains a mystery to me – and I’m several years into this gig.

Anyway, over time my family has adjusted and settled into a comfortable pattern. I trust our daycare and I feel good about sending my child there. I don’t worry about him all day, because I know I don’t have to. They call every time he gets a bump or bruise and that extra effort on their part makes me feel better. I make my husband drop him off, because I still hate doing that. But otherwise, I’m good.

But … connected? Staying connected to my kid during the day? What kind of mother am I, that I can’t come up with an answer to that question?! I have his pictures up. I think about him all day long. He is always present in my mind, lingering back there, behind the pressure of my workload and really bitchy people. He’s the oasis that I drift to when I feel like I. HAVE. HAD. IT. Thinking about him saying the word “vagina” in his screechy little preschool voice makes me able to face life again.

I’ve read many articles on working mother websites that offer advice on how to maintain a level of sanity whilst coping with a work/life balance (read: the impossible), and I find almost none of them helpful. I cannot offer a list of “tips and tricks” to any of you in this department, unless you want to teach your child to say the word “vagina” really loudly so you can think about it later and laugh.

All I can say is, I am connected with my child in my heart and in my soul. He is always with me and I am always with him, every day. Any mother understands the bond I’m speaking of … it’s too profound to put into words. To say that our arrangement is ideal would be a lie, but he is bright and well-adjusted so something seems to be going right.

Am I missing something here? Is there a magical answer I’ve somehow overlooked? How do the rest of you stay connected?

About Harmony:

Harmony blew into Birmingham after Hurricane Katrina and is a self-proclaimed “never home maker” striving for a balance between her career and family life. Visit her blog Working Mommy Madness to read more!

Mommy Voices: Mothers Who Murder, and the Casey Anthony Verdict

Posted on by Angie

Shock and frustration are what many parents felt last week after learning the not guilty verdict in the Casey Anthony murder trial. Casey Anthony, a 25-year-old Florida mother was accused of the 2008 murder of her 2-year-old daughter, Caylee. Casey Anthony spent the last two years and nine months in jail awaiting her trial as prosecutors worked to build a case against her. Her arrest in October of 2008 came on the heels of her admittance to not knowing the whereabouts of Caylee for quite some time, in addition to a string of lies Anthony fed police about her own possible involvement. Since then, the young mother has been portrayed as a somewhat selfish party girl anxious to return to a life with more fun, and less responsibility—a life without her daughter.

Aside from the images of Casey Anthony drawn by prosecutors and media, her own bizarre behavior somehow seemed evidence enough to brand her guilty of…well, something anyhow. The conjured up nanny (more from the bottomless pit of lies), the nights spent partying while Caylee was apparently missing, and the self-centered, cold demeanor she exhibited in the days following her revealing Caylee as missing. Yet, as we all know, telling lies and making poor decisions doesn’t necessarily mean Anthony was capable of murder. However, the many other odd coincidences do speak volumes, such as not telling anyone her daughter was missing for FOUR weeks, evidence of Caylee’s hair found in the trunk of her car, the horrific and death-like odor emerging from that same vehicle, and finally, the discovery of little Caylee’s badly decomposed body—less than half a mile from the Anthony home. I’m not one to usually judge based on circumstantial evidence, but wow, Casey, how could you NOT be involved in this horrific crime?

As the mother of two small children, one, a daughter the same age as Caylee, I’ve found it especially difficult to follow this story and learn of the brutal manner in which a beautiful, innocent 2-year-old died. I would guess that almost every parent reading this feels the same way. We know of that bond that exists between ourselves and our children, and we know that we’ll do nothing to break it, or extinguish it—no matter how bad life can get. Perhaps that is why so many of us have been so drawn to the details and the emotions associated with the Casey Anthony trial—we simply can’t fathom the idea that a mother who should have shared that same bond with her own daughter might be capable of murdering her. It’s true that every parent experiences the overwhelming and often intense emotions associated with parenting. Maybe once we wanted to walk away from our child when he threw an embarrassing tantrum at the grocery store, or maybe we’ve been angry enough to scream as we discovered red crayon smeared across an entire bedroom wall. Most of us can recall an instance or two when we’ve temporarily lost it, but because of that bond I mentioned, most often we take a few deep breaths, collect our wits, and deal accordingly with the issue at hand. We don’t murder our children.

Yet among us, there are those who just aren’t capable of handling the stresses, or the pressures of parenting, and there are also those who just don’t want the added responsibility of children. There are those mothers who, simply put, do murder their children. In fact, according to the American Anthropological Association about 200 mothers kill their children in the United States each year, and a shocking three to five children are killed every day by their parents or other relatives. The logic in me insists that for a parent to be capable of murdering their own child, they must be suffering from extreme and uncharacteristic behavior or some kind of untreated mental illness. Or, they must have experienced severe trauma of their own, and have deep rooted (and again, untreated) relating issues. Then there are illogical explanations where a mother just may want more uninterrupted time with her boyfriend, or to not have to pay a babysitter while she is out participating in hot body contests. Maybe, just maybe.

As the Casey Anthony trial wrapped up and presented a not guilty verdict, it became more and more evident that this case, this tragedy, is far from being over. The fact of the matter is that two-year-old Caylee Anthony died in some terrible way, and more likely then not, she died at the hands of someone she knew, someone she trusted, and someone who most likely loved her. Jennifer Ford is one of the few jury members who has opted to speak openly about the final verdict in the Casey Anothony’s murder trial. “I did not say she was innocent,” she said. “I just said there was not enough evidence.”

Somewhere out there, there is someone who knows the whole truth about Caylee Anthony’s story, about her tragic death. How unforgivable would it be if that someone is the one person who should have protected Caylee against anything bad in this world, the one person who was also found not guilty in her death, and the one person who is about to walk free.

About Kate:

Kate, a freelance writer and mother of two, most often finds creative inspiration in writing, but occasionally at the bottom of an empty wine glass. She has hijacked her family’s former lifestyle and is in the midst of creating a simpler and greener approach to life. To follow her family’s challenges and successes in this endeavor, visit her blog, at Kate’s Musings. She and her family have lived in Birmingham since 2009.

GenB's Mommy Style Makeover Contest

Posted on by Angie

Contest is now CLOSED, winners will be announced soon!

Brookwood Medical Center and GenB.com present:   “Mommy Style Makeover Contest”

Every Mommy has her own style. Maybe you keep your kids in touch with their planet. Or every time you leave the house, you’re ready to walk the runway. No matter your style, every mom deserves a little pampering.

Join us for a fun online contest where you can discover your style and enter for a chance to win one of four mommy makeovers, complete with fab new clothes, styling, and a photo session from one of Birmingham’s most popular photographers!  Just think… the person who is normally taking the pictures will finally have a great picture of themselves!

Each of the 4 moms will win:

Mommy Style photo session with Amanda Traywick Photography (Aug 17, 2011 session date). Also includes FREE disc with images.

Styling from Molly Green, an eco chic boutique, plus $100 gift card to purchase something for your style!

Hair and makeup from T. Fox Salon!

And for your family… you’ll win:

FREE family session with Amanda Traywick Photography (Aug 27, 2011 session date) AND a 16×20 mounted print

Contest runs from 7/11/11-7/28/11, Winners must redeem the MommyStyle photo session August 17th, 2011.

To enter:

1. Visit GenB.com and take the “MommyStyle Quiz.”
2. Post your results on Brookwood Medical Center’s Facebook page.

For additional entries:

3. Tweet “What’s your Mommy Style? Find out at genB.com @BrookwoodMed”
4. If you’d like a mail-in entry form, email contact@birminghammommy.com with your address.

While you’re over at genB.com, check out the other fun features available. We love the radio stations, especially “Tiny Tunes” and “Party on the Potty.” And, the Community Blog is growing each day with lots of great information on topics just for women.

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Birmingham Events Calendar: July 10th – 17th

Posted on by Angie

Looks like another hot week here in Birmingham! Keep the kiddos busy this week with some of these great activities going on around town!

The libraries still have plenty of summer activities going on and you’ll want to make sure to check out the Potter Party going on at the Hoover Library on Friday, right on time with the release of the last film!

Saturday brings farmers markets and Fresh Market on the Green will be back at Ross bridge, lot so fruits, veggies and fun!

If you’re a zoo member and you like baseball, check out the Barons game on Wednesday night! Zoo members get it free!

It’s Not Our Fault if Your Kids are Bored!

Sunday July 10th:

Pirate Weekend – McWane Science Center
Set sail for an educational voyage during Pirate Weekend at McWane Science Center. Join our crew as we explore the museum and aquarium on a treasure hunt with fun activities including making pirate hats, eye patches, a compass and even a nautical knot station. As you navigate your way through the aquarium discover an octopus, touch a shark and even see a horseshoe crab up close during exciting programs throughout the weekend.

Dress like a pirate and get $5 admission to the museum. All activities are included in cost of admission to the museum. Free for members. Discount not valid with any other promotions or discounts
12pm – 4pm

Barts Art Cart – Birmingham Museum of Art
American Flags

Show your patriotism by creating a colorful flag with Bart! The Museum offers a fun and free drop-in art program for kids and families! Visit Bart’s Art Cart in the main lobby to explore great art and create some art of your own with the help of our Teen Volunteers. Each month highlights a different gallery and features a new art activity. Learn how to look at art with your child. Stop by and make art with Bart!
1pm

Scholastic Chess Club at Books-A-Million Brookwood Village
In our upstairs Kids Nook.  Beginners are welcome, lessons
available, K-12, other mind sport activities are available such as
checkers and GO.  Free to attend!
2PM – 5PM

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Monday July 11th:

Monday Movie – Homewood Library
Join us for a fun flick and a tasty treat!
3pm

Movie Matinee – North Shelby Library
Go see Tangled!
All Ages. Snacks Served. No
Registration Required.

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Tuesday July 12th:

Safari Greg– Homewood Public Library
Experience for yourself the wild and wacky world of Safari Greg! Combining magic, comedy and a wide array of animal friends he creates a fun–filled program that can only be described as a must see experience for all ages
6:30pm

World of Magic: Arthur Atsma – Emmet O’Neal LIbrary
AtsMagic is back with a hilarious magic show by Arthur Atsma!
10:30 am and 3:30 pm. All ages. No registration required.

Madcap Puppets – Hoover Public Library
Madcap Puppets presents Giants! in the Library Theatre.  Jack is back in this sequel to the famous fairy tale!  In this surprise-packed audience favorite, you will enter a world of towering tales where each giant is bigger than the last!
10:30am, 1:30pm and 6:30pm

Free or Discounted Movies
Amstar Alabaster – Muppets Take Manhattan
Rave, Lee Branch & Patton Creek – The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader
Regal Trussville – Kitt Kittridge and Despicable Me
Edge 12 – Charlotte’s Web, Despicable Me

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Wednesday July 13th:

Zoo Night with the Birmingham Barons
As a benefit to being a member of the Birmingham Zoo. Zoo members will receive a free night of Baron’s baseball and entertainment. Everyone listed on the membership is included, simply present your membership card at the gate and enjoy nine innings of America’s favorite pastime!
7:05pm

Madcap Puppets – Hoover Public Library
Madcap Puppets presents Giants! in the Library Theatre.  Jack is back in this sequel to the famous fairy tale!  In this surprise-packed audience favorite, you will enter a world of towering tales where each giant is bigger than the last!
10:30am and 1:30pm

Storytime Science – McWane
Don’t miss this incredible opportunity for your early learner to experience science through literature. Enjoy an enriching story coupled with an intriguing science concept that is sure to spark the curiosity of your child.
COST: Included in cost of admission to the museum, FREE for members
10:30am

Wild Wednesdays – McWane Science Center
Included in the cost of admission to the museum, FREE for members
Bring your little animals for Wild Wednesdays every week this summer. On these special days, your family can take a walk on the wild side and learn about animals from around the world during different programs throughout the day. Join us for the daily line up of educational programs and then roam through the museum in between programs.

PROGRAM SCHEDULE:
10:30 AM: WILD ABOUT ART
(Recommended for ages Kindergarten and younger)
11:30 AM: Science on the WILD side
1:30 PM: Gulf Tank Feeding in the Aquarium
3:30 PM: WILD About Animals

Wonderful Wednesday Storytime – Barnes and Noble Summit
Aloha! It’s a reading luau with Pig Kahuna by Jennifer Sattler. When two brothers head to the beach for a day of fun in the sun, the waves send to shore a very special gift.
11am

Family Story Time with Mr Mac – North Shelby Library
Storyteller Extraordinaire – Come join Mr Mac and his musical storytime complete with puppets! All Ages, no registration required.
10:45am

Free or Discounted Movies
Amstar Alabaster – Muppets Take Manhattan
Rave, Lee Branch & Patton Creek – The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader
Regal Trussville – Kitt Kittridge and Despicable Me
Edge 12 – Charlotte’s Web, Despicable Me

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Thursday July 14th:

Maynard, Magic and Music– Homewood Public Library
Steve Burgess will be here with his very good friend Maynard. It’s a little bit of magic, a little bit of music, and a whole lot of fun. Don’t miss out!
10:30am

Reptile Library – Adamsville Library (Blackwell Park)
Join us with “The Bittles” at Blackwell Park as they Present a live reptile show. Many nonvenomous and people friendly reptiles that you can pet at the park.
10:30am

My World Storytime  – Hoover Public Library
My Books- Summer storytime for children under four.  In the programming room with Miss Traci and Miss Polly.
10:30am

Free and Discounted Movies
Carmike Summit – MegaMind

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Friday July 15th:

Party with Potter – Hoover Library
Join us as we say farewell to Harry and his friends with one last party in the Wizarding World of the Hoover Public Library.  Open to Potter fans of all ages.
7:00-9:00 pm

Wild About Books Storytime – Birmingham Zoo
Join us for story and craft time with Books-A-Million at the Birmingham Zoo!  Every Friday through summer on Grandma’s Front Porch in the Children’s Zoo. We’ll talk about sheep, turtles, elephants, parrots; and we might even get a visit with a few of our furry friends!
10am

Free or Discounted Movies
Homewood Park – Over the Hedge
Helena Amphitheater – Racing Stripes
Veterans Park Valleydale Road, Hoover – Yogi Bear

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Saturday July 16th:

Storytime on the Mountain – Ruffner Mountain Nature Center
Nature inspires creativity in children by engaging a full range of the senses. During Story Time we will stimulate the imagination by reading themed books about nature, wildlife, and the great outdoors. After the story, we make a craft that reflects the theme of the day. This program encourages a child’s limitless imagination. We will gather in the Tree Top Visitor Center’s Activity Hall for this Story Time adventure.

•$3/ $2 (member) •All children must be accompanied by an adult. •Suited for pre-school age. •Drop-ins welcome.
10am

Matinee – Alabama Theatre
Aquamarine
$7 adults$6 sr. citizens and children under 12.Available at the boxoffice 1 hour before show time.

Saturday Market – Pepper Place
7am – Noon

Fresh Market On the Green – Ross Bridge
Fresh Alabama grown fruits, vegetables, honey, fresh baked goods, coffee café, local artists, kids activity and more!
8am – Noon

Barts Art Cart – Birmingham Museum of Art
American Flags

Show your patriotism by creating a colorful flag with Bart! The Museum offers a fun and free drop-in art program for kids and families! Visit Bart’s Art Cart in the main lobby to explore great art and create some art of your own with the help of our Teen Volunteers. Each month highlights a different gallery and features a new art activity. Learn how to look at art with your child. Stop by and make art with Bart!
11am

Saturday Storytime– Barnes and Noble Summit
Quick, before it gets too hot, learn how to plant in My Garden by Kevin Henkes.This little girl is growing much more than just flowers… come find out. Then afterwards, dig through our new Educational Toys & Games Department.
11am

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Sunday July 17th:

Barts Art Cart – Birmingham Museum of Art
American Flags

Show your patriotism by creating a colorful flag with Bart! The Museum offers a fun and free drop-in art program for kids and families! Visit Bart’s Art Cart in the main lobby to explore great art and create some art of your own with the help of our Teen Volunteers. Each month highlights a different gallery and features a new art activity. Learn how to look at art with your child. Stop by and make art with Bart!
1pm

Barts Books – Birmingham Museum of Art
Fritz and the Beautiful Horses
Fritz is not beautiful like the other ponies and proves that there are things more important than looks to the citizens of his town.
Bart the Art Bat selects one book each month about art that he think 4-7 year olds will enjoy. The storytellers are often our favorite teachers from local schools. “Bart’s Books’ takes place at 11 AM

Scholastic Chess Club at Books-A-Million Brookwood Village
In our upstairs Kids Nook.  Beginners are welcome, lessons
available, K-12, other mind sport activities are available such as
checkers and GO.  Free to attend!
2PM – 5PM

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Local Attractions Open Daily!

McWane Science Center:

Imagination Lab – This summer, McWane Science Center invites you to discover the power of your imagination in a collection of new exhibits called The Imagination Lab.

Dive right into the Bubble Room where you can discover the science of suds when you step inside a giant bubble. Try your hand at making all kinds of bubbles in this unique area including square and triangular bubbles.

The Imagination Lab’s zip line offers an exciting experience for adventure seekers of any age. Parents and children alike can fly through the air on the new zip line and have a safe landing at the end of the line! Learning lurks around every turn inside a giant maze in the exhibit as you find your way around dead ends and wrong turns. With a few lessons learned, you will find your way to the end in no time.

The new Imagination Lab also features a Messy Art Studio. Splatter paint, mix colors and experiment with a variety of materials to create masterpieces of your imagination.

Inside the lab you can use giant foam building blocks to construct forts, tall towers, and more.

Eat Well, Play Well – What is in the food we eat? Are fruits and vegetables important? Can everyday activities burn calories? Visitors will find the answers to these questions by exploring nutrition and fitness in this summer’s traveling exhibit called Eat Well, Play Well. This highly-interactive exhibit encourage healthy living by teaching the science of making healthy-food choices and helping children and adults discover that there are many fun and interesting ways to stay active. Visitors will discover what an appropriate serving size looks like, see first hand what it takes to burn off calories, test their flexibility and balance, review the latest clinical research and realize that they can reduce their risk of disease with healthy choices that are within their reach!

Birmingham Zoo:

Lorikeet Aviary – Our Lorikeet Aviary has more birds than ever! Zoo guests can feed these exotic birds every day. You and your family will see these birds’ behavior as they eat nectar out of your hand.
Weekends 10:00 am – 4:00 pm

PELICAN FEEDING – A great way to see our pelicans in action is to witness them eating their favorite treats near the pelican boardwalk.

RHINO ENCOUNTER – Embark on an African adventure and experience one of the world’s most extraordinary animals, the Southern White Rhino. Watch from only feet away as our zookeepers engage in hands-on interaction with the animals inside their African-themed exhibit. Don’t miss this exciting encounter with one of the largest mammals on the planet!
Weekdays: 3pm – 3:30pm
Weekends: 11:30am – Noon & 3pm – 3:30 pm

GIRAFFE FEEDING – This up close and personal animal encounter is a memory you and your family will have for a lifetime.
Weekday: 11am – Noon
Weekends: 10am – 11am  & 2pm – 3pm

Vulcan Park and Museum:

Vulcan is the world’s largest cast iron statue; made of 100,000 pounds of iron and 56 feet tall, he stands at the top of Red Mountain overlooking the city of Birmingham. But, Vulcan is more than a statue. Vulcan Park and Museum features spectacular views of Birmingham, an interactive history museum that examines Vulcan and Birmingham’s story, and a beautiful public park for visitors and locals to enjoy. With an official information center that is operated by the Greater Birmingham Convention and Visitors Bureau, Vulcan Park and Museum serves as the first stop for visitors to the Birmingham area!

Railroad Park:

Railroad Park is a 19 acre green space in downtown Birmingham that celebrates the industrial and artistic heritage of our great city. Situated along 1st Avenue South, between 14th and 18th Streets, the park is a joint effort between the City of Birmingham and the Railroad Park Foundation. Hailed as “Birmingham’s Living Room,” Railroad Park provides a historically rich venue for local recreation, family activities, concerts, and cultural events, while connecting Birmingham’s downtown area with Southside and UAB’s campus.

Southern Museum of Flight:

Earn Your Wings – Bring your little pilot and soar above the clouds in our little pilots room. Kids enjoy building aircrafts, flying kites, and more.
Museum Open Tuesday – Thursday
9:30am – 4:30pm

Do you have or know of an event you would like to have added to our weekly calendar? Please email us at contact@birminghammommy.com, subject line “Events Calendar” – We would love to hear from you!

** All information listed on our calendar is subject to change without notice to us or you… We do our best to keep the information accurate and will always update as soon as we learn that something has changed. It’s always best to double check with the event via their website or a quick call,  especially when weather can impact the event.

Multiplicity: Tips and Tricks for Moms with Multiples

Posted on by Angie

Whether you had multiples first, or had a single to practice on before your multiples arrived, raising a set of twins (or more) will always throw you for a loop.

We reached out to our Moms of Multiples community and asked them to share some tips or tricks they’ve learned that make life a little easier, whether it’s traveling, mealtimes or time outs, it’s always nice to get some ideas on how to better handle some of these situations.

I know from the very beginning people offer lots of advice, but one of the most valuable pieces of information I received was to force them onto the same schedule, no matter what. My girls did a little bit of time in the NICU so getting them on the same schedule wasn’t terribly difficult because it was pretty much done for us. Keeping them on that same schedule was fairly easy but did present problems periodically. We managed to push through and just kept in mind how tough life would be if they got off schedule, we would have never gotten sleep.

Vicki Scruggs, Mom to 4 year old identical twin boys suggests a different take on time out… “When both children are fighting over one toy and the fight cannot be resolved by trading or bartering, the toy goes into time out. This is great because they understand the concept of time out. It’s a simple way of resolving a problem until they both can compromise to get the toy out of it time out. If they cannot compromise, the toy will stay in time out forever. We have had a yellow convertible in time out for at least a year, and honestly they have completely forgotten about it.”

If you need some advice on traveling, Alicia Bailey, Mom to 17 month old, Girl/Girl twins offers this tip, ” I divide my list into categories: Feeding, Baby Care, Clothing, and Baby Gear.  Under each heading I list what I will need for the trip.  As my girls grow and their needs change, I edit my list, for instance we no longer use bottles, but take sippy cups instead.  So far, we have taken them on three trips, each 3-5 days and it has worked like a charm.  I also take a copy of the list packed in their bag, so I don’t forget to bring it all back again.”

Mom to 4 year old, Girl/Girl twins, Shirley Lewis agrees with the “feed one, feed both (all)” advice I mentioned above and adds some of her advice about positive reinforcement.. How many times have you heard the term “Double Trouble?” she recommends to not let people scare you when they say things like “I don’t know how you do it.” “Twins are fun, sure they are hard work, but if you keep them on a schedule and form an assembly line of sorts, things will be much easier…”

As your multiples grow so do their personalities and will, they are also busy trying to figure out how to be individuals. Lewis also offers, “Stay out of their arguments. When they argue or bicker at each other, let them work it out. They will start resenting YOU when you try to stop one from being “mean” to the other.  We have no idea how deep their relationship is.. they have to share everything. Bickering at each other is their own way of showing independence from the other… it’s healthy..that is unless they start drawing blood.”

Are you raising multiples? What advice do you have for other Moms looking for tiny little bits of information that might help make life with multiples even a tad bit easier?

Giveaway: Flora Belle Designs

Posted on by Angie

The original fuzzy number birthday shirt!  Flora Belle Designs has 3 fabulous birthday shirts for 3 lucky winners! You will get a custom made shirt for your wee one to wear on their birthday– also makes a great birthday gift.

TO ENTER:
1. Comment here, 1 entry
2. Comment on Flora Belle’s Facebook page, 1 entry
3. Tell a friend! Have a friend comment here that you sent them and you both get an extra entry, unlimited entries.

Contest ends Friday 7/8/11 at midnight CST.

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