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Parenting with a PhD: Separation Anxiety

Posted on by Angie

By: Kristen Berthiaume PhD

Every Time You Go Away…
Helping Your Kid Deal with Separation Anxiety

My thanks to Hall & Oates for the title (you’re singing it in your head now, aren’t you? Sorry about that…). Separation anxiety is a normal part of development that typically occurs in infants between 9 and 18 months of age. It’s a process that protects the baby from being taken from her primary caregivers by a stranger (although, grandma may get screamed at, too). When separation anxiety occurs in older children, it can be heartbreaking for parents who just want our kids to feel happy and secure. If you’ve noticed your child becoming increasingly clingy, terrified that something awful will happen to her, you, or someone else, and avoidant of regular activities she used to go to willing, you may be dealing with separation anxiety.

Start by arming your child with some tools to help relieve anxiety and build self-reliance. Together, come up with a list of positive reminders that you can both agree are true. For example: “I am safe;” “My mom is a careful driver;” “My teachers will take care of me;” or “I know how to get help if I need it.” Post these reminders places your child will see them – by his bedside, on his wall, in his backpack, in his pocket, on the fridge. Consider putting together a book of reminders and having your child illustrate it. Practice them together frequently. The goal is for these to become second nature so they’re accessible when the worried thoughts get going. Practice deep breathing and talk your child through tensing and releasing each of his major muscle groups, one at a time. Right before bed is a particularly good time for relaxation. Teach him to rate his anxiety on a scale from 1 (feeling great!) to 10 (full blown panic) so that he can tell you specifically how nervous he’s feeling in a given situation. If he rates everything at a 10, try to help him calibrate that by saying, “You look fairly calm to me – just a little shaky. I would guess you’re lower than a 10 right now – maybe a 5.” Most kids can tolerate a 3 or 4 on a 10-point scale on their own but it’s time to start using some relaxation skills if the anxiety gets higher than that. You can help your child learn to monitor his level of concern by talking about what physical symptoms he’s noticing as anxiety increases. Beating heart? Sweaty palms? Butterflies in his tummy? Those are all signs he has some work to do to calm down.

Now that your child has some tools to use, it’s time to get serious. It’s very important that you don’t cancel important plans or activities, or allow your child to stay home from school because of her anxiety. Doing so will strongly send the message that being apart is DANGEROUS and should be avoided at all costs. As much as you want to take away your child’s hurt and worry, giving in to irrational fears is not the answer. Although this may seem helpful temporarily, it will make things much worse long-term. You may decide to be apart a bit less during this period to avoid unnecessary battles but you can’t glue your child to your side so she doesn’t have to feel bad.

Preparation for being apart is KEY to managing separation anxiety. Keep a family calendar with everyone’s appointments. Color-code the schedule so the kids know at a glance which is a whole family activity and which will require separation. Pick a time on Saturday or Sunday to review the upcoming weekly schedule in advance. Talk about the events for which you’ll be apart. When do they start and end? Who will take your child to his activities and who will pick him up? Who will your child stay with on date night? Explain which activities are optional (i.e., a play date) and which are not (i.e., going to school). Give her some control to skip the optional activities if she’s not up for them but talk about the pros and cons of missing out. You might even consider providing extra incentive if your kid goes ahead and tries the optional activities despite her hesitation, even if she has to come home early. Be sure to go over changes as they come up. For longer periods of separation (e.g., work trips), have the person staying with your child mark off the days as they happen so she can see the return date getting closer and closer.

Before an activity, talk again about the specifics. Explain if you’ll be hanging around or dropping off, and where and when you’ll pick your child up. Answer questions and provide some reassurance but don’t dwell on the anxiety. Once you’ve made details clear, try to move on to a new topic. It’s important to validate your child’s feelings but if you spend too much time on them, you’ll send the message that there is real reason to worry. When picking up your child, do your best to get there when you said you would to help increase her trust that things usually go as planned. But, make very clear to her that something could come up and to use her reminders to help with the waiting. “If I’m a little late, it’s just because I didn’t leave on time or got stuck in traffic. Remind yourself that I always come back to get you and that I’m a very careful driver if you start to get worried.” Give her a goal to focus on such as: “If I am five minutes late, you can call my cell phone to see when I’ll get there” or, “I will call you if I’ll be more than ten minutes late.” Whatever plan you make, stick to it.

Talk with your child about what she could do in the unusual event that you’re not where you said you’d be for pick up. Older, responsible children can manage having a cell phone with them. Program in back-up numbers (e.g., a friend’s mom, granddad) in case you’re not answering your phone for some reason. Talk about who your younger child can go to for help in various situations – teachers, camp counselors, coaches, friends’ moms, etc. – and be sure some of these sources have your contact information and that of the child’s other parent or a relative.

Some kids need more help than you as a parent can give them. When the separation anxiety is causing stress and disruption for the whole family, it might be time to call in an expert. Ask your pediatrician for a referral for therapy. Ideally, you’re looking for a therapist who works with children and uses cognitive-behavioral techniques to treat anxiety. Plan to attend weekly sessions, at least for a while. Your therapist will talk to you if he or she feels that medication might need to be considered. Therapists don’t prescribe medication for anxiety but they can help you find a treating physician.

Know going in that the process of working through separation anxiety will be a bit of a roller coaster. Some days you’ll feel enormous empathy for your sweet son who just wants constant hugs. Other days you’ll want him to stop touching you and get on the bus already. Do the best you can to limit displays of frustration in front of him. Showing annoyance with his attachment may actually make the problem worse because he’ll double his efforts to stay close. Be caring but always firm when it comes to maintaining limits. He still has to attend school. He still has to go to bed. You still have to have privacy when you go to the bathroom. If you have a spouse or partner (or sister, brother, parent, neighbor), tag team with each other so no one gets burned out.  There will be tears (His. Yours.) but you will all survive. Promise. The skills you’re teaching your kids now for dealing with the anxiety will serve them well throughout life.

About this column: Send your parenting- and kid-related questions my way and I’ll tell you what I can: parentingwithaphd@gmail.com Please be aware that email is not a secure method of transmitting personal information so it’s best to keep your questions general. If your question is featured, your name and email will not be published. Submitting a question does not constitute a professional relationship in any way and this column is not meant to substitute for face-to-face therapy. If you feel you’re doing the best you can and still need help, it may be time to bring in a professional. Start by talking with your child’s pediatrician to get a referral.

Kristen Berthiaume, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist with Grayson and Associates (www.graysonmentalhealth.com). She obtained her doctorate in clinical psychology from the University of Kentucky. She completed a predoctoral internship in clinical psychology at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and a post- doctoral fellowship in the Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorders (ADHD) Program at Duke University Medical Center. She specializes in providing assessment and treatment of children, adolescents, and families dealing with the following issues: ADHD, learning disorders, social skill deficits, organizational problems, behavioral difficulties, anxiety, and depression. She generally focuses on behavioral and cognitive- behavioral techniques, but maintains a flexible approach to therapy. Her other day job is as mom to her six-year-old daughter and two-year-old son, and as incubator to a third kiddo.

Birmingham Events Calendar: April 28th – May 5th

Posted on by Angie

Sunday will be your last day to enjoy the State Fair at Oak Mountain. Open from 1pm – 11pm, you will find fun for the whole family!!

Food Trucks are coming to the 2nd Annual Food Truck Round Up at Colonial Brookwood Village, if you’re at the mall on Thursday or want to hear some live music, Brookwood Live! Is back again for the month of May.

Barons are at their beautiful new home again this week, and if you’re in the Trussville area, check out Trussville City Fest! Another great event for the whole family! Have a great week!

It’s Not Our Fault if Your Kids are Bored!

Sunday April 28th:

Oak Mountain, State Fair
The Oak Mountain State Fair has partnered with North American Midway Entertainment, the world’s largest traveling outdoor amusement park. They provide a safe midway experience including Rides, Games and Food to over 15 million fair-goers every single year in 20 states and 4 Canadian provinces, including 10 of the top 50 fairs in North America.

Your family will experience a clean and safe environment while at the Oak Mountain State Fair with something for everyone from babies to 70 years old.

On our music stages we have Casey James, winner of Fox6′s American Idol; Colt Ford and Alan Jackson w/ Tate Stephens, from Fox’s X-Factor. You also won’t want to miss the Nerveless Knocks or Animal Planet’s Gator Boys.

This is guaranteed fun for the whole family!!
1pm – 11pm

Family Fun and Fitness Day – City of Montevallo, Orr Park
The City of Montevallo will hold its annual family festival, Montevallo Family Fun and Fitness Day. This year, through the efforts of the Park and Recreation Board, the University of Montevallo, ValloCycle, and the Boys and Girls Club, the event will offer a variety of activities and demonstrations. Health, nature, and sustainability will be emphasized in displays through out the park.

Participants in the Montevallo Elementary School PE ½ Marathon and the Middle School Marathon Run will complete their challenge beginning at 3:00 pm on FFF Day and receive medals for their accomplishments.

Hikers will have an opportunity to enjoy the beauty of the Parks Trail and bikers will have a guided 3-4 mile ride. Exciting activities such as rock climbing, golf, tai chi, yoga and zumba will be demonstrated during the day.

Don’t miss this opportunity to experience a day of outdoor activities with your family! Admission to the event is FREE! Crafts and food will be available for purchase.
2pm – 4pm

Bargain Carousel – Former JCPenney location at the back of Century Plaza mall.
A 1000-family garage sale, Bargain Carousel has been labeled the “largest garage sale in Birmingham.” The Junior League of Birmingham’s Bargain Carousel provides shoppers with quality items at affordable prices.

The proceeds raised at Bargain Carousel are returned to the community through the Junior League of Birmingham’s 30 Community Projects.
1pm – 5pm

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Monday April 29th:

Toddler Tales – North Shelby Library
A story program for children and a caregiver. Stories, songs, finger plays and crafts make up a lively program designed especially for short attention spans. Best suited for ages 19 months to 3 years. Must Register
9:30am and 10:30am

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Tuesday April 30th:

Hippo Adventures – Birmingham Museum of Art
Meet at the Information Desk outside Bart’s ArtVenture! Join us for a new in-gallery family experience! Children aged 3 – 8 and their adult companions are invited to join Museum educators to explore Hip, Hippo, Hooray!, discover activities that make looking at art fun and exciting, and create new family memories about art and hippos.

No reservations required. Hippo Adventures are also available by appointment for groups of 10 or more children aged 3 – 8. For more information or to schedule a tour, call 205.254.2964.
10:30am

Storytime – Homewood Public Library
Join us for the best part of your week with stories that make you laugh and songs that make you dance! Join us for the fun of it! All ages welcome. For large groups, a call to 332-6619 is nice.
10:30am

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Wednesday May 1st:

Birmingham Barons – Regions Park
Barons take on Chattanooga Lookouts
7:05 pm

Storytime – Barnes and Noble Summit
Join us as we read Peepsqueak Wants a Friend. Find out what happens when a little chick goes into the woods to find a new friend. We will have a delicious treat from the Cafe and make something fun.
11am

Family Story Time with Mr Mac – North Shelby Library
Storyteller Extraordinaire – Come join Mr Mac and his musical storytime complete with puppets! All Ages, no registration required.
10:45am

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Thursday May 2nd:

Brookwood Live! Colonial Brookwood Village
Live Music On the Street – Featured Band, Chevy 6
5pm – 9pm

Birmingham Barons – Regions Park
Barons take on Chattanooga Lookouts
7:05 pm

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Friday May 3rd:

Trussville City Fest – The Mall in Trussville
Welcome to the 33rd Annual Trussville City Fest (formerly Dog Daze) located in the heart of historic downtown Trussville. This festival has something for everybody: music, dance, children’s activities, food, booths, fireworks, and much more! Come on down!
Admission to the festival is free. We will sell wristbands for the kids’ rides at $10 per child.
6pm – 9pm

Birmingham Barons – Regions Park
Barons take on Chattanooga Lookouts
7:05 pm

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Saturday May 4th:

Trussville City Fest – The Mall in Trussville
Welcome to the 33rd Annual Trussville City Fest (formerly Dog Daze) located in the heart of historic downtown Trussville. This festival has something for everybody: music, dance, children’s activities, food, booths, fireworks, and much more! Come on down!
Admission to the festival is free. We will sell wristbands for the kids’ rides at $10 per child.
9pm – 4pm

Food Truck Round Up – Brookwood Mall
Second Annual Food Truck Round Up Benefitting PreSchool Partners. Join us for a culinary experience – an opportunity to taste cuisine from local food trucks. From burgers to tacos to cupcakes there is something for everyone. Live music, amazing gourmet food, kid-friendly entertainment and fun for all ages.
10am – 2pm Rain or Shine

PopUp Project Avondale
The Regional Planning Commission of Greater Birmingham (RPCGB) is teaming up with several partners to create “Pop-Up Project.” Pop Up Project will educate the public on pedestrian and cyclists’ safety while promoting the implementation and maintenance of sidewalks and bike paths.

Temporary actions can inspire permanent change. Come out to Avondale and see what is popping up!
Bring your bike, yoga mat, and tennis shoes! Pop-Up Project will have plenty of activities for ALL ages!
Daily Activities will include: Yoga, Zumba, Martial Arts, Tragic City Rollers Expo, Bike Rodeo, and a temporary bike lane to encourage the need for bike lanes in Avondale!
We will also be bringing back our Pop-Up Shop with all new local vendors!
Activities will be continuously going on throughout the day
8am – 2pm

Birmingham Barons – Regions Park
Barons take on Chattanooga Lookouts
6:30 pm

Family Storytime – Emmet O’Neal Library
Bring the entire family and join Mr. Mac for stories and music each Saturday morning.
10:30 a.m.

Storytime – Barnes and Noble Summit
Join us as we read Let’s Go, Hugo! We will find out what happens when a bird would rather walk than fly. Will he be able to overcome his fear? There will be a craft and we will have something yummy from the Cafe.
11am

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Sunday May 5th:

Birmingham Barons – Regions Park
Barons take on Chattanooga Lookouts
3:00 pm

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Local Attractions Open Daily!

McWane Science Center:

IMAX
McWane Science Center’s IMAX® Dome Theater puts you in the center of the action by projecting breathtaking quality images onto the 5-story-tall dome screen and delivering intense surround sound through almost 3 tons of speakers and subwoofers.
Now Showing: The Last Reef, Santa and the Snowman, Rocky Mountain Express

The Tornadoes of April 27th – Looking Back — Moving Forward, a new exhibit at McWane Science Center, reflects on the experiences of the April 27th, 2011 storms. The exhibit shares personal stories from those who experienced the devastation of the storms firsthand, while emphasizing the importance of tornado preparedness and explaining the science behind tornadoes.

Photos and stories from The Birmingham News help tell the story of the storms and the affect they had on survivors, volunteers, and the community as a whole. Students from Daniel Payne Middle School also help tell the story of their school and community through photos and artifacts from the storm for the exhibit. UAB students worked with the children from Daniel Payne Middle School to create short documentaries that can be seen in the exhibit as well.

In addition to sharing the personal stories from that day, the goal of this exhibit is to inform the community about how to prepare for extreme weather conditions, explaining the science of tornadoes and stressing awareness.

With vivid displays, the exhibit allows visitors the opportunity to learn about the scientific side of tornadoes. Graphics within the exhibit illustrate tornado formation and anatomy, educating visitors on how such extreme weather conditions develop. Additionally, the exhibit displays statistics and disputes common myths concerning the destructive storms.

Guests can watch live video from the storms that rolled across our state on April 27th, 2011, including the
weather forecasts from that day and actual images of the tornado as it made its way through our area provided by FOX6 WBRC. The exhibit is located in the City Gallery on Level 2 of the museum this summer.

Be Ready Alabama Exhibit Presented by:
The Governor’s Office of Faith-Based and Community Initiatives
www.readyalabama.org

Animal Grossology
Experience a new exhibit that is oozing with science as you meet some of the slimiest and yuckiest creatures on Earth! You’ll never look at the animal kingdom the same way after you see “ANIMAL GROSSOLOGY!”

The Animal Grossology exhibition, based on a popular series of books by science teacher Sylvia Branzei, is an educational experience grounded in the theory that the best way to get kids interested in science is to present it in terms they find most appealing. Let’s face it, topics such as slime, vomit, dookies and other gross stuff are completely fascinating for your average six to 14-year-old.

By physically stepping into the Animal Grossology exhibition, these subjects have become an interactive, larger-than-life biology lesson that harnesses kid’s natural curiosity about themselves and teaches them about how animals function.

Oozing with disgusting science and interactive learning games, the all-new “Animal Grossology” exhibit is sure to provide a unique perspective on the animal kingdom. Museum guests will experience some of the slimiest, stinkiest and downright yuckiest creatures on earth.

The exhibition contains solid science and introduces it in a way that makes kids giggle. It’s science disguised in interactive entertainment and kids are more apt to learn when they’re having fun doing it. You may think leeches are pretty gross but they’re used after some surgeries to assist in the healing process. Did you know that cows are one of the gassiest animals on earth? Learn why the dung beetle is nature’s living pooper scooper and why scientists are studying slug and snail slime production for clues in treating cystic fibrosis.

Animal Grossology is a temporary travelling exhibit created and produced by Advanced Exhibits, a division of Advanced Animations LLC, in collaboration with Sylvia Branzei, the author of the GROSSOLOGY series of books. The books are published through Price Stern Sloan, a member of Penguin (USA) Inc.

Birmingham Zoo:

Lorikeet Aviary – Our Lorikeet Aviary has more birds than ever! Zoo guests can feed these exotic birds every day. You and your family will see these birds’ behavior as they eat nectar out of your hand.
Weekends 10:00 am – 4:00 pm

PELICAN FEEDING – A great way to see our pelicans in action is to witness them eating their favorite treats near the pelican boardwalk.

RHINO ENCOUNTER – Embark on an African adventure and experience one of the world’s most extraordinary animals, the Southern White Rhino. Watch from only feet away as our zookeepers engage in hands-on interaction with the animals inside their African-themed exhibit. Don’t miss this exciting encounter with one of the largest mammals on the planet!
Weekdays: 3pm – 3:30pm
Weekends: 11:30am – Noon & 3pm – 3:30 pm

GIRAFFE FEEDING – This up close and personal animal encounter is a memory you and your family will have for a lifetime.
Weekday: 11am – Noon
Weekends: 10am – 11am  & 2pm – 3pm

Vulcan Park and Museum:

Vulcan is the world’s largest cast iron statue; made of 100,000 pounds of iron and 56 feet tall, he stands at the top of Red Mountain overlooking the city of Birmingham. But, Vulcan is more than a statue. Vulcan Park and Museum features spectacular views of Birmingham, an interactive history museum that examines Vulcan and Birmingham’s story, and a beautiful public park for visitors and locals to enjoy. With an official information center that is operated by the Greater Birmingham Convention and Visitors Bureau, Vulcan Park and Museum serves as the first stop for visitors to the Birmingham area!

Railroad Park:

Railroad Park is a 19 acre green space in downtown Birmingham that celebrates the industrial and artistic heritage of our great city. Situated along 1st Avenue South, between 14th and 18th Streets, the park is a joint effort between the City of Birmingham and the Railroad Park Foundation. Hailed as “Birmingham’s Living Room,” Railroad Park provides a historically rich venue for local recreation, family activities, concerts, and cultural events, while connecting Birmingham’s downtown area with Southside and UAB’s campus.

Southern Museum of Flight:

Earn Your Wings – Bring your little pilot and soar above the clouds in our little pilots room. Kids enjoy building aircrafts, flying kites, and more.
Museum Open Tuesday – Thursday
9:30am – 4:30pm

Do you have or know of an event you would like to have added to our weekly calendar? Please email us at contact@birminghammommy.com, subject line “Events Calendar” – We would love to hear from you!

** All information listed on our calendar is subject to change without notice to us or you… We do our best to keep the information accurate and will always update as soon as we learn that something has changed. It’s always best to double check with the event via their website or a quick call,  especially when weather can impact the event.

Medical Minute: Breastfeeding Difficulties

Posted on by Angie

Breastfeeding isn’t always easy for everyone. There are obstacles that you may face such as insufficient milk supply, sore nipples, mastitis, and plugged milk ducts.

Most mothers worry at some point that they do not have enough milk. A delay in the time when milk “comes in” sometimes occurs in mothers dealing with certain health conditions. Do not wait to get help if milk production is ever a concern. The sooner you intervene, the better. Ask a certified lactation consultant (IBCLC) and your doctor to help you figure out what might be the problem affecting milk production, so that you and your baby can begin to correct it.

Infrequent or insufficient breastfeeding (milk removal) is the most common reason for a delay in the time when the milk “comes in,” for insufficient milk production, or for any drop in production. A review of the number and length of breastfeedings should always be first thing you do if you are ever concerned about milk production.

Occasionally, a mother has a health condition that may temporarily delay the large increase in milk production usually seen between three to five days following birth (postpartum). These mothers may not begin to produce large amounts of milk until seven to 14 days after giving birth. If this happens to you, do not feel discouraged. Continue to breastfeed frequently even if you also must give your baby infant formula for a few days.

Research has yet to discover whether the cause for a delay in increased milk production is due to a health-, pregnancy-, or birth-related condition; certain medical treatments for such conditions; or a delay in frequent breastfeeding that often occurs with such conditions. Some of the conditions, or treatments, that experts think may contribute to a delay include the following:

  • Severe stress
  • Cesarean (surgical) delivery
  • Postpartum hemorrhage
  • Maternal obesity
  • Infection or illness with fever
  • Diabetes–juvenile, adult-onset and gestational
  • Thyroid conditions
  • Strict or prolonged bed rest during pregnancy

A plugged duct feels like a tender lump in the breast. Some mothers seem to be more prone to developing them, but usually they occur when a mother goes too long without emptying her breasts, or if insufficient milk is removed during feedings. Review your baby’s feeding routine and see if the time between one or more feedings has recently changed for any reason. Sometimes, a mother gets busy again with a task and does not realize feedings are being delayed. Ineffective sucking may contribute to plugged ducts. Also, check that the material of nursing bras or clothing bunched during feedings is not putting pressure on milk ducts in a certain area of the breast.

If you develop a plugged duct, be sure to breastfeed or remove milk often and alternate different feeding positions. It often helps to apply warm compresses to the area or soak the breast in warm water. Massage above and then over the affected area when breastfeeding and after application of warm compresses.

Mastitis is often used interchangeably with the term breast infection, but mastitis may also be due to an inflammation. Often a reddened area is noted on the breast. Inflammatory or infectious mastitis may develop for reasons similar to those for plugged duct development, and the same interventions usually are helpful.

It is especially important to keep the affected breast “empty” through frequent breastfeeding. If you develop flu-like symptoms or your temperature increases to 100.4° F or higher, call your physician. An antibiotic probably will be prescribed for 10 to 14 days. Be sure you take the entire course of the medication or you may experience a recurrence.

What tips do you have to share with new Moms? What tips or tricks did you use to help with any difficulties you may have had?

Online Auction: Round Two

Posted on by Angie

We have some more great items up to auction off. We are still raising money to send our sponsored child, Jordan to Disney.

You will be able to bid on these items directly on our Facebook Page.

Item 1:

Cinderella Birthday Party (guest appearance from Cinderella herself)  with Birthday Banner and Cake from Mercy Cakes Alive.
Total Package Valued at $200 +

Item 2:

2  Season Tickets to the Alabama Ballet (2013-2014 season)
Value $400+

Item 3:

SunCana single Pod brewer with 6 boxes of assorted coffee pods (16 pods/box)
Valued at $100+

Item 4:

Nine West Red Leather Purse with Assorted Avon Products.
Value $60+

Auction Rules –
You must bid on the photo on Facebook. All bids must be in $5 increments. Invalid bids will be deleted. The last and highest bid in before the end of the auction wins. Bidding on these items will end Monday, April 25th at 2pm. Once payment is made item will be mailed to the winner. Payments accepted by check, paypal or can be directly donated to our E-Campaign

 

 

Pinspired: Bacon and Egg Candy!

Posted on by Angie

When I saw these, I had to make them. They are too cute to pass up. Usually, the cute stuff is hard to make and doesn’t actually taste very good- it’s just cute. This treat is yummy and simple. And, you could always add some green food coloring to the white chocolate and use fruit rollups in place of pretzels to make green eggs and ham!

All you need is:
-White chocolate chips-melted in the microwave in microwave safe bowl, at 50% power
-M&Ms-pick out all the yellow ones
-Pretzel sticks

Line a cookie sheet with wax paper.  Blob a bit of melted chocolate on the wax paper about the size of a quarter.  Put a yellow m&m in the center of chocolate blob with the logo down/not showing.  Break the pretzel stick in half and put your 2 “bacon strips” along side “egg.”  Transfer to refrigerator to chill till chocolate sets about 20-30 min.

This one is easy enough for kids to do with little supervision if you melt the chocolate first and get everything set out on the table.
For more of our favorite Pinterest Finds, follow our boards!

The Gray Area: Cause and Effect

Posted on by Angie

By: Misty Smith

Cause & Effect: Forgiveness or Revenge?

Those possible turning points in relationships where the decision of forgiveness or revenge is the one we make. It’s that hurtful word or event or that embarrassing moment that puts us in complete control of the future of our relationship. Will we choose to forgive, or will we seek out revenge with hate and anger that consumes us and eats away at our entire life. This choice is one that needs to be considered carefully because the result of this decision to forgive or seek revenge can change the course of our lives forever. We all have one of those stories where you wish you could go back and choose a different path to see what MIGHT have happened.

I know most of you understand what I’m talking about. Let me tell you a little story.  A friend of mine, we will call her “Mary,” came over for a glass of wine one evening not so long ago.  After half a bottle of Syrah, a warm piece of chocolate brownie, and a few tears, a story emerged. For some time, she and her husband had been having a situation in their marriage. It started out innocent enough, but quickly turned after sometime…well, less innocent. “Mary’s” husband, while a great guy, had started a friendship with a coworker of the opposite sex.  This relationship quickly went from innocent conversation to spicy texts, emails, and phone calls.  “Mary” found out about this “affair.” While there was no actual sex involved in the relationship, “Mary” still felt very betrayed by the situation, and her husband’s actions. He agreed to cease all communications with the other woman, but this did not take away the hurt “Mary” felt. She had some decisions to make…. hold a grudge, seek revenge, or forgive.  What to do, What to do?

Let’s play a little game of “What if?”

What if she chooses to hold a grudge? This would eventually lead to resentments, angry words, unfair and unwarranted arguments. Eventually leading to one of two things: 1) an EXTREMELY unhappy marriage or 2) DIVORCE.

What if she chooses to seek revenge? Has anyone watched that show “Revenge”? Let’s just say it usually doesn’t end well for anyone, including the one seeking it. Ultimately, it will most likely end the relationship.

What if she chooses to forgive? This does take a lot of work, and maybe even some counseling, but is it not possibly worth it? Maybe it is….maybe it isn’t. Maybe it works, and you are happier than ever before. Maybe it doesn’t, and you still find yourself in a divorced situation. BUT…at least you tried.

I guess the question one has to ask themselves is whether you want to potentially look back and wonder “what if?” or look back and worry about the “wasted time.” I am usually not a proponent of “wasting time,” but I hate that feeling of “what if” even more. That feeling can eat at you for years, and ultimately cause you to waste more time. “Mary” and her husband don’t have children, so the decision could be made so easily to just leave, but they got married after years of dating and time spent making sure they were each others “one.” What about that time?

When you receive a negative or less than appropriate reaction from your spouse to something extremely important to you, it makes you frustrated…Confused…ANGRY! Why didn’t they give you what you wanted or what you needed? I recommend taking some deep breaths, writing your thoughts down on paper, and then having a rational conversation or discussion about it when stress levels are as low as possible. This absolutely means that the children should either be in bed or not at home because we all know the wonderful level of stress our precious little ones can add to our day.

Can affairs, embarrassing moments, and harsh words truly EVER be forgiven?

About this column: Please be aware that this column potentially addresses sensitive issues that might, at times, be considered offensive. Feel free to send your relationship-related questions to my email: mistysmithphd@convenienttherapy.com. Be aware that email is not a secure method of transmitting personal information so it’s best to keep your questions general. If your question is featured in the column, your name and email will not be published. Submitting a question does not constitute a professional relationship in any way, and this column is not meant to substitute for face-to-face therapy. If you feel you’re doing the best you can and still need help, it may be time to seek counseling services from a professional. You may also join in on the conversations over on her Facebook page.

Misty Smith, Ph.D. is a Licensed Professional Counselor. She owns a private practice, Smith Counseling Services, Inc. She obtained her Master’s degree in Counseling from Jacksonville State University, an Educational Specialist degree from The University of Alabama, and her Doctorate in Counselor Education from Mississippi State University. She provides counseling services in the following areas: couples/marriage, family, stress management, employee assistance services, time management, divorce, and other major life changes. She generally focuses on solution-focused brief therapy, as well as, behavioral and cognitive-behavioral techniques, but feels a flexible approach to therapy is necessary because all people are different. She is a wife of 10 years and a mom to a 5 year-old daughter, a 3 year-old son, a 19 year-old step-son, a 16 year-old step-daughter, and a 20 year-old Russian exchange daughter.

Birmingham Events Calendar: April 21st – April 28th

Posted on by Angie

You just have to love Spring Time in Birmingham! The yo-yo weather and calendar full of events make for some fun times around the city!

The State Fair has arrived at Oak Mountain and there are a couple of Earth Day Celebrations happening, check out Railroad Park for a picnic of the Earth or Ruffner Mountain where they’ll be showing The Lorax.

The Barons are at their beautiful new home until Wednesday, it’s perfect weather for catching a game!

Have a great week!

It’s Not Our Fault if Your Kids are Bored!

Sunday April 21st:

Picnic for the Earth – Railroad Park
Get outside and celebrate Earth Day with good food and great company! The Nature Conservancy will host its second annual Picnic for Earth: All Hands on Earth Picnic benefiting The Nature Conservancy at Railroad Park.

The event includes a variety of environmental-themed activities; live music from the Magic City Choral Society, Red Mountain White Trash and Phil & Walon; a fun-filled kids’ area complete with giant Earth balls and animal encounters from The Birmingham Zoo; outdoor works of art on display for sale; and lots of picnicking. This free event is a part of the Conservancy’s worldwide effort to unite millions for a healthy planet!

Pack a picnic or purchase food onsite from Jim ‘N Nick’s Bar-B-Q. They will sell picnic lunches during the Picnic with a portion of the proceeds benefiting The Nature Conservancy’s conservation work in Alabama.
Noon – 3pm

Lorax Earth Day Fun – Ruffner Mountain Nature Center
Join us for this family fun Earth Day celebration! Dr. Seuss wrote about environmental concerns in his book “The Lorax,” published in 1971, with a conservation message that still rings true today. We will kick off the celebration with a reading of “The Lorax” at 1:30 pm. Activities will include: recycled and nature inspired crafts, a guided 1/2 mile hike at 2:30 pm, meeting and learning about native Alabama animals at 3:30 pm, and learning some of the ways we can help out our planet.

Birmingham Barons – Regions Park
Barons take on Hunstville
3:00pm

Oak Mountain, State Fair
The Oak Mountain State Fair has partnered with North American Midway Entertainment, the world’s largest traveling outdoor amusement park. They provide a safe midway experience including Rides, Games and Food to over 15 million fair-goers every single year in 20 states and 4 Canadian provinces, including 10 of the top 50 fairs in North America.

Your family will experience a clean and safe environment while at the Oak Mountain State Fair with something for everyone from babies to 70 years old.

On our music stages we have Casey James, winner of Fox6’s American Idol; Colt Ford and Alan Jackson w/ Tate Stephens, from Fox’s X-Factor. You also won’t want to miss the Nerveless Knocks or Animal Planet’s Gator Boys.

This is guaranteed fun for the whole family!!
1pm

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Monday April 22nd:

Birmingham Barons – Regions Park
Barons take on Hunstville
11:30am

Toddler Tales – North Shelby Library
A story program for children and a caregiver. Stories, songs, finger plays and crafts make up a lively program designed especially for short attention spans. Best suited for ages 19 months to 3 years. Must Register
9:30am and 10:30am

Oak Mountain, State Fair
The Oak Mountain State Fair has partnered with North American Midway Entertainment, the world’s largest traveling outdoor amusement park. They provide a safe midway experience including Rides, Games and Food to over 15 million fair-goers every single year in 20 states and 4 Canadian provinces, including 10 of the top 50 fairs in North America.

Your family will experience a clean and safe environment while at the Oak Mountain State Fair with something for everyone from babies to 70 years old.

On our music stages we have Casey James, winner of Fox6’s American Idol; Colt Ford and Alan Jackson w/ Tate Stephens, from Fox’s X-Factor. You also won’t want to miss the Nerveless Knocks or Animal Planet’s Gator Boys.

This is guaranteed fun for the whole family!!
5pm – 11pm

Monday Movie – Homewood Public Library
All ages welcome. Delicious freshly popped popcorn along with juice will be served to all children in attendance.
3:30pm

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Tuesday April 23rd:

Birmingham Barons – Regions Park
Barons take on Huntsville
7:05pm

Hippo Adventures – Birmingham Museum of Art
Meet at the Information Desk outside Bart’s ArtVenture! Join us for a new in-gallery family experience! Children aged 3 – 8 and their adult companions are invited to join Museum educators to explore Hip, Hippo, Hooray!, discover activities that make looking at art fun and exciting, and create new family memories about art and hippos.

No reservations required. Hippo Adventures are also available by appointment for groups of 10 or more children aged 3 – 8. For more information or to schedule a tour, call 205.254.2964.
10:30am

Auntie Litter Earth Day Celebration – Birmingham Zoo
Guests will learn about the dangers posed to the environment, how to eliminate litter, practice the environmental 3 R’s (Reuse, Reduce Waste and Recycle), conserve natural resources and protect the environment. Activities will include a performance by Auntie Litter, science shows, educational exhibits and a Wildlife Show.

*These activities are included with the price of Zoo admission.

School groups are welcome to attend this special Earth Day event. Click here to place your group reservation.

Oak Mountain, State Fair
The Oak Mountain State Fair has partnered with North American Midway Entertainment, the world’s largest traveling outdoor amusement park. They provide a safe midway experience including Rides, Games and Food to over 15 million fair-goers every single year in 20 states and 4 Canadian provinces, including 10 of the top 50 fairs in North America.

Your family will experience a clean and safe environment while at the Oak Mountain State Fair with something for everyone from babies to 70 years old.

On our music stages we have Casey James, winner of Fox6’s American Idol; Colt Ford and Alan Jackson w/ Tate Stephens, from Fox’s X-Factor. You also won’t want to miss the Nerveless Knocks or Animal Planet’s Gator Boys.

This is guaranteed fun for the whole family!!
5pm – 11pm

Storytime – Homewood Public Library
Join us for the best part of your week with stories that make you laugh and songs that make you dance! Join us for the fun of it! All ages welcome. For large groups, a call to 332-6619 is nice.
10:30am

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Wednesday April 24th:

Birmingham Barons – Regions Park
Barons take on Huntsville
11:ooam

Oak Mountain, State Fair
The Oak Mountain State Fair has partnered with North American Midway Entertainment, the world’s largest traveling outdoor amusement park. They provide a safe midway experience including Rides, Games and Food to over 15 million fair-goers every single year in 20 states and 4 Canadian provinces, including 10 of the top 50 fairs in North America.

Your family will experience a clean and safe environment while at the Oak Mountain State Fair with something for everyone from babies to 70 years old.

On our music stages we have Casey James, winner of Fox6’s American Idol; Colt Ford and Alan Jackson w/ Tate Stephens, from Fox’s X-Factor. You also won’t want to miss the Nerveless Knocks or Animal Planet’s Gator Boys.

This is guaranteed fun for the whole family!!
5pm – 11pm

Storytime – Barnes and Noble Summit
Join us as we read The Boy Who Cried Bigfoot! What will happen when a little boy says he saw Bigfoot, and will anyone believe him? We will make something fun and have a yummy treat from the Cafe.
11am

Family Story Time with Mr Mac – North Shelby Library
Storyteller Extraordinaire – Come join Mr Mac and his musical storytime complete with puppets! All Ages, no registration required.
10:45am

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Thursday April 25th:

Oak Mountain, State Fair
The Oak Mountain State Fair has partnered with North American Midway Entertainment, the world’s largest traveling outdoor amusement park. They provide a safe midway experience including Rides, Games and Food to over 15 million fair-goers every single year in 20 states and 4 Canadian provinces, including 10 of the top 50 fairs in North America.

Your family will experience a clean and safe environment while at the Oak Mountain State Fair with something for everyone from babies to 70 years old.

On our music stages we have Casey James, winner of Fox6’s American Idol; Colt Ford and Alan Jackson w/ Tate Stephens, from Fox’s X-Factor. You also won’t want to miss the Nerveless Knocks or Animal Planet’s Gator Boys.

This is guaranteed fun for the whole family!!
5pm – 11pm
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Friday April 26th:

Oak Mountain, State Fair
The Oak Mountain State Fair has partnered with North American Midway Entertainment, the world’s largest traveling outdoor amusement park. They provide a safe midway experience including Rides, Games and Food to over 15 million fair-goers every single year in 20 states and 4 Canadian provinces, including 10 of the top 50 fairs in North America.

Your family will experience a clean and safe environment while at the Oak Mountain State Fair with something for everyone from babies to 70 years old.

On our music stages we have Casey James, winner of Fox6’s American Idol; Colt Ford and Alan Jackson w/ Tate Stephens, from Fox’s X-Factor. You also won’t want to miss the Nerveless Knocks or Animal Planet’s Gator Boys.

This is guaranteed fun for the whole family!!
5pm – 11pm

Bargain Carousel – Former JCPenney location at the back of Century Plaza mall.
A 1000-family garage sale, Bargain Carousel has been labeled the “largest garage sale in Birmingham.” The Junior League of Birmingham’s Bargain Carousel provides shoppers with quality items at affordable prices.

The proceeds raised at Bargain Carousel are returned to the community through the Junior League of Birmingham’s 30 Community Projects.
3pm – 7pm

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Saturday April 27th:

Earth Day at the Gardens – Birmingham Botanical Gardens
Alabama’s longest continuously-running Earth Day event, Earth Day at The Gardens. Over 40 earth-friendly exhibitors will have booths displaying family friendly activities and information. Dozens of local and regional organizations focused on issues such as conservation, energy efficiency and clean air will fill the Formal Garden, the lawn in front of the Conservatory, with fun-filled, family-focused activities.
9am – 5pm

Bart’s Art Cart – Birmingham Museum of Art
This drop-in art program for kids and families features a different theme from our galleries and art activity each month. Stop by to make art with Bart!

April Abstractions // African Patterns! Try your hand at creating textures and patterns found in the new African Ceramics gallery.
11am

Bargain Carousel – Former JCPenney location at the back of Century Plaza mall.
A 1000-family garage sale, Bargain Carousel has been labeled the “largest garage sale in Birmingham.” The Junior League of Birmingham’s Bargain Carousel provides shoppers with quality items at affordable prices.

The proceeds raised at Bargain Carousel are returned to the community through the Junior League of Birmingham’s 30 Community Projects.
8am – 5pm

Family Storytime – Emmet O’Neal Library
Bring the entire family and join Mr. Mac for stories and music each Saturday morning.
10:30 a.m.

Storytime – Barnes and Noble Summit
Join us for Storytime as we read Super Ladybug to the Rescue. We will find out how a ladybug rescues animals in trouble. We will make something fun and have a treat from the Cafe.
11am

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Sunday April 28th:

Oak Mountain, State Fair
The Oak Mountain State Fair has partnered with North American Midway Entertainment, the world’s largest traveling outdoor amusement park. They provide a safe midway experience including Rides, Games and Food to over 15 million fair-goers every single year in 20 states and 4 Canadian provinces, including 10 of the top 50 fairs in North America.

Your family will experience a clean and safe environment while at the Oak Mountain State Fair with something for everyone from babies to 70 years old.

On our music stages we have Casey James, winner of Fox6’s American Idol; Colt Ford and Alan Jackson w/ Tate Stephens, from Fox’s X-Factor. You also won’t want to miss the Nerveless Knocks or Animal Planet’s Gator Boys.

This is guaranteed fun for the whole family!!
1pm – 11pm

Family Fun and Fitness Day – City of Montevallo, Orr Park
The City of Montevallo will hold its annual family festival, Montevallo Family Fun and Fitness Day. This year, through the efforts of the Park and Recreation Board, the University of Montevallo, ValloCycle, and the Boys and Girls Club, the event will offer a variety of activities and demonstrations. Health, nature, and sustainability will be emphasized in displays through out the park.

Participants in the Montevallo Elementary School PE ½ Marathon and the Middle School Marathon Run will complete their challenge beginning at 3:00 pm on FFF Day and receive medals for their accomplishments.

Hikers will have an opportunity to enjoy the beauty of the Parks Trail and bikers will have a guided 3-4 mile ride. Exciting activities such as rock climbing, golf, tai chi, yoga and zumba will be demonstrated during the day.

Don’t miss this opportunity to experience a day of outdoor activities with your family! Admission to the event is FREE! Crafts and food will be available for purchase.
2pm – 4pm

Bargain Carousel – Former JCPenney location at the back of Century Plaza mall.
A 1000-family garage sale, Bargain Carousel has been labeled the “largest garage sale in Birmingham.” The Junior League of Birmingham’s Bargain Carousel provides shoppers with quality items at affordable prices.

The proceeds raised at Bargain Carousel are returned to the community through the Junior League of Birmingham’s 30 Community Projects.
1pm – 5pm

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Local Attractions Open Daily!

McWane Science Center:

IMAX
McWane Science Center’s IMAX® Dome Theater puts you in the center of the action by projecting breathtaking quality images onto the 5-story-tall dome screen and delivering intense surround sound through almost 3 tons of speakers and subwoofers.
Now Showing: The Last Reef, Santa and the Snowman, Rocky Mountain Express

The Tornadoes of April 27th – Looking Back — Moving Forward, a new exhibit at McWane Science Center, reflects on the experiences of the April 27th, 2011 storms. The exhibit shares personal stories from those who experienced the devastation of the storms firsthand, while emphasizing the importance of tornado preparedness and explaining the science behind tornadoes.

Photos and stories from The Birmingham News help tell the story of the storms and the affect they had on survivors, volunteers, and the community as a whole. Students from Daniel Payne Middle School also help tell the story of their school and community through photos and artifacts from the storm for the exhibit. UAB students worked with the children from Daniel Payne Middle School to create short documentaries that can be seen in the exhibit as well.

In addition to sharing the personal stories from that day, the goal of this exhibit is to inform the community about how to prepare for extreme weather conditions, explaining the science of tornadoes and stressing awareness.

With vivid displays, the exhibit allows visitors the opportunity to learn about the scientific side of tornadoes. Graphics within the exhibit illustrate tornado formation and anatomy, educating visitors on how such extreme weather conditions develop. Additionally, the exhibit displays statistics and disputes common myths concerning the destructive storms.

Guests can watch live video from the storms that rolled across our state on April 27th, 2011, including the
weather forecasts from that day and actual images of the tornado as it made its way through our area provided by FOX6 WBRC. The exhibit is located in the City Gallery on Level 2 of the museum this summer.

Be Ready Alabama Exhibit Presented by:
The Governor’s Office of Faith-Based and Community Initiatives
www.readyalabama.org

Animal Grossology
Experience a new exhibit that is oozing with science as you meet some of the slimiest and yuckiest creatures on Earth! You’ll never look at the animal kingdom the same way after you see “ANIMAL GROSSOLOGY!”

The Animal Grossology exhibition, based on a popular series of books by science teacher Sylvia Branzei, is an educational experience grounded in the theory that the best way to get kids interested in science is to present it in terms they find most appealing. Let’s face it, topics such as slime, vomit, dookies and other gross stuff are completely fascinating for your average six to 14-year-old.

By physically stepping into the Animal Grossology exhibition, these subjects have become an interactive, larger-than-life biology lesson that harnesses kid’s natural curiosity about themselves and teaches them about how animals function.

Oozing with disgusting science and interactive learning games, the all-new “Animal Grossology” exhibit is sure to provide a unique perspective on the animal kingdom. Museum guests will experience some of the slimiest, stinkiest and downright yuckiest creatures on earth.

The exhibition contains solid science and introduces it in a way that makes kids giggle. It’s science disguised in interactive entertainment and kids are more apt to learn when they’re having fun doing it. You may think leeches are pretty gross but they’re used after some surgeries to assist in the healing process. Did you know that cows are one of the gassiest animals on earth? Learn why the dung beetle is nature’s living pooper scooper and why scientists are studying slug and snail slime production for clues in treating cystic fibrosis.

Animal Grossology is a temporary travelling exhibit created and produced by Advanced Exhibits, a division of Advanced Animations LLC, in collaboration with Sylvia Branzei, the author of the GROSSOLOGY series of books. The books are published through Price Stern Sloan, a member of Penguin (USA) Inc.

Birmingham Zoo:

Lorikeet Aviary – Our Lorikeet Aviary has more birds than ever! Zoo guests can feed these exotic birds every day. You and your family will see these birds’ behavior as they eat nectar out of your hand.
Weekends 10:00 am – 4:00 pm

PELICAN FEEDING – A great way to see our pelicans in action is to witness them eating their favorite treats near the pelican boardwalk.

RHINO ENCOUNTER – Embark on an African adventure and experience one of the world’s most extraordinary animals, the Southern White Rhino. Watch from only feet away as our zookeepers engage in hands-on interaction with the animals inside their African-themed exhibit. Don’t miss this exciting encounter with one of the largest mammals on the planet!
Weekdays: 3pm – 3:30pm
Weekends: 11:30am – Noon & 3pm – 3:30 pm

GIRAFFE FEEDING – This up close and personal animal encounter is a memory you and your family will have for a lifetime.
Weekday: 11am – Noon
Weekends: 10am – 11am  & 2pm – 3pm

Vulcan Park and Museum:

Vulcan is the world’s largest cast iron statue; made of 100,000 pounds of iron and 56 feet tall, he stands at the top of Red Mountain overlooking the city of Birmingham. But, Vulcan is more than a statue. Vulcan Park and Museum features spectacular views of Birmingham, an interactive history museum that examines Vulcan and Birmingham’s story, and a beautiful public park for visitors and locals to enjoy. With an official information center that is operated by the Greater Birmingham Convention and Visitors Bureau, Vulcan Park and Museum serves as the first stop for visitors to the Birmingham area!

Railroad Park:

Railroad Park is a 19 acre green space in downtown Birmingham that celebrates the industrial and artistic heritage of our great city. Situated along 1st Avenue South, between 14th and 18th Streets, the park is a joint effort between the City of Birmingham and the Railroad Park Foundation. Hailed as “Birmingham’s Living Room,” Railroad Park provides a historically rich venue for local recreation, family activities, concerts, and cultural events, while connecting Birmingham’s downtown area with Southside and UAB’s campus.

Southern Museum of Flight:

Earn Your Wings – Bring your little pilot and soar above the clouds in our little pilots room. Kids enjoy building aircrafts, flying kites, and more.
Museum Open Tuesday – Thursday
9:30am – 4:30pm

Do you have or know of an event you would like to have added to our weekly calendar? Please email us at contact@birminghammommy.com, subject line “Events Calendar” – We would love to hear from you!

** All information listed on our calendar is subject to change without notice to us or you… We do our best to keep the information accurate and will always update as soon as we learn that something has changed. It’s always best to double check with the event via their website or a quick call,  especially when weather can impact the event.

Pinspired Recipe: Salt and Pepper Zucchini Chips

Posted on by Angie

We love chips, and any chance we find to make a healthy alternative, we take it! Try this recipe we found on Pinterst from Frugal Freebies and Deals, it’s for Salt and Pepper Zucchini Chips, using a dehydrator or your oven.

What you need:
  • 1 lb (about 4 cups) thin sliced Zucchini*
  • ¼ tsp salt
  • ¼ tsp pepper
  • ½ tsp olive oil (this can be omitted)
  • 1 tsp apple cider vinegar

What you’ll do:

  1. Note: I cut my zucchini on a mandoline slicer. I did both the thin and thick slices. The thin turned out much better and crispier.
  2. In a medium bowl whisk salt, pepper, olive oil (if used), and vinegar
  3. Add sliced zucchini
  4. Toss with the “dressing” to coat.
  5. Arrange slices on dehydrator trays
  6. Dehydrate at 135 degrees for 5-6 hours or until crispy

For an oven version of this recipe – Follow this link.

For more of our favorite Pinterest Finds, follow our boards!

Photo: Frugal Freebies and Deals

Lessons from Tragedy: Boston Marathon

Posted on by Angie

By Kristen Berthiaume, Phd:

The picture from yesterday’s explosions during the Boston Marathon seems pretty bleak. The dreams of prime, dedicated athletes thwarted – in some cases just a few feet from the finish line. Many didn’t complete the course and may never get another chance. Lives were ended, destroyed, or forever changed. Our sense of security further was eroded (as if we haven’t had enough of that already in the past year). If your kids have been watching the news coverage, they may be feeling pretty angry and confused. How could this happen? Who’s responsible? Why would someone do this? These are questions we adults have no answers for now and, even when we have them, they may not make sense. So, what can we give our kids in absence of a logical explanation?

First, you can give comfort and reassurance. This was an isolated incident. There is no plot to set off bombs at school field days or Saturday soccer games. Your child is safe. You will do everything in your power to keep her that way. If you need more ideas for talking to your child about what happened, try this related article: Helping Your Child Deal with a Tragedy.

Once you’ve dealt with the initial fears the bombing caused, think about going further to help your child (and yourself) process all of this. You may have seen this picture circulating on Facebook but I wanted to share it in case you haven’t.

This is just one of the dozens of lessons Mr. Rogers left us with in his 30+ years of teaching and entertaining children: Resiliency. If you’re going to let your kids watch video from the marathon, consider showing examples of helpers and pointing out the bravery evident in people running toward the blasts to assist. Many of these helpers were not “heroes” in the traditional sense. They weren’t police officers, firefighters, nurses, or doctors (although these people have certainly played a vital part). Many were ordinary folks – curious spectators, random passersby, other runners, moms, dads, bankers, teachers, maintenance workers. They didn’t respond to the explosions because it was their job or because they had some superpower that gave them the courage and strength to do so. They helped because they saw suffering and wanted to make it better. Explain to your kids that you don’t have to be in a certain position, to have a particular job, or to be an expert in something in order to help when something terrible happens. You just have to keep in mind that we are all humans and that it is our job to take care of each other. You may have to let down your guard a bit and do things you’re not totally comfortable with but if you can get past your own anxiety, you might be able to make a positive impact. If you want some specific examples of helpers to share with your kids, check out this link from Business Insider.  There are, no doubt, countless more stories like these.

Focusing on the helpers reminds us all that, although there is certainly evil in the world, there is also much good. Seeing people put their lives at risk to help others flies in the face of the “every man for himself” world view we develop if we focus on the worst part of humanity. Learning that people are opening their homes and restaurants to total strangers, and giving sacrificially of their time and money, even of their own blood, to help others they may never see again – this is a very powerful lesson for our children. Life is not better when we get whatever we can before someone else does. Our goal should not be to wish bad things on others so that we might avoid having them happen to us. Instead, we become stronger and more fulfilled when we learn to work with and care for each other in order to get through and make sense out of very dark situations.

You will help your child develop resiliency by talking about events like what happened at the marathon and focusing on those who put themselves in danger to make a difference. Highlight the helpers. Think with your child about scary times in his life – being trapped in an elevator, the first day of school, a car accident – where someone helped and on any good things that may have come out of the experience. “Remember when the usher at the movies brought you to find us in the crowded lobby? She was a helper. Because of that scary thing happening, we always remember to designate a meeting spot in case we get separated in a busy place.” Explain that there is no way to prevent every bad thing from happening in your child’s life but that he will get through most challenges just fine. Even better, there will often be opportunities to grow from those experiences. The truth is, he may not develop important life coping skills unless he first faces a few obstacles. For example, remind him that if his 2nd grade best friend hadn’t started rejecting him every day on the playground, he might never have started playing with his kinder, more inclusive best friend of four years.

When bad things happen to good people (or, even to “good enough” people), giving up is always an option. There will be people injured or traumatized by yesterday’s events who stop running, stop dreaming, and stop trusting. This is a perfectly understandable reaction. Maybe even the most logical. After all, they did nothing to deserve what they went through and there was no way they could have prevented it. Having no control can leave us feeling helpless and like there’s no point in trying. But, I’m willing to bet that many, if not most, of the runners will one day complete another marathon. Some will do so after months of physical therapy, some through the help of prosthetics. Some will run slower than they did yesterday and many will feel a sense of terror as they near the finish line. The point is – what happened yesterday will not stop these people from continuing to achieve, no matter what new obstacles they face. This is the very definition of resiliency and something our children will benefit immeasurably from understanding.

The strongest people aren’t those who’ve never had bad things happen to them (is this even possible, anyway?). The strongest people are those who have suffered something – tragedies, challenges, life-changing events – and come through it having found some new goal or purpose. This isn’t the same as saying that “everything happens for a reason” because, honestly, that’s an overly simplistic way of explaining what occurred at the marathon and may even seem like victim-blaming to some. Rather, we become resilient when we are tested and we use the experience to get better – physically, emotionally, mentally. Look for the successes in the wake of this tragedy – some may come as early as today and others not for several years. Talk about these stories with your children, highlighting the challenges the individuals have overcome and how they have gotten stronger as a result. Be listening for what your family can do to help those affected by this and similar tragedies. Consider giving money to the Red Cross to help with medical expenses. Send letters, cards, and pictures to Boston area hospitals to lift the spirits of those injured. Donate blood and let your child watch (if he can handle that). Say prayers, send thoughts, provide support. Expand your child’s definition of the word “neighbor” to include those in Boston 1,200 miles away – Mr. Rogers certainly did.

If you choose to talk with your kids about the terrible events at the Boston Marathon, focus not on those who did the hurting. How can such sickness really be explained?  Focus, instead, on those doing the helping.

Birmingham Events Calendar: April 15th – April 21st

Posted on by Angie

We love Spring Time in Birmingham, so much to do it’s hard to fit it all in! This week and upcoming weekend is no exception!

Saturday Markets are back on at Pepper Place, we highly recommend making this a Saturday Morning tradition.

Earth Day is coming and you can celebrate at Railroad Park, or Ruffner Mountain Nature Center with special events happening at each park.

Lots of stortimes and if you’re into gumbo, check out the Gumbo Gala happening at Sloss Furnace.

Have a great week!!

It’s Not Our Fault if Your Kids are Bored!

Monday April 15th:

Toddler Tales – North Shelby Library
A story program for children and a caregiver. Stories, songs, finger plays and crafts make up a lively program designed especially for short attention spans. Best suited for ages 19 months to 3 years. Must Register
9:30am and 10:30am

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Tuesday April 16th:

Hippo Adventures – Birmingham Museum of Art
Meet at the Information Desk outside Bart’s ArtVenture! Join us for a new in-gallery family experience! Children aged 3 – 8 and their adult companions are invited to join Museum educators to explore Hip, Hippo, Hooray!, discover activities that make looking at art fun and exciting, and create new family memories about art and hippos.

No reservations required. Hippo Adventures are also available by appointment for groups of 10 or more children aged 3 – 8. For more information or to schedule a tour, call 205.254.2964.
10:30am

Storytime – Homewood Public Library
Join us for the best part of your week with stories that make you laugh and songs that make you dance! Join us for the fun of it! All ages welcome. For large groups, a call to 332-6619 is nice.
10:30am

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Wednesday April 17th:

Storytime – Barnes and Noble Summit
April is National Poetry Month! Join us as we celebrate Dr. Seuss style by reading the classic Dr. Seuss book Green Eggs and Ham and other favorites. Come to our store and leave knowing more!
11am

Family Story Time with Mr Mac – North Shelby Library
Storyteller Extraordinaire – Come join Mr Mac and his musical storytime complete with puppets! All Ages, no registration required.
10:45am

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Thursday April 18th:

Family Night – Build a Salad Garden – Homewood Public Library
Sallie Lee, Urban Regional Extension Agent, will lead the whole family in constructing pallet gardens. We will sink our teeth into learning what veggies are the most delicious in the garden and which plants grow best in our region.
Registration is required as space is limited.
For more information or to register please call at 205-332-6619.
All ages welcome.
6pm

SNAP Crafts – Emmet O’Neal Library
We provide the materials, you provide the genius. Grades 3-6. No registration required.
3:30pm
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Friday April 19th:

Holy Inappropriateness! We couldn’t find any special events happening in the ‘Ham today. Make sure to check our list below for fun exhibits happening daily at our local attractions.

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Saturday April 20th:

Gumbo Gala – Sloss Furnaces
40 professional and amateur cook teams will cook and serve gumbo and compete for team awards, including “Birmingham’s Best Gumbo” and the Alabama Seafood Marketing Commission’s award for best seafood gumbo. Event guests can enjoy samples of gumbo from the teams, live music, family entertainment and vendors selling Alabama and gumbo-related products. Proceeds from the event benefit the 148 seniors and young disabled adults who live on low incomes at Episcopal Place. The affordable housing community provides supportive services, such as van transportation, resident activities, subsidized noon meals and housekeeping, and other services that residents need to age in place and remain independent for as long as possible.
$10 per person in advance
$15 per person at the gate
Children 12 and under FREE
11am – 2pm

Paint the Town Red –
Once again, for one night in April… downtown Birmingham will be transformed into stunning digitally created art: graphic art, digital photography and digital animated shorts… all projected. Celebrating its fifth year, Paint the Town Red is an innovative fundraiser for the Birmingham Chapter of the American Red Cross. It combines stunning visuals, eclectic live music, street entertainment, great food and drink and local vendors. This event is catered to all ages, so get ready to indulge your eyes in a visual feast. You can read about the musical performers on the Paint the Town Red website.
Preasle tickets: $15
At the Gate: $20
7pm – Midnight

Birmingham Barons – Regions Park
Barons take on Hunstville
6:30pm

Cartoons and Cereal – Homewood Public Library
Join us for a morning of watching our favorite cartoons and munching on some delicious cereal (dry cereal only, no milk will be served).

Dixie Reptile Show – BJCC
Dixie Reptile Show was started in 1996 by Terry Heuring to fill the void in the mid-south reptile market. Terry’s life long passion for reptiles lead to a first in the herpoculture world. It is a little known act that he was the first to produce an albino Lampropeltis ruthveni and has since gone on to breeding many other successful projects. Come visit the show. You never know what you might see.
No venomous or endangered reptiles…
Adults – $4
Children under 12 – $1
9am – 3pm

Tannehill Trade Days – Tannehill State Park
shoppers and swappers come from far and near to Tannehill Trade Days in search of tools, clothing, jewelry, knives, furniture and other treasures.

Park admission
$3.00 Adults (12 years and older)
$2.00 Seniors (Ages 62 and older)
$1.00 Children (Ages 6-11) ages 5 and under free
8am – 4pm

Bart’s Books – Birmingham Museum of Art
Bart’s Books is a storytelling program for children ages 4-7. Bart selects a new book and related work of art each month that he thinks kids will enjoy. This month, Bart has selected Eric Carle’s The Mixed-Up Chameleon.
11am

Bart’s Art Cart – Birmingham Museum of Art
This drop-in art program for kids and families features a different theme from our galleries and art activity each month. Stop by to make art with Bart!

April Abstractions // African Patterns! Try your hand at creating textures and patterns found in the new African Ceramics gallery.
11am

Family Storytime – Emmet O’Neal Library
Bring the entire family and join Mr. Mac for stories and music each Saturday morning.
10:30 a.m.

Storytime – Barnes and Noble Summit
Join us for Storytime as we read If You Hold a Seed. We will find out what happens when a boy plants a seed and watches it grow. We will make a craft and have something delicious from the Cafe.
11am

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Sunday April 21st:

Picnic for the Earth – Railroad Park
Get outside and celebrate Earth Day with good food and great company! The Nature Conservancy will host its second annual Picnic for Earth: All Hands on Earth Picnic benefiting The Nature Conservancy at Railroad Park.

The event includes a variety of environmental-themed activities; live music from the Magic City Choral Society, Red Mountain White Trash and Phil & Walon; a fun-filled kids’ area complete with giant Earth balls and animal encounters from The Birmingham Zoo; outdoor works of art on display for sale; and lots of picnicking. This free event is a part of the Conservancy’s worldwide effort to unite millions for a healthy planet!

Pack a picnic or purchase food onsite from Jim ‘N Nick’s Bar-B-Q. They will sell picnic lunches during the Picnic with a portion of the proceeds benefiting The Nature Conservancy’s conservation work in Alabama.
Noon – 3pm

Lorax Earth Day Fun – Ruffner Mountain Nature Center
Join us for this family fun Earth Day celebration! Dr. Seuss wrote about environmental concerns in his book “The Lorax,” published in 1971, with a conservation message that still rings true today. We will kick off the celebration with a reading of “The Lorax” at 1:30 pm. Activities will include: recycled and nature inspired crafts, a guided 1/2 mile hike at 2:30 pm, meeting and learning about native Alabama animals at 3:30 pm, and learning some of the ways we can help out our planet.

Birmingham Barons – Regions Park
Barons take on Hunstville
3:00pm

Tannehill Trade Days – Tannehill State Park
shoppers and swappers come from far and near to Tannehill Trade Days in search of tools, clothing, jewelry, knives, furniture and other treasures.

Park admission
$3.00 Adults (12 years and older)
$2.00 Seniors (Ages 62 and older)
$1.00 Children (Ages 6-11) ages 5 and under free
8am – 4pm

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Local Attractions Open Daily!

McWane Science Center:

IMAX
McWane Science Center’s IMAX® Dome Theater puts you in the center of the action by projecting breathtaking quality images onto the 5-story-tall dome screen and delivering intense surround sound through almost 3 tons of speakers and subwoofers.
Now Showing: The Last Reef, Santa and the Snowman, Rocky Mountain Express

The Tornadoes of April 27th – Looking Back — Moving Forward, a new exhibit at McWane Science Center, reflects on the experiences of the April 27th, 2011 storms. The exhibit shares personal stories from those who experienced the devastation of the storms firsthand, while emphasizing the importance of tornado preparedness and explaining the science behind tornadoes.

Photos and stories from The Birmingham News help tell the story of the storms and the affect they had on survivors, volunteers, and the community as a whole. Students from Daniel Payne Middle School also help tell the story of their school and community through photos and artifacts from the storm for the exhibit. UAB students worked with the children from Daniel Payne Middle School to create short documentaries that can be seen in the exhibit as well.

In addition to sharing the personal stories from that day, the goal of this exhibit is to inform the community about how to prepare for extreme weather conditions, explaining the science of tornadoes and stressing awareness.

With vivid displays, the exhibit allows visitors the opportunity to learn about the scientific side of tornadoes. Graphics within the exhibit illustrate tornado formation and anatomy, educating visitors on how such extreme weather conditions develop. Additionally, the exhibit displays statistics and disputes common myths concerning the destructive storms.

Guests can watch live video from the storms that rolled across our state on April 27th, 2011, including the
weather forecasts from that day and actual images of the tornado as it made its way through our area provided by FOX6 WBRC. The exhibit is located in the City Gallery on Level 2 of the museum this summer.

Be Ready Alabama Exhibit Presented by:
The Governor’s Office of Faith-Based and Community Initiatives
www.readyalabama.org

Animal Grossology
Experience a new exhibit that is oozing with science as you meet some of the slimiest and yuckiest creatures on Earth! You’ll never look at the animal kingdom the same way after you see “ANIMAL GROSSOLOGY!”

The Animal Grossology exhibition, based on a popular series of books by science teacher Sylvia Branzei, is an educational experience grounded in the theory that the best way to get kids interested in science is to present it in terms they find most appealing. Let’s face it, topics such as slime, vomit, dookies and other gross stuff are completely fascinating for your average six to 14-year-old.

By physically stepping into the Animal Grossology exhibition, these subjects have become an interactive, larger-than-life biology lesson that harnesses kid’s natural curiosity about themselves and teaches them about how animals function.

Oozing with disgusting science and interactive learning games, the all-new “Animal Grossology” exhibit is sure to provide a unique perspective on the animal kingdom. Museum guests will experience some of the slimiest, stinkiest and downright yuckiest creatures on earth.

The exhibition contains solid science and introduces it in a way that makes kids giggle. It’s science disguised in interactive entertainment and kids are more apt to learn when they’re having fun doing it. You may think leeches are pretty gross but they’re used after some surgeries to assist in the healing process. Did you know that cows are one of the gassiest animals on earth? Learn why the dung beetle is nature’s living pooper scooper and why scientists are studying slug and snail slime production for clues in treating cystic fibrosis.

Animal Grossology is a temporary travelling exhibit created and produced by Advanced Exhibits, a division of Advanced Animations LLC, in collaboration with Sylvia Branzei, the author of the GROSSOLOGY series of books. The books are published through Price Stern Sloan, a member of Penguin (USA) Inc.

Birmingham Zoo:

Lorikeet Aviary – Our Lorikeet Aviary has more birds than ever! Zoo guests can feed these exotic birds every day. You and your family will see these birds’ behavior as they eat nectar out of your hand.
Weekends 10:00 am – 4:00 pm

PELICAN FEEDING – A great way to see our pelicans in action is to witness them eating their favorite treats near the pelican boardwalk.

RHINO ENCOUNTER – Embark on an African adventure and experience one of the world’s most extraordinary animals, the Southern White Rhino. Watch from only feet away as our zookeepers engage in hands-on interaction with the animals inside their African-themed exhibit. Don’t miss this exciting encounter with one of the largest mammals on the planet!
Weekdays: 3pm – 3:30pm
Weekends: 11:30am – Noon & 3pm – 3:30 pm

GIRAFFE FEEDING – This up close and personal animal encounter is a memory you and your family will have for a lifetime.
Weekday: 11am – Noon
Weekends: 10am – 11am  & 2pm – 3pm

Vulcan Park and Museum:

Vulcan is the world’s largest cast iron statue; made of 100,000 pounds of iron and 56 feet tall, he stands at the top of Red Mountain overlooking the city of Birmingham. But, Vulcan is more than a statue. Vulcan Park and Museum features spectacular views of Birmingham, an interactive history museum that examines Vulcan and Birmingham’s story, and a beautiful public park for visitors and locals to enjoy. With an official information center that is operated by the Greater Birmingham Convention and Visitors Bureau, Vulcan Park and Museum serves as the first stop for visitors to the Birmingham area!

Railroad Park:

Railroad Park is a 19 acre green space in downtown Birmingham that celebrates the industrial and artistic heritage of our great city. Situated along 1st Avenue South, between 14th and 18th Streets, the park is a joint effort between the City of Birmingham and the Railroad Park Foundation. Hailed as “Birmingham’s Living Room,” Railroad Park provides a historically rich venue for local recreation, family activities, concerts, and cultural events, while connecting Birmingham’s downtown area with Southside and UAB’s campus.

Southern Museum of Flight:

Earn Your Wings – Bring your little pilot and soar above the clouds in our little pilots room. Kids enjoy building aircrafts, flying kites, and more.
Museum Open Tuesday – Thursday
9:30am – 4:30pm

Do you have or know of an event you would like to have added to our weekly calendar? Please email us at contact@birminghammommy.com, subject line “Events Calendar” – We would love to hear from you!

** All information listed on our calendar is subject to change without notice to us or you… We do our best to keep the information accurate and will always update as soon as we learn that something has changed. It’s always best to double check with the event via their website or a quick call,  especially when weather can impact the event.

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