I have 3 kids. Those 3 kids alone with all of their running around take up a lot of space in my house. Now add in their necessities like, clothing, shoes, back packs, school papers and projects and I’m at capacity. THEN add in holidays, like Christmas and Birthdays where loving grandparents smother them with every little thing they ask for while batting their cute little eye lashes. And when Santa brings all the things from the catalogs and wish lists, my house is busting at the seams, just begging for an additional room to be added.

This year, I’m hoping to change that. Not actually just say it, but really stick to it. Focusing more on experiences and memberships that will in the long run, bring them way more fun than a robot dog they’ll leave out for the real dog to eat before New Year’s.

Here are my ideas for any of you that resemble the above description.

Memberships and Experiences.

Our city has a lot to offer when it comes to family fun and a Membership to an area attraction is a gift that keeps on giving.

McWane Science Center –  This is a GREAT option for grand-parents buying for multiple grand-children. They can even choose to add a Grand Parent on to the Membership for bonus together-ness. McWane is great because whether it’s hot or cold, rainy, sunny, or snowing, you can use this gift. As many days in the year as you want. PLUS you get discounts on the fun events they offer through out the year and member exclusives. Did I mention parking in the deck is FREE for members? Well, it is. That’s an additional $5 saved each trip.

The Birmingham Zoo – Much like the McWane center, this is a great idea to pass off to the grandparents for a family gift for a gift for all of your kids combined. They also offer member exclusives (like free admission to Zoolight Safari)  and have just added a “Plus” Membership option that allows you Unlimited Rides for the year.

The Circus – Ringling Bros. always rolls through Birmingham in January, making it the perfect experience for your little clowns to enjoy. That show will hit the Magic City 1/19/17 – 1/22/17. This year the show is taking on a whole new vibe and we were lucky enough to preview this last week in Chicago. You’re not going to want to miss this new show that features all of the same things you loved, but with the twist of a story about good and evil and clowns and acrobats on ice. If you purchase tickets now you can save 25% when purchasing 4 or more tickets. No code required.

Are your kiddos into sports, music, or acting? Most every kid I know is involved in some type of extracurricular activity. Think about extending their season or letting them try something new.

Acting Out Academy is great for your budding performer. Whether it’s to foster a love for the art or to build up their self confidence, their classes (or summer movie camps) would be a fun way to introduce them to acting.

Adventure Course at Red Mountain Park. If your kiddo is old enough, give them the gift of Adventure with a Zip Line Tour or an adventure through Beanstalk Forest. A treetop course with 20 unique ropes course obstacles. Six lanes of rappelling and traditional rock climbing.

Mason Music Great for lessons or looking ahead to camps

Gift Cards

Yes, technically gifts cards can lead to the tiny humans going on a shopping spree picking out all the things on their own, but it doesn’t have to be that way.

Think Movies, itunes for app purchases or give them a Mommy/Daughter Date for Mani and Pedis. A gift card to their favorite restaurant and a movie is a fun night out and again, bonus points for family togetherness.

Ice Cream shops, yogurt places, for the older crew, coffee shops.  Gifts cards also make great stocking stuffers.

When all else fails.. Try going the Want, Need, Wear, Read route. It keeps the Holidays simple, and doesn’t break your budget.

What ideas do you have for keeping down on all the “stuff” that accumulates during gift giving holidays?

Dear American Parents,

You’ve got to talk to your kids about this election. I don’t mean about who won and who lost, the electoral college, or hand size. I don’t care who you voted for or didn’t vote for or, really, whether you voted or not. But all around the country, reports are coming in of students being harassed at school since the election. Latino students told to “go back to Mexico,” shouts of “White power!”, and female students being groped in hallways. Some of these reports are unsubstantiated but many are pretty well documented. And, unfortunately, they’re reflective of what’s happening in the adult world so we’re not setting the best example. You can dismiss some of this as “kids being kids” and feeling excited that their “team” won; however, a good many of the accounts constitute harassment, bullying, or outright violence and should be deeply disturbing to every one of us, no matter how we voted. These kinds of behaviors weren’t acceptable on November 8th and they aren’t acceptable on November 9 th either. Neither will they be O.K. after the official transfer of power from Barak Obama to Donald Trump. You don’t need a clinical psychologist to tell you: we ALL know this conduct isn’t acceptable under any circumstance.

Do I think these kids are evil? Of course not. I think they’re kids. Do I think they are terribly misguided about what this recent election means and doesn’t mean? Without a doubt. Surely, they’ve seen snippets of candidate speeches and debates. They’ve heard family members, teachers, and strangers discussing policies and worries, threats and promises. As with every election, there has been a ton of information shared – some of it true, some of it false, and some of it “truthy.” Here’s what it boils down to: the new administration will likely make changes. Some people will love those changes and some people will hate them. However, we have a system of checks and balances in this country that prevents any one person from having total power to change laws in whatever way he or she sees fit. This system helps to preserve our democracy and prevent a dictatorship. If you need it, here’s a quick primer on the system of checks and balances for adults.

Because of this checks and balances system, campaign promises are just that – promises. Until ideas have been run by literally everyone and his grandma, no new laws are made. Usually, once every body weighs in on a given bill, it’s nowhere near as clear cut as the original promise was. I’d strongly encourage you to present (or re-present if they’ve already learned it in civics) this system to your kids to help them understand what it actually takes to make a law so they can adjust worries or expectations about the next administration accordingly. Here are a few kid-friendly explanations:

http://www.congressforkids.net/Constitution_checksandbalances.htm

https://bensguide.gpo.gov/j-check- balance

http://www.factmonster.com/ipka/A0777009.html

Given how much negotiation is required for the government machine to work, we can’t predict what changes the Trump Administration will successfully make. Here’s one thing I’m positive of: harassment and abusive behavior will never be acceptable. Regardless of which candidate we supported, most of us know this in our hearts. Unfortunately, it’s clear from many stories I’ve heard that some of our kids are a little unclear on this fact. It’s our job as parents to educate them about the worth that each and every one of their fellow students has, regardless of any demographic characteristic they can list. Whether we agree with others or not, we don’t get to intimidate or injure them.

Please sit down with your child tonight and have a talk. Remind him that you love him. Also, remind him that someone loves every one of his classmates and all of the people he encounters on a daily basis. Ask your child what she thinks about the violence and harassment going on in schools and in our community, supposedly in the name of politics. If there’s any indication she thinks it’s O.K., ask her why. Try to determine what she thinks changed on Election Day that would suddenly make these kinds of behaviors acceptable. Describe your expectations for her: to treat others kindly (or, if she can’t, to be indifferent to them); to walk away when a discussion gets too heated; and, if possible, to stand up for someone who is being bullied, whether she likes and agrees with that person or not. Explain that we have rules and laws in place to protect our people – not to make others do what we want them to do. School rules that state we can’t harass classmates aren’t going to change, regardless of whose president.

Laws that punish people for being violent or intimidating are generally going to stay the same. Teach your kids that we can disagree with someone’s beliefs or opinions – even vehemently – but still treat that person with respect. We can even be respectful towards people when we find fault with their lifestyle or behavior. In fact, we don’t have to like one single thing about another person in order to treat him or her respectfully. Treating someone with respect can just mean that we don’t infringe on his or her rights – it’s actually really simple. If we choose, we can totally steer clear of people we don’t get along with. We just can’t yell in their faces.

Maybe you think people are being “too whiny” about this election. You’re entitled to that opinion. But, it’s important that parents recognize how very intensely felt emotions are on both sides. If we adults are having some trouble using our best judgment when we disagree, surely the kids are, too. Remember that, just as you must do at your jobs and in your communities, our children have to be able to get along with a variety of peers, teachers, administrators, and other adults in order to be successful in their daily lives. You don’t have to condone anyone else’s behavior in order to maintain expectations for your child that he treat that person respectfully, regardless of who occupies the Oval Office.

About Kristen:

Kristen Berthiaume, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist with Grayson and Associates. She obtained her doctorate in clinical psychology from the University of Kentucky. She completed a predoctoral internship in clinical psychology at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and a post- doctoral fellowship in the Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorders (ADHD) Program at Duke University Medical Center. She specializes in providing assessment and treatment of children, adolescents, and families dealing with the following issues: ADHD, learning disorders, social skill deficits, organizational problems, behavioral difficulties, anxiety, and depression. She generally focuses on behavioral and cognitive- behavioral techniques, but maintains a flexible approach to therapy. Her other day job is as mom to her daughters, ages seven and one, and four-year-old son.

I can’t think of anything scarier than hosting Thanksgiving. We have Moms and Mother-in-Laws for a reason, right?? I think people view hosting a Thanksgiving dinner as a right of passage- and you’re a real fine woman if you have successfully put one together. I guess I can’t call myself a woman- until this year. My mom moved to Texas and my in-laws are going to travel for Thanksgiving so I guess I am on my own. In my state of freaking out I’ve been looking up favorite Thanksgiving foods and how to make them. I feel like its kind of a sin to do anything BUT make everything from scratch on Thanksgiving- and after my research I see that I have my work cut out for me.

I decided to start planning my meal now- to help me not feel so overwhelmed when the day comes! Here are some ideas I found for main dishes, sides, sauces, etc for the big day- I am going to choose 1 meat, 3 sides, 2 sauces, and 1 bread so I am not too overwhelmed. Feel free to pick and choose as many or as few as you feel comfortable enough to take on!!

• Meats: Turkey. Duh. My family always had turkey and ham. Maybe we are just weird, but it was nice for the people who didn’t like turkey so much. It also gives meat lovers (like me) another meat to eat. I am only going to make turkey, since my family will be so small this year. But with a big party its fun to have the variety.
• Sides: Green Bean Casserole, Macaroni and Cheese, Yams, Rosemary & Garlic Mashed Potatoes, Cinnamon Sugar Glazed Carrots, Corn Casserole, and Butternut Squash are some all around favorites, but the list goes on and on. You have an endless list of side options on the internet!
• Sauces: I think the two main sauces everyone needs are turkey gravy and cranberry sauce!
• Breads: regular old dinner rolls, cornbread, or you can count stuffing as your bread if you have a mean recipe for that!!

Now, the only thing scarier than the menu is the kids that will be attending your dinner. Make sure you have a kids table set up so there can be some separation, but not too much. Also remember that kids are really picky. My son told me that he would NOT eat a roll last Thanksgiving because it had a blade of grass on it…..the rolls were beautiful, delicious, and it was an herb. Not grass. Kids will NOT appreciate your culinary art, so make sure at least one of your sides is kid friendly and simple. I am doing the macaroni and cheese for the kids table and the adult table- everyone loves mac n cheese.

But don’t worry too much about your menu or your actual dinner. The most important part of Thanksgiving is gathering with the people we love most and reminding ourselves about the people and things in our lives that really matter. Make the dinner with your older kids, and turn the pre, during, and post Thanksgiving experience a family event. Even younger kids can help you put baby carrots in a pot!!