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Downton Abbey Support Group

Posted on by Angie

I was late to the game, but when I found Downton Abbey… my life was complete. Hearing the Dowager Countess declare that it was such a pity to waste pudding… brilliant! If you’re a fan, you’ll love a few fun things we found. If you haven’t seen it yet, you must! Amazon Prime offers free showings, or you can go the Netflix route for $7.99 a month. Do it now!

Our friend Rachel at GraspingForObjectivity.com has a severe case of ODD (Obsessive Downton Disorder). She put together some great graphics and discussions over on her blog.

We also loved the faux Facebook pages for the characters- give yourself some time, you’ll be unable to pull yourself away!

Americans may spend too much time sitting in front of televisions and computers, but moms don’t have quite so much free time. We have to find the shows that are worth something and DVR them for that precious hour after the kids go off to bed. For me, those have been Game of Thrones, Downton Abbey, The Walking Dead, and Big Bang Theory. What are your shows that you can’t miss?

March Giving Highlight: Magic Moments

Posted on by Angie

Every year hundreds of children in Alabama are diagnosed with critical illnesses. Once the diagnosis is made, the child’s life, as well as that of the entire family, is completely changed. Nothing is ever the same as it was before as their life, and the family’s routine become consumed with the complexities and worries of dealing with their illness.

At Magic Moments they believe that these are the children who are so deservingly in need of a magic moment. They are the only wish-granting agency devoted exclusively to providing magic moments to Alabama children suffering from life threatening medical conditions. A magic moment allows children and their families to forget, even if just for a little while, the fear and pain of their illness. Many of the families Magic Moments serve have never had a vacation, or even a day off, from the exhausting and frightening reality of hospitals, doctors’ offices and on-going medical procedures.

Founded in 1984 by two Birmingham Moms, Magic Moments has grown from a small, volunteer-only project in Birmingham, to a federally-recognized 501(c) 3 state-wide organization that has provided almost 4,300 magic moments to children in all 67 counties of Alabama. They have a big mission and they complete it with a small staff of only four full-time employees plus a score of committed volunteers dedicated to the children.

Magic Moments’ recipients come from a wide range of socioeconomic, cultural and racial backgrounds and face such life threatening medical conditions as cancer, heart disease, sickle cell disease, brain and spinal cord injuries. Frequently they have a secondary medical condition, often caused by the harsh drugs used to treat their primary illness.  While Magic Moments does not require that the children we serve demonstrate financial need, the sad reality is that many live at or below poverty level. Because the parents of seriously-ill and chronically-ill children frequently struggle with large medical bills and missed work, they are often unable to provide the extras such as computers or family vacations.

A magic moment can provide a seriously ill child the opportunity to laugh and play like a “normal” kid – to experience the everyday joys of childhood that are so often lacking when a child has spent much of his or her life in a hospital bed.

Travel and family vacations are our most common requests.  A vacation allows families time to relax, reconnect, and focus on fun, often for the first time in years. Younger children most often choose to go to Disney World. Older children who may be grasping desperately at an uncertain future sometimes have a very specific dream destination.  Most recently Magic Moments sent a 12 year old girl battling cancer to Fashion Week in New York. Her dream for when she grows up? To be a fashion designer.

The physical toll that a severe illness takes on a child’s appearance can often be overwhelming, especially for teenagers. Frequently, children ask for new clothes and make-up, wigs, or even braces. While those things may seem small, they can make all the difference in the life of a child who desperately wants to be seen as “normal.”  For older children struggling for normalcy and looking desperately towards the future, we have provided tuition assistance for classes and even secured internships at a New York magazine.  Computer systems and shopping sprees for electronics are frequently requested by very ill children, many of whom spend extraordinary amounts of time in and out of hospitals and at doctors’ offices.  For these children, video games and portable electronics such as iPads and gaming devices provide distraction and enable them to keep up with friends and school work.  Other magic moments include gifts of customized playground equipment, adaptive bikes and medical gliders, even a custom fishing pond for a little boy who loves to fish.

Currently they have over 75 children awaiting their magic moment and unfortunately many don’t have the luxury of time to wait. They rely solely on the support of contributors and fundraising events to raise the funds needed to make each one happen.

Our dream, or our magic moment? To provide a magic moment to child in Alabama who is suffering from a life threatening illness – to give them hope and joy at a time when it is needed most.

For the month of March BirminghamMommy.com will be raising money via an e campaign and online auction to grant at least one wish to a child in need. We’ll be introducing you to our sponsored child, Jordan very soon!

Birmingham Events Calendar: March 3rd – March 10th

Posted on by Angie

It’s Moms Rock prep week here at BirminghamMommy and we hope you’ve made plans to attend what is sure to be a great Moms Night out this Thursday! We’ll be honoring some amazing local Moms and hope you can join us to celebrate. If you haven’t already, you can RSVP here.  Lots of other fun stuff going on around Birmingham this week including a LEGO mini build, yoga classes for your teens, and Disney Live will be coming through town on Saturday! Have a great week everyone!

It’s Not Our Fault if Your Kids are Bored!

Sunday March 3rd:

Yoga for Kids. Teens 13+ – Villager Yoga
Yoga is a fun and interactive way for children and teens to build strength, release excess energy and develop a healthy body and body image. Kids tend to lead intense lifestyles due to over-stimulation, academic and social pressures, blended families and busy schedules, all which create stress that can be hard for them to identify and clearly communicate. Our yoga practice provides tools children, teens and families can use to alleviate stress and find calm and balance in a safe, non-competitive environment.

Our sessions follow a loose curriculum through which kids and teens continue to add knowledge of poses, build strength and develop mindfulness with each class. All classes move from warm-up to active play, through mindfulness exercises and closing relaxation. Kids Series require full 8-week registration (one day per week), unless otherwise noted. All classes below are led by Annie Damsky

For Teens 13 & up, Traditional sequencing is introduced in an invigorating format to build strength, balance and flexibility while relieving physical and emotional stress. Mindfulness exercises offer teens exploration of their physical, emotional and mental development, both individually and as a group.

This class is drop-in (not a series), class passes apply
Individual class is $15
5pm

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Monday March 4th:

Monday Movie – Homewood Public Library
All ages welcome. Delicious freshly popped popcorn along with juice will be served to all children in attendance.
3:30pm

Toddler Tales – North Shelby Library
A story program for children and a caregiver. Stories, songs, finger plays and crafts make up a lively program designed especially for short attention spans. Best suited for ages 19 months to 3 years. Must Register
9:30am and 10:30am

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Tuesday March 5th:

Free LEGO Mini Build – Rivercahse Galleria
Sea Turtle
Quantities are limited and offer is good while supplies last only. A new model will be available every month and will be specially themed to that month – ask a Store Associate for details! Models are not for sale and cannot be purchased. One free per child. Event is open to children ages 6 to 14 only. See store for more details.
5pm

Hippo Adventures – Birmingham Museum of Art
Join us for a new in-gallery family experience! Children aged 3 – 8 and their adult companions are invited to join Museum educators to explore Hip, Hippo, Hooray!, discover activities that make looking at art fun and exciting, and create new family memories about art and hippos.

No reservations required. Hippo Adventures are also available by appointment for groups of 10 or more children aged 3 – 8. For more information or to schedule a tour, call 205.254.2964.
10:30am

Storytime – Homewood Public Library
Join us for the best part of your week with stories that make you laugh and songs that make you dance! Join us for the fun of it! All ages welcome. For large groups, a call to 332-6619 is nice.
10:30am

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Wednesday March 6th:

Storytime – Barnes and Noble Summit
Join us as we read Zoe Gets Ready. Each day is full of possibilities, and Zoe wants to be ready for every one. Afterwards, we will make a craft and enjoy something sweet from our Cafe.
11am

Family Story Time with Mr Mac – North Shelby Library
Storyteller Extraordinaire – Come join Mr Mac and his musical storytime complete with puppets! All Ages, no registration required.
10:45am

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Thursday March 7th:

Birmingham Moms Rock 2013 – Cantina Pepperplace
This will be an exciting and fun night out with live music by Justin Gannon, food, prizes, swag, and of course some Rockin’ cocktails! It’s sure to be a great night of fun for you and your Mommy Friends so make plans to join us that night and find out who will be Birmingham’s Most Rockin’ Mom. Our special guest will be one of the Magic City’s most rockin’ moms, Brooke Smith from CBS42. We will also be announcing our upcoming auction to raise funds for Magic Moments- win a great prize and help make a local child’s wish come true.
6:30mpm

Suessabration – Irondale Public Library
Celebrate Dr. Seuss’s birthday at our read across America seussabration! Enjoy some favorite Dr. Seuss tales, make a seussilly craft, play a seek & find games on the big screen. Plus meet our special celebrity guest, Arielle clay from Fox6. And what birthday would be complete without cake?!?!

SNAP: Paper Making – Emmet O’ Neal Library
A hands-on how-to – learn to make your own paper. February 28 from 3:30 – 4:30. Grades 3-6. No registration required.

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Friday March 8th:

Story Day with NeNe – Whole Foods
Join us in the Café for stories, songs, and snacks as Mrs. Renee Schmidt leads the toddler fun.
10am

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Saturday March 9th:

Disney Live Mickey’s Music Festival – BJCC
Mickey Mouse and friends rock the world with the stars from The Little Mermaid, Aladdin and Disney/Pixar’s Toy Story in their new touring show Disney Live! Mickey’s Music Festival. Disney hits are remixed to the hottest sounds of today featuring hip hop, pop, swing, reggae, rock, country and much more! The irresistible lineup of performers, including Mickey, Minnie, Donald and Goofy; Ariel, Segastian and Ursula; Jasmine, Aladdin and Genie; and Woody, Buzz and Jessie; are among the more than 25 Disney stars featured in this jam session fit for the entire family! You can’t resist dancing, singing, playing your air-guitar and laughing with this band of characters! Come join them at Disney Live! Mickey’s Music Festival for a lively concert experience guaranteed to deliver enough rockin’ memories to last a lifetime.
Showtimes 11am and 3pm

$14.00 Ticket + $5.90 Fees = $19.90
$52.00 Ticket + $8.35 Fees = $60.35

Tickets available through Ticketmaster and the BJCC Central Ticket Office. The CTO is open 9-5 daily.

Lowe’s Build and Grow Clinic
Monster Jam is back at Lowe’s this weekend! Be sure to register your child to build the Monster Jam kit featuring Monster Mutt®!
Click to find a Lowe’s near you.
10am

Members Only Twilight Tour – Birmingham Zoo
See the Zoo in a whole new light during this Members Only Twilight Tour. Participants will enjoy an interactive animal show, a fun animal-themed craft or activity, and a ride on the Zoo’s carousel. Don’t forget to bring your flashlight for a one-of-a-kind night tour around the Birmingham Zoo.

For more details or to register, please contact Carrie Brooks at 205.397.3864 or cbrooks@birminghamzoo.com.
6:30pm-9:30pm
$15 per person

*Twilight Tour events are exclusively for Birmingham Zoo members. All children must be five years of age or older and accompanied by an adult. Payment is due upon registration to reserve your space.

Bart’s Art Cart, Hip, Hippo, Hooray – Birmingham Museum of Art
This drop-in art program for kids and families features a different gallery activity each month. Stop by to make art with Bart! Decorate your own animal cup and saucer with a hippo or your favorite animal!
11am

Family Day Holi Festival – Birmingham Museum of Art

The Museum celebrates Holi, the traditional Indian celebration of color! The program will include Indian dance and music as well as art activities, scavenger hunts, henna tattoo, Indian food (provided by Taj India), and lots of color!

11AM // Traditional Indian dance performances by local youth groups

12:30PM // Storytelling

1PM // Professional Indian Dance and Music with performances by The Auburn Indian Music Ensemble, Notinee Indian Dance Group, Sudha Raghuram, Aastha Gandhakwala, Natyanada Dance School and Company, and Nanda Sane Dance Group: Fushion Faction.

2PM // Celebrate Holi as it should be celebrated – with colors!

Family Storytime – Emmet O’Neal Library
Bring the entire family and join Mr. Mac for stories and music each Saturday morning.
10:30 a.m.

Storytime – Barnes and Noble Summit
Join us for Storytime as we read Bears in Beds. We will find out what happens when five little bears in bed hear a noise in the night. We will make a craft and have a treat from the Cafe.
11am

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Sunday March 10th:

Yoga for Kids. Teens 13+ – Villager Yoga
Yoga is a fun and interactive way for children and teens to build strength, release excess energy and develop a healthy body and body image. Kids tend to lead intense lifestyles due to over-stimulation, academic and social pressures, blended families and busy schedules, all which create stress that can be hard for them to identify and clearly communicate. Our yoga practice provides tools children, teens and families can use to alleviate stress and find calm and balance in a safe, non-competitive environment.

Our sessions follow a loose curriculum through which kids and teens continue to add knowledge of poses, build strength and develop mindfulness with each class. All classes move from warm-up to active play, through mindfulness exercises and closing relaxation. Kids Series require full 8-week registration (one day per week), unless otherwise noted. All classes below are led by Annie Damsky

For Teens 13 & up, Traditional sequencing is introduced in an invigorating format to build strength, balance and flexibility while relieving physical and emotional stress. Mindfulness exercises offer teens exploration of their physical, emotional and mental development, both individually and as a group.

This class is drop-in (not a series), class passes apply
Individual class is $15
5pm

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Local Attractions Open Daily!

McWane Science Center:

IMAX
McWane Science Center’s IMAX® Dome Theater puts you in the center of the action by projecting breathtaking quality images onto the 5-story-tall dome screen and delivering intense surround sound through almost 3 tons of speakers and subwoofers.
Now Showing: The Last Reef, Santa and the Snowman, Rocky Mountain Express

The Tornadoes of April 27th – Looking Back — Moving Forward, a new exhibit at McWane Science Center, reflects on the experiences of the April 27th, 2011 storms. The exhibit shares personal stories from those who experienced the devastation of the storms firsthand, while emphasizing the importance of tornado preparedness and explaining the science behind tornadoes.

Photos and stories from The Birmingham News help tell the story of the storms and the affect they had on survivors, volunteers, and the community as a whole. Students from Daniel Payne Middle School also help tell the story of their school and community through photos and artifacts from the storm for the exhibit. UAB students worked with the children from Daniel Payne Middle School to create short documentaries that can be seen in the exhibit as well.

In addition to sharing the personal stories from that day, the goal of this exhibit is to inform the community about how to prepare for extreme weather conditions, explaining the science of tornadoes and stressing awareness.

With vivid displays, the exhibit allows visitors the opportunity to learn about the scientific side of tornadoes. Graphics within the exhibit illustrate tornado formation and anatomy, educating visitors on how such extreme weather conditions develop. Additionally, the exhibit displays statistics and disputes common myths concerning the destructive storms.

Guests can watch live video from the storms that rolled across our state on April 27th, 2011, including the
weather forecasts from that day and actual images of the tornado as it made its way through our area provided by FOX6 WBRC. The exhibit is located in the City Gallery on Level 2 of the museum this summer.

Be Ready Alabama Exhibit Presented by:
The Governor’s Office of Faith-Based and Community Initiatives
www.readyalabama.org

Animal Grossology
Experience a new exhibit that is oozing with science as you meet some of the slimiest and yuckiest creatures on Earth! You’ll never look at the animal kingdom the same way after you see “ANIMAL GROSSOLOGY!”

The Animal Grossology exhibition, based on a popular series of books by science teacher Sylvia Branzei, is an educational experience grounded in the theory that the best way to get kids interested in science is to present it in terms they find most appealing. Let’s face it, topics such as slime, vomit, dookies and other gross stuff are completely fascinating for your average six to 14-year-old.

By physically stepping into the Animal Grossology exhibition, these subjects have become an interactive, larger-than-life biology lesson that harnesses kid’s natural curiosity about themselves and teaches them about how animals function.

Oozing with disgusting science and interactive learning games, the all-new “Animal Grossology” exhibit is sure to provide a unique perspective on the animal kingdom. Museum guests will experience some of the slimiest, stinkiest and downright yuckiest creatures on earth.

The exhibition contains solid science and introduces it in a way that makes kids giggle. It’s science disguised in interactive entertainment and kids are more apt to learn when they’re having fun doing it. You may think leeches are pretty gross but they’re used after some surgeries to assist in the healing process. Did you know that cows are one of the gassiest animals on earth? Learn why the dung beetle is nature’s living pooper scooper and why scientists are studying slug and snail slime production for clues in treating cystic fibrosis.

Animal Grossology is a temporary travelling exhibit created and produced by Advanced Exhibits, a division of Advanced Animations LLC, in collaboration with Sylvia Branzei, the author of the GROSSOLOGY series of books. The books are published through Price Stern Sloan, a member of Penguin (USA) Inc.

Birmingham Zoo:

Lorikeet Aviary – Our Lorikeet Aviary has more birds than ever! Zoo guests can feed these exotic birds every day. You and your family will see these birds’ behavior as they eat nectar out of your hand.
Weekends 10:00 am – 4:00 pm

PELICAN FEEDING – A great way to see our pelicans in action is to witness them eating their favorite treats near the pelican boardwalk.

RHINO ENCOUNTER – Embark on an African adventure and experience one of the world’s most extraordinary animals, the Southern White Rhino. Watch from only feet away as our zookeepers engage in hands-on interaction with the animals inside their African-themed exhibit. Don’t miss this exciting encounter with one of the largest mammals on the planet!
Weekdays: 3pm – 3:30pm
Weekends: 11:30am – Noon & 3pm – 3:30 pm

GIRAFFE FEEDING – This up close and personal animal encounter is a memory you and your family will have for a lifetime.
Weekday: 11am – Noon
Weekends: 10am – 11am  & 2pm – 3pm

Vulcan Park and Museum:

Vulcan is the world’s largest cast iron statue; made of 100,000 pounds of iron and 56 feet tall, he stands at the top of Red Mountain overlooking the city of Birmingham. But, Vulcan is more than a statue. Vulcan Park and Museum features spectacular views of Birmingham, an interactive history museum that examines Vulcan and Birmingham’s story, and a beautiful public park for visitors and locals to enjoy. With an official information center that is operated by the Greater Birmingham Convention and Visitors Bureau, Vulcan Park and Museum serves as the first stop for visitors to the Birmingham area!

Railroad Park:

Railroad Park is a 19 acre green space in downtown Birmingham that celebrates the industrial and artistic heritage of our great city. Situated along 1st Avenue South, between 14th and 18th Streets, the park is a joint effort between the City of Birmingham and the Railroad Park Foundation. Hailed as “Birmingham’s Living Room,” Railroad Park provides a historically rich venue for local recreation, family activities, concerts, and cultural events, while connecting Birmingham’s downtown area with Southside and UAB’s campus.

Southern Museum of Flight:

Earn Your Wings – Bring your little pilot and soar above the clouds in our little pilots room. Kids enjoy building aircrafts, flying kites, and more.
Museum Open Tuesday – Thursday
9:30am – 4:30pm

Do you have or know of an event you would like to have added to our weekly calendar? Please email us at contact@birminghammommy.com, subject line “Events Calendar” – We would love to hear from you!

** All information listed on our calendar is subject to change without notice to us or you… We do our best to keep the information accurate and will always update as soon as we learn that something has changed. It’s always best to double check with the event via their website or a quick call,  especially when weather can impact the event.

An Experiment in Priorities: Stop Cleaning Your House!

Posted on by Angie

For the past 11 months, I have privately conducted my own little experiment. It was more of an inner mission, but my goal was to assign priority numbers to different parts of my life and adhere to them in the correct order. It was pretty simple, but was a reminder I feel I needed. My children’s well-being was of course number 1. My relationship with my husband was also a number 1. Sometimes in day to day life, those number 1’s slip and the more I saw it happen, the more it made me determined to stop it.

Number 2’s were my career and  my relationships outside of family. I have focused heavily on my career for the past year. It has been hard to push fun things to the side and study or work. The other day, I found myself sitting in my car at baseball practice, typing on my computer and reading required readings. I was so proud. Proud that I’m setting an example for my kids and that I’m doing it in a way that doesn’t take away from them. By focusing and making it a priority, things are going great.

Number 3’s were things like housework. Normally, I would put this first. I focused on cleaning and having order. I skipped on playing with my kids or just sitting with my husband so I could sweep. This priority has been the biggest shift I’ve noticed. We’re not living in filth, but it did make things more chaotic to see dirty dishes 2 days in a row. Now for the bright side- the result of me moving this priority to low has been that my kids are starting to take more responsibility and clean up after themselves. My husband sees my 14 hour day and knows that I can’t vacuum. He supports what I’m doing and he’s chipping in more. In a weird way, moving cleaning to the bottom of my list has made our family better and stronger… thereby supporting priority number 1!

I had planned to wait a full year before sharing this, but 11 months has done wonders, so why not!? I finally feel like everyone in my family is getting all of their needs met, but also really enjoying one another and learning how to be a team. Personally, I have no more mommy guilt. I’ve never seen my kids so successful and happy- homework time is fun and I have to make my 7 year old stop reading so he’ll go to bed. We’ve all hit this great level of balance and understanding. This was nothing complicated, just something I set my mind to. Anyone ever done something like this? How’d it go? I want to hear more- I feel like there are so many areas where I can improve, I can’t wait to figure them out.

And in a side note– all of your hard work shouldn’t go unrewarded. I treated myself to a Groupon for housecleaning services!

Moms Rock Finalists!

Posted on by Angie

What an amazing group of ladies!

1. Diane Knight
Diane is one of the most amazing women I have ever met. She has been a Single Mom raising her children, including a son with Autism. She is now married to the love of her life and continues to go to amazing lengths for her son. From special dietary needs, to traveling across the country in search of the best treatments for him, she is always on the go. For her to meet you is for her to accept you as part of her family. She never meets a stranger. She was recently signed up to run the NYC marathon in honor of her son and others with autism. When the hurricane hit and cancelled the run she immediately started searching for another run to compete in because she didn’t want to let anyone down. She is an amazing Woman, Mom and Advocate. She just recently signed up for a 104 mile bike ride from DC to Delaware for Autism Speaks, again honoring her son. The ride is the first of August and this time she will do it with her husband. Tackling it together like they have Autism.

2. Stacy Mitchell
Since her son was diagnosed with Juvenile Diabetes just before his 2nd birthday, she has worked tirelessly to inform about the challenges of Juvenile diabetes, raised money for the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation and has had many meetings with local government officials to increase funding for a cure for this disease. Since the day he was diagnosed she never sat back waiting to be told how to handle the challenges of the disease. She jumped in head first and decided to do everything she could to give him a better quality of life and to make things easier for him as much as she possibly can. I could only hope to find the determination to handle myself in the same way if I were ever to be faced with such challenges.

3. Tiffany Osborne
Tiffany Osborne, despite her own illnesses, tirelessly works full time and works full time in their home. She enjoys cooking each child and her husband their own individual and favorite desserts as well as decorating with hand made crafts on a tight budget. She’s active in the Living Stones Church choir and often performs and even tours as a backup singer with the contemporary Christian group “Just Cause”. She never seems to take anytime for herself, taking on the majority of household duties because her husband is an amputee, but doesn’t complain as long as her family is happy. Tiffany’s goal is to be the kind of mother her late mother Mary was to her…compassionate, loving and attentive. Even when she can barely breathe from health related issues, she’s taking 3 year old William and and 2 year Olivia to the zoo and other church and  educational activities. She really rocks because often her husband is deployed to disasters like, most recently, Hurricane Sandy with the American Red Cross during which time both children had to have tubes inserted in their ears. With no family within 5 hours of Alabama this Mom Rocks.

4. Jami Davis
Jami is incredible. She is single mother of one daughter, Mandy.  Jami lives in Pleasant Grove and was instrumental in the recovery efforts from the moment the tornado touched down and for months thereafter. She not only got out and did immediately recovery/ search and rescue before rescue teams could get there, she opened her heart and door to give immediate compassion and care to her small town and it’s citizens. Last year, Jami was diagnosed with Colorectal Cancer. She has undergone complete reconstructive surgery on her entire lower body. She is currently receiving chemo and radiation. Even with her hair missing, her body in discomfort and her commitment to help others, she remains a beautiful example of what it means to be a mom and rock this world.

5. Laura Stanfield
Laura and I have been dear friends since grade school, so I have a great appreciation for the type of friend, wife, and mother she is.  Laura has a little boy, Wyatt, and she is one of the greatest moms out there. She is so loving and caring, balances life’s challenges and hurdles with so much patience all the while making Wyatt her main focal point!  Laura lost her mom a few years ago and that is something that had a huge impact on her life. Most first-time mothers lean heavily on their moms for advice and counsel, but Laura didn’t have that ability.  Thankfully, Laura is surrounded by so many great female role models and has a huge support group in friends, this wasn’t an issue for her.

6. Suzanne Tullis
Suzanne has three boys that she constantly refers to as “The Sons of Thunder”. Her oldest son is almost 14 years old and was diagnosed with Aspergers when he was very young. I have watched my sister research, fight and most importantly, pray for a son who has major issues. It has become her life’s mission and yet she has never neglected time spent with her other two children. Just recently, she decided to home school Joshua. She is such a beautiful person with a heart of gold and a fabulous, Godly mother.

7. Ashley Bryant
I would like to nominate Ashley Bryant. Although Ashley is a mom-to-be, I know that she will be a fantastic mommy! She eats healthy, exercises, and is very organized. I know all of these traits will carry forth into motherhood. I have no doubt that Ashley, along with her husband Davey, will be fantastic parents. I know that she will cook and process her own baby food to pass on her healty eating habits, take the baby jogging with her, and hand craft lots of fantastic things for the nursery and the baby. I know that Ashley will be the epitome of a rockin’ mom!

8. Stacey Turner
Stacey had her son Declan on May 25th of 2012 and she has managed to make life with a newborn look far easier than it should during this past year. She was able to stay home with Declan over the summer, but returned to work when he turned 3 months old. Each day Stacey goes to work at Alabama Ballet, yet she still manages to give her son all the love and attention he needs. Stacey is involved with several arts nonprofits around town and loves being able to do what she can to help the organizations she volunteers with. Her time with these places is limited from time to time because she really does put her time with Declan first, but I know she has stayed involved because her love of the arts is something she hopes to be able to share with her son, while also giving him a fair dose of love for Alabama football since both she and her husband are UA grads and sports lovers.

9. Jennifer Askins
Jennifer Askins is an amazing single mom.  Her son absolutely comes first in her life.  She is a disciplinarian, as well as a gentle friend to him.  She teaches that 5 year old constantly, and that encompasses many things.  She teaches him to read, to play ball, to be sweet and courteous, as well as compassionate.  She just makes life very special for that special little boy who has totally won her heart, and she still takes time for her family and friends.  Though she is alone as a parent, it never comes through in her attitude and her ways of parenting.  She is my daughter but that is not why I say these things.  I say them because she is a wonderful mom.

10. Anna Marie Lasseter
My real mother passed away 3 years ago this April. I have a step mom though that I could never ask for anything better. She doesn’t have children of her own. But when she married my dad in 2007 she gained twins (me and my brother) and a grandson. She has always supported my family. She has stood by my side when I fought for custody of my son for three years. She never sees the flaws in my life only the positive.   She never puts herself first. If you call her with a problem she flys to get to you.

Pinspired Eats: S'mores Pizza

Posted on by Angie

This is an easy, kid-friendly dessert that adults will love too. I picked this one because it would be easy to take to potluck events, or use it as dessert for family movie night. The kids can make this themselves!

  • 1 (16 1/2 ounce) package pillsbury refrigerated chocolate chip cookie dough
  • 2 cups chocolate chips
  • 2 cups graham crackers, broken in 1 inch pieces
  • 2 cups miniature marshmallows
  • chocolate syrup, for garnish (optional)

Directions:

  1. Spread the softened cookie dough into a lightly greased pizza pan, flattening it to the edges.
  2. Bake at 350 degrees for 8-10 minutes until it begins to brown SLIGHTLY.
  3. Remove the cookie from the oven and sprinkle the top with with the chocolate chips, graham crackers and marshmallows.
  4. Return the cookie to the oven for 5-8 minutes until crust is brown and chips and marshmallows are melted.
  5. Allow to cool slightly before serving.
  6. Garnish with chocolate syrup, if desired

Medical Minute: Incontinence after pregnancy

Posted on by Angie

 

Giving birth is magical, peeing a few drops accidentally… not so much magical! One of the surprising effects of pregnancy can be urinary incontinence. Our pals at Brookwood Medical Center have some tips that can help:

1. Try a schedule. Making a point to relieve yourself at regular intervals every day, even when you don’t have the urge to go, will help keep your bladder empty. And an empty bladder is a happy bladder!

2. Watch your caffeine and alcohol intake. Caffeine in coffee and soft drinks is a diuretic, as is alcohol, which can worsen incontinence. Try to curb your caffeine or alcohol intake to lessen your trips to the ladies’ room.

3. Do your exercises. And we don’t mean hitting the treadmill. Flexing your kegel muscles (the muscles that help control the flow of urine) can strengthen your pelvic floor and make it easier to “hold it” when there’s not a bathroom in sight. Alternately, many women have success using vaginal weights to tighten the muscles in the vagina.

4. Know before you go. If you’re planning a road trip or a night out on the town, be prepared by knowing where available restrooms are so you’re not searching when you have to go.

5. Talk to your doctor. There are medications and medical treatments available for women dealing with incontinence. It’s important to talk with your doctor about options to consider to free you from the restroom.

There are tons more tips like this on ichooseb.com. Head over there. My current favorite is about choosing red foods to create a healthy plate!

Birmingham Events Calendar: February 24th – March 3rd

Posted on by Angie

Spring is so close and you can tell by how the activities around Birmingham are starting to pick up!

If you can only pick one thing to do this week, load your family up and take them to the Exceptional Foundation Chili Cook-Off!! It’s one of our most favorite events every year. Even if the kids don’t like chili, most booths have snacks for them and the best thing is, it benefits the Exceptional Foundation.

Dr Suess has a Birthday and there is no shortage of celebrations going on. If you haven’t signed up for a Spring Break Camp, you might want to do that soon, they’re starting to fill up! You can see a list of camps here.

Have a great week!!

It’s Not Our Fault if Your Kids are Bored!

Sunday February 24th:

LJCC Camp Fair – Levite Jewish Community Center
The Levite Jewish Community Center offers Day Camps, Specialty Camps, and Sport Camps for children ages 18 months – 7th grade.

The LJCC Camp Fair will be held in the N.E. Miles Jewish Day School Gym on the campus of the Levite Jewish Community Center. The Camp Fair will include summer camp registration, specialty camp representatives and details about all camps being offered.

Members and Non-members are welcome at the Camp Fair. Registration for members of the LJCC will begin at the Camp Fair. Non-members may begin registering on April 1. Registration is on a first-come, first-served basis.

Camp LJCC runs weekly from May 28 – August 16. Camps include traditional day camp (Yofi), specialty camps and sport camps.

Some of the specialty/sport camps being offered this summer are

  • FOAC (Fair Oaks Adventure Curriculum)
  • LEGO Robotics
  • Black Out Theatre Camp
  • Kid Fitness
  • Knight School Chess Camp
  • Learning With Animals
  • Magic Camp
  • Icky Sticky Camp
  • Science Extreme Up Close
  • Tennis Camp
  • Lacrosse Camp
  • Mike Getman Soccer Camp
  • Alabama Blue Chips Sports Foundation Basketball Camp
  • Splash Camp
  • Bike Clinic
  • Woodshop 101
  • Circus of the Kids (first time in Birmingham since 2009).

The LJCC has a “camp a la carte” system — register for one week or all twelve. Camps can be mixed and matched with Camp Yofi, Specialty, and Sport camps.

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Monday February 25th:

Monday Movie – Homewood Public Library
All ages welcome. Delicious freshly popped popcorn along with juice will be served to all children in attendance.
3:30pm

Toddler Tales – North Shelby Library
A story program for children and a caregiver. Stories, songs, finger plays and crafts make up a lively program designed especially for short attention spans. Best suited for ages 19 months to 3 years. Must Register
9:30am and 10:30am

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Tuesday February 26th:

Hippo Adventures – Birmingham Museum of Art
Join us for a new in-gallery family experience! Children aged 3 – 8 and their adult companions are invited to join Museum educators to explore Hip, Hippo, Hooray!, discover activities that make looking at art fun and exciting, and create new family memories about art and hippos.

No reservations required. Hippo Adventures are also available by appointment for groups of 10 or more children aged 3 – 8. For more information or to schedule a tour, call 205.254.2964.
10:30am

Storytime – Homewood Public Library
Join us for the best part of your week with stories that make you laugh and songs that make you dance! Join us for the fun of it! All ages welcome. For large groups, a call to 332-6619 is nice.
10:30am

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Wednesday February 27th:

Storytime – Barnes and Noble Summit
Join us as we read Mousetronaut. Meteor is a tiny, hardworking mouse. Will he ever get chosen to go to outer space? Afterwards, we will make a craft and enjoy something sweet from our Cafe.
11am

Family Story Time with Mr Mac – North Shelby Library
Storyteller Extraordinaire – Come join Mr Mac and his musical storytime complete with puppets! All Ages, no registration required.
10:45am

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Thursday February 28th:

SNAP: Paper Making – Emmet O’ Neal Library
A hands-on how-to – learn to make your own paper. February 28 from 3:30 – 4:30. Grades 3-6. No registration required.

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Friday March 1st:

Storytime Yoga – Villager Yoga
Community Yoga Story Time for ages 0 – 3 years

Watch the pages of your favorite story books come alive as yoga poses! Parents asked to participate in engaging children in creative yoga poses with sound and expression!

First and Last Fridays of each month, 12:00 – 12:30 pm

This class is donation based. Suggested $5 minimum

Storytime – Barnes and Noble Summit
Join us for Read Across America events in March. Featuring Cat in the Hat Storytime, fun cat-tivities and treats!
11am

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Saturday March 2nd:

Exceptional Foundation Chili Cookoff – Brookwood Village Parking Lot
The 9th annual Chili Cook Off benefitting the Exceptional Foundation will be held in the Brookwood Village parking lot from 10:30 to 3:00. This is a fun, quirky, outdoor party offering good food and drink and friends at a “come as you are” event. This event has developed a loyal following across a diverse audience base. There seems to be an engaging atmosphere that you can’t quite put your finger on — a unique camaraderie exists amid the tongue in cheek, yet somehow serious, competition between teams who vie for the judges’ and public’s approval in hopes of taking home a trophy for their particular chili recipe. While the sponsors and their teams focus on winning the chili contest, Homewood residents and merchants enjoy a sense of community and pride as more than 7,000 individuals from across the Birmingham area wander to taste chili at one of the year’s first outdoor events listening to live music and enjoying chili.
$10.00 in advance. $15.00 at the gate.

Dr Seuss’s Birthday – McWane Science Center
Celebrate Dr. Seuss’s birthday with special story times and science activities in the museum designed
for early learners.
10am – 4pm
Price included in the cost of admission, free to members

Dr Seuss Storytime – Ruffner Mountain Nature Center
“You’re never too old, too wacky, too wild, to pick up a book and read to a child.” What better way to celebrate Dr. Seuss’s birthday than reading to a child?  Story Times falls on Dr. Seuss’s birthday and we’re commemorating the big day!  Ruffner  Mountain is participating in the National Education Association’s “Read Across  America” event.   Ms. Jerri will read Dr. Seuss’s book, “My Many Colored Days” – a vibrantly illustrated book about moods and feelings.   We’ll make a Seuss craft and celebrate Dr. Seuss’s birthday with a special treat!  First fifteen families receive a free copy of the book, thanks to Target.
10am

A Suesstastical Birthday – Hoover Library
The Cat in the Hat and some of his friends are throwing a 109th birthday bonanza for Dr. Seuss.  Registration going on now.
10:30am

Bart’s Art Cart, Hip, Hippo, Hooray – Birmingham Museum of Art
This drop-in art program for kids and families features a different gallery activity each month. Stop by to make art with Bart! Decorate your own animal cup and saucer with a hippo or your favorite animal!
11am

Hippo Adventures – Birmingham Museum of Art
Join us for a new in-gallery family experience! Children aged 3 – 8 and their adult companions are invited to join Museum educators to explore Hip, Hippo, Hooray!, discover activities that make looking at art fun and exciting, and create new family memories about art and hippos.

No reservations required. Hippo Adventures are also available by appointment for groups of 10 or more children aged 3 – 8. For more information or to schedule a tour, call 205.254.2964.
10:30am

Family Storytime – Emmet O’Neal Library
Bring the entire family and join Mr. Mac for stories and music each Saturday morning.
10:30 a.m.

Storytime – Barnes and Noble Summit
Join us for Storytime as we read Gobble Gobble Crash! It’s so much fun to count chickens and cows. We will make a craft and have a treat from the Cafe.
11am

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Sunday March 3rd:

Holy Inappropriateness! We couldn’t find any special events happening in the ‘Ham today. Make sure to check our list below for fun exhibits happening daily at our local attractions.

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Local Attractions Open Daily!

McWane Science Center:

IMAX
McWane Science Center’s IMAX® Dome Theater puts you in the center of the action by projecting breathtaking quality images onto the 5-story-tall dome screen and delivering intense surround sound through almost 3 tons of speakers and subwoofers.
Now Showing: The Last Reef, Santa and the Snowman, Rocky Mountain Express

The Tornadoes of April 27th – Looking Back — Moving Forward, a new exhibit at McWane Science Center, reflects on the experiences of the April 27th, 2011 storms. The exhibit shares personal stories from those who experienced the devastation of the storms firsthand, while emphasizing the importance of tornado preparedness and explaining the science behind tornadoes.

Photos and stories from The Birmingham News help tell the story of the storms and the affect they had on survivors, volunteers, and the community as a whole. Students from Daniel Payne Middle School also help tell the story of their school and community through photos and artifacts from the storm for the exhibit. UAB students worked with the children from Daniel Payne Middle School to create short documentaries that can be seen in the exhibit as well.

In addition to sharing the personal stories from that day, the goal of this exhibit is to inform the community about how to prepare for extreme weather conditions, explaining the science of tornadoes and stressing awareness.

With vivid displays, the exhibit allows visitors the opportunity to learn about the scientific side of tornadoes. Graphics within the exhibit illustrate tornado formation and anatomy, educating visitors on how such extreme weather conditions develop. Additionally, the exhibit displays statistics and disputes common myths concerning the destructive storms.

Guests can watch live video from the storms that rolled across our state on April 27th, 2011, including the
weather forecasts from that day and actual images of the tornado as it made its way through our area provided by FOX6 WBRC. The exhibit is located in the City Gallery on Level 2 of the museum this summer.

Be Ready Alabama Exhibit Presented by:
The Governor’s Office of Faith-Based and Community Initiatives
www.readyalabama.org

Animal Grossology
Experience a new exhibit that is oozing with science as you meet some of the slimiest and yuckiest creatures on Earth! You’ll never look at the animal kingdom the same way after you see “ANIMAL GROSSOLOGY!”

The Animal Grossology exhibition, based on a popular series of books by science teacher Sylvia Branzei, is an educational experience grounded in the theory that the best way to get kids interested in science is to present it in terms they find most appealing. Let’s face it, topics such as slime, vomit, dookies and other gross stuff are completely fascinating for your average six to 14-year-old.

By physically stepping into the Animal Grossology exhibition, these subjects have become an interactive, larger-than-life biology lesson that harnesses kid’s natural curiosity about themselves and teaches them about how animals function.

Oozing with disgusting science and interactive learning games, the all-new “Animal Grossology” exhibit is sure to provide a unique perspective on the animal kingdom. Museum guests will experience some of the slimiest, stinkiest and downright yuckiest creatures on earth.

The exhibition contains solid science and introduces it in a way that makes kids giggle. It’s science disguised in interactive entertainment and kids are more apt to learn when they’re having fun doing it. You may think leeches are pretty gross but they’re used after some surgeries to assist in the healing process. Did you know that cows are one of the gassiest animals on earth? Learn why the dung beetle is nature’s living pooper scooper and why scientists are studying slug and snail slime production for clues in treating cystic fibrosis.

Animal Grossology is a temporary travelling exhibit created and produced by Advanced Exhibits, a division of Advanced Animations LLC, in collaboration with Sylvia Branzei, the author of the GROSSOLOGY series of books. The books are published through Price Stern Sloan, a member of Penguin (USA) Inc.

Birmingham Zoo:

Lorikeet Aviary – Our Lorikeet Aviary has more birds than ever! Zoo guests can feed these exotic birds every day. You and your family will see these birds’ behavior as they eat nectar out of your hand.
Weekends 10:00 am – 4:00 pm

PELICAN FEEDING – A great way to see our pelicans in action is to witness them eating their favorite treats near the pelican boardwalk.

RHINO ENCOUNTER – Embark on an African adventure and experience one of the world’s most extraordinary animals, the Southern White Rhino. Watch from only feet away as our zookeepers engage in hands-on interaction with the animals inside their African-themed exhibit. Don’t miss this exciting encounter with one of the largest mammals on the planet!
Weekdays: 3pm – 3:30pm
Weekends: 11:30am – Noon & 3pm – 3:30 pm

GIRAFFE FEEDING – This up close and personal animal encounter is a memory you and your family will have for a lifetime.
Weekday: 11am – Noon
Weekends: 10am – 11am  & 2pm – 3pm

Vulcan Park and Museum:

Vulcan is the world’s largest cast iron statue; made of 100,000 pounds of iron and 56 feet tall, he stands at the top of Red Mountain overlooking the city of Birmingham. But, Vulcan is more than a statue. Vulcan Park and Museum features spectacular views of Birmingham, an interactive history museum that examines Vulcan and Birmingham’s story, and a beautiful public park for visitors and locals to enjoy. With an official information center that is operated by the Greater Birmingham Convention and Visitors Bureau, Vulcan Park and Museum serves as the first stop for visitors to the Birmingham area!

Railroad Park:

Railroad Park is a 19 acre green space in downtown Birmingham that celebrates the industrial and artistic heritage of our great city. Situated along 1st Avenue South, between 14th and 18th Streets, the park is a joint effort between the City of Birmingham and the Railroad Park Foundation. Hailed as “Birmingham’s Living Room,” Railroad Park provides a historically rich venue for local recreation, family activities, concerts, and cultural events, while connecting Birmingham’s downtown area with Southside and UAB’s campus.

Southern Museum of Flight:

Earn Your Wings – Bring your little pilot and soar above the clouds in our little pilots room. Kids enjoy building aircrafts, flying kites, and more.
Museum Open Tuesday – Thursday
9:30am – 4:30pm

Do you have or know of an event you would like to have added to our weekly calendar? Please email us at contact@birminghammommy.com, subject line “Events Calendar” – We would love to hear from you!

** All information listed on our calendar is subject to change without notice to us or you… We do our best to keep the information accurate and will always update as soon as we learn that something has changed. It’s always best to double check with the event via their website or a quick call,  especially when weather can impact the event.

Birmingham Area Spring Break Camps: 2013

Posted on by Angie

Alright, Moms! Spring Break is coming and Birmingham has some great camps happening. Lots to choose from no matter what your tiny humans are interested in!

McWane Science Center –

Daily, March 18th – 22nd
Camps Include:

  • 1st rate hands on educational programming
  • ½ day or all day options
  • Mid-morning and mid-afternoon snacks
  • Lunch
  • Before Care for morning sessions 8:00am – 9:00am*
  • After Care for afternoon sessions 5:00pm – 5:30pm (only for afternoon camps)*

*Late pick-ups will be charged a fee of $5 for every five minutes your camper(s) stays after pick up time.  Pick up required by 1:30 for morning camps and 5:30 for afternoon camps

COST:
Full Day
(Morning & Afternoon Sessions):
Members $60, Non-Members $80

Half Day
(Morning OR Afternoon Sessions):
Members $30, Non-Members $40

Reservations:
Reservations Required. Full Payment required at time of registration. Registration Now Open
Click here for a full schedule

Acting Out Academy – Movie Camp

Acting Out Academy teams up with actress and prestigious kid’s acting coach Darcy Martin for a week of film making magic. The camp is one week from 9:30am – 3:00pm (with early and late pick up available.) During the week we will write, cast, and film a short film that will be premiered in a red carpet event on Friday at a REAL movie theater and all our stars will have their own DVD of the film to keep.
March 18th – 22nd and March 25th – 29th
Register HERE

Do It Yourself Crafts

Each class is at 1 in the afternoon, should last about 2 hours, and is a drop-off camp for anyone who is in Kindergarten or older. Classes are $30 with a $5 discounts for siblings or multiple day sign-ups ($30 for first, $25 each additional).

Monday: Monster Plate and Mug; Paint a fun mug and matching plate that is super fun

Tuesday: Clay crosses; Start with clay and make three crosses, using texture and color to decorate

Wednesday: Peace, Love and Glass Fusing! Make a peace sign, a heart and your first initial out of glass – totally groovy!

Thursday: Easter Egg Decorating; Ceramic Eggs will last forever! We’ll decorate six eggs using six different techniques. So much fun!

Friday:“Caps” Bowl; Make a fun bowl perfect for popcorn or  another treat using caps to decorate. Kids love this project!To register for any of these classes, call DIYC at 205-868-4346

Birmingham Zoo –

Full-day camps are available for 4K through 5th grade students!
While attending School Break Camps, campers can experience:

  • Train and/or Carousel Ride (as weather permits)
  • Crafts and Activities
  • Behind-the-Scenes Tours
  • Mid-morning and Mid-afternoon Snacks
  • Live Animal Demonstrations
  • Animal Artifacts (Biofacts)

Click here to register.

Click here for the School Break Camp Information Packet that includes pricing, descriptions and more.

Villager Yoga –

Spring Break Mini Camps
Yoga camps allow kids to find their inner and outer strength, while being creative and expressing themselves. Group exercises and games teach considerate peer interaction and leadership skills in a non-competitive environment. Children will find a calm mind and body and learn self-soothing techniques through mindfulness activities and relaxation. Ages 5-12

Tuesday, March 19, 9:00 – 1:00 pm |Strength and Balance

Wednesday, March 20, 9.00 – 1:00 pm | Calm and Centered

$65 for single day
$115 for both days
Healthy Snack included
Register HERE

Ruffner Mountain Nature Center –

Every day will be filled with activities, art projects, games, and outdoor adventure. K – 5th grade.

Each day of camp is from 9 AM – 3 PM.
$40/day (non-member) $30/day (member).
Extended care is available from 7:30 AM – 9 AM ($5/day) and 3 PM – 5:30 PM ($5/day)

Sign your child up for one day or multiple days. All camps include two snacks. Reserve your spot(s) here.  After reserving your spot(s), please fill out a registration packet and fax, email, mail in, or bring with you on the first day of camp.  After you have reserved your place, you will receive an email confirmation and more details.

Spring Break Camp Day Themes:

March 18 and 27th: Dirt Diggin’
March 19th and 26th: Art and Nature
March 20th: Leap into Spring
March 21st and 28th: Wetland Wonders
March 22nd: Geology Rocks

Birmingham Children’s Theater –

During the Spring Break Intensive, your child will be immersed in theatre for one-week of learning with BCT’s team of experienced professionals and instructors. With a focus on acting, dancing and puppetry, the Spring Break Intensive provides a well-rounded curriculum and builds upon the skills taught during the Fall Workshops Series. Maximum 16 students per class. No audition required.

Meets: Monday-Friday, March 18-22, 2013, in BCT’s BJCC performance spaces.

Class Level Age Meeting Time Tuition
Little Ones Current PreK & K 9:30-12:30am $200
Primary 1st & 2nd Graders 1:00-4:00pm $200
Ensemble 3rd & 4th Graders 9:30am-4:00pm $250
Supporting 5th & 6th Graders 9:30am-4:00pm $250
Principals 7th & 8th Graders 9:30am-4:00pm $250

Registration Deadline: Monday, March 4, 2013

To Register: For Single Enrollment: Click the enroll button next to the appropriate session. Tutition discounts are available when enrolling multiple students in one session. Please call or   E-mail Stephen Pierce at 205-458-8185 to receive tuition discount.

If you think spring got here fast, then you don’t want to hear that summer is just around the corner! Watch for our Summer Camp guide coming soon!!

Parenting with a PhD: House Divided

Posted on by Angie

By Kristen Berthiaume:

No, this isn’t an article on the pain and suffering caused by living in a split Auburn/Alabama household, although I’m sure there are some cases out there of HDSD (House-Divided Stress Disorder). No, you see – it’s February – the month of love. So what better time to talk about divorce? Divorce sucks. Yes, many times it’s for the best, but the process itself is not fun for anyone. Most parents going through a divorce worry a lot about how their kids will handle it. The fact is: it’s going to be tough. Really, really tough. You can’t prevent this completely, no matter what you do so just know that going in. There are ways to lessen the impact such a life-changing transition has on your kids, though. Here are some thoughts:

Wait to talk to your kids about the separation/divorce until you and your former spouse have a plan. Your kids will have questions and, although you don’t need to have all the answers, it’s helpful to offer something. Definitely don’t use the D-word in front of your children because you and your spouse had a major fight and you just think that’s where things are headed. Wait until the adults have talked things through and decided that a separation is inevitable. If at all possible, you and your spouse should talk to your kids about what’s going on together. Be prepared for a variety of responses from anger to relief to sadness to apathy. In many situations, kids will be expecting the news but other times it will come as a complete shock. Try not to take your child’s reaction personally and avoid getting defensive – at least not in front of her.  Be prepared to continue this conversation at another time after your kids have had a chance to process things.

For younger kids, it can be helpful to explain divorce in the context of different kinds of love: the love parents have for their kids and the love parents have for each other. Explain that, sometimes, the love parents feel for each other changes and the parents have too much trouble getting along to live in the same house anymore. Emphasize that the love parents have for their children does NOT go away in divorce and is forever, no matter what. Repeat this over and over and over. If you’re in the unfortunate situation of having a former spouse who has essentially left the family and doesn’t show much interest in maintaining a relationship with your children, you’ll have to modify the above information a bit. Focus on how much you love the kids and how that will never change. Remind them about other adult support they have also from aunts, uncles, grandparents, teachers, etc. If they ask about the other parent’s feelings, try to give a brief answer indicating that he/she loves the kids but may not be showing it in the same ways right now. Focus more on validating your child’s feelings of being abandoned or unloved by the other parent with statements like, “I understand why you feel that way” or “I know that you really miss Dad.” Avoid detailed commentary about your ex’s behavior. Seeing your child hurting is extremely hard but it will only get worse if you give credence to the belief that the other parent doesn’t care – even if you suspect it might be true.

If you can, consider “Collaborative Practice” or “Collaborative Divorce,” which is a way to voluntarily dissolve the marriage without having to go to court. For more information on this method or to find local individuals who practice in this method, check out  Collaborative Practice. To participate in this process, you would work with specially-trained financial, legal, and/or mental health professionals who help you and your former spouse work out the logistics of the divorce, including child custody arrangements, using a cooperative, lower cost method. You’ll consider questions like: Where will the kids live? Who will pay for piano lessons? How will medical decisions be made? This technique works when both parents can be in the same room without excessive anger or resorting to personal attacks. If civility has proven to be impossible in your situation, you’ll probably need to go the typical legal route.

If possible, make an agreement with your former spouse never to argue in front of the kids. Discuss – yes. Fight – no. Of course, they’ll see the occasional disagreement but keep yourselves in check. When things start to get heated, take the conversation into another room or, better yet, discontinue and pick back up when you’re calm. This goes for phone or face-to-face conversations. Make sure your kids can’t access email or texted conversations between you and your ex (although, these aren’t the best ways to have a serious discussion anyway because they make it very difficult to accurately interpret tone and meaning). Along these same lines, avoid bad-mouthing the other parent in front of your child, no matter how much of a ____________(fill in the blank with your choice descriptor) he or she might be. First of all, divorce is an adult issue and children cannot handle all the He Said, She Said adult details.  Secondly, you run the risk of damaging your child’s relationship with his other parent, possibly forever. Third, some kids will see this practice for what it is: an attempt at manipulation. Consequently, your child may start to feel resentment towards you for trying to come between him and his other parent. Fourth, having access to that kind of negative information about someone your child loves can be damaging to him psychologically. Finally, bad-mouthing your former spouse increases the tension in the co-parenting relationship, which is certainly not helpful when you’re trying to work out future problems. If you need to vent, pick up the phone and call your mother/brother/friend/neighbor/therapist but don’t do it in front of your kid. He’s got enough to worry about.

Seek therapy as early as possible in the process. This is an important step even when your kids seem to be handling things well. No matter how well-adjusted your kids may be, divorce is a major life transition so it can’t hurt to have a little assistance through the process. It’s likely you would also benefit from talking with someone – even if you initiated the separation and are looking forward to being out of the marriage. You may see the therapist all together or you might opt for individual treatment, probably with different professionals.  Your child’s pediatrician or your PCP will have some referrals for you – just ask.  Also, many schools provide Divorce Support Groups so check with the counselor. Area churches also provide such groups, although they’re usually for adults.

Some other goals: make sure you and your kids have conversations that have nothing to do with the split. Remember that they (and you!) still have lives going on outside of the divorce. To the extent you can, try to increase the amount of quality time (key word: QUALITY, meaning no videogames or Facebook) you spend with your children. One-on-one time with each kid is preferable if you can swing it. Schedule the time on your calendar if that’s the only way to make it happen. Your child needs to know he is still a priority, no matter how crazy things are getting with the transition.

About this column: Send your parenting- and kid-related questions my way and I’ll tell you what I can: parentingwithaphd@gmail.com Please be aware that email is not a secure method of transmitting personal information so it’s best to keep your questions general. If your question is featured, your name and email will not be published. Submitting a question does not constitute a professional relationship in any way and this column is not meant to substitute for face-to-face therapy. If you feel you’re doing the best you can and still need help, it may be time to bring in a professional. Start by talking with your child’s pediatrician to get a referral.

Kristen Berthiaume, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist with Grayson and Associates (www.graysonmentalhealth.com). She obtained her doctorate in clinical psychology from the University of Kentucky. She completed a predoctoral internship in clinical psychology at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and a post- doctoral fellowship in the Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorders (ADHD) Program at Duke University Medical Center. She specializes in providing assessment and treatment of children, adolescents, and families dealing with the following issues: ADHD, learning disorders, social skill deficits, organizational problems, behavioral difficulties, anxiety, and depression. She generally focuses on behavioral and cognitive- behavioral techniques, but maintains a flexible approach to therapy. Her other day job is as mom to her six-year-old daughter and two-year-old son, and as incubator to a third kiddo.

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