Over your parenting career, you will hear the phrase “that’s not fair!!” multiple times a day. Starting the day your child talks and ending the day you stop being a parent. Which is never. Depending on your child’s age, there are different ways to teach them to understand fairness. Older kids can grasp the concept that “fair” doesn’t always mean “the same” while younger kids probably won’t completely grasp the idea of fairness until they are older. But the younger you start teaching them about other people’s needs- the easier adjusting to the needs and wants of others will be.

Dr. Robyn Silverman has four tips for teaching kids about fairness. Dr. Silverman is a  child/teen development specialist, body image expert, sought-after speaker and award-winning writer, and graduated with her PhD from Tufts University’s prestigious applied child/teen development program. She is known for her no-nonsense yet positive approach to helping young people and their families thrive.

1. Fairness is based on need Going off of the point I made before, everyone’s needs aren’t the same. Talk to you child about someone you know who may have different needs that your child. Experiencing fairness in a situation with someone who has more or less needs than your child may not result in equal treatment.
2.  Fairness is based on desire Everyone has different desires and enjoys different things. Tell you child to imagine they like reading. But their little brother or sister does not like reading. Should you make sure they get the same amount of time reading per day? Fairness is partly based on desires of everyone involved, not just one.
3. Fairness is based on merit Different people put in different amounts of effort. Some people work hard, and other people hardly work at all. Since everyone’s level of effort is different, fairness doesn’t always mean the same.
4. Fairness is based on appropriateness Depending on age, experience, and ability, what is fair may change. If your child knows how to ride a bike, and their littler sibling does not, should they both be given a bike for their birthday? That would not always be appropriate.

While these tips aren’t guaranteed to make your kids stop saying that accursed phrase, they will help you child begin to understand that they are unique and they won’t always have the exact same thing as everyone else at the same time they have it. Keep in mind some children are ready for some activities, toys, and experiences quicker than other children their age. You know your child best, so use your best judgement when it comes to trying to be like the big kids.

*tips from: Dr. Robyn Silverman

Dr. Silverman is a repeat featured expert on The Today Show, Good Morning America, CBS Early Show, Nightline, The Tyra Show, NBC’s LXtv, Fox News, NPR, and more.  She has also been quoted in the Washington Post, LA Times, Time Magazine, Today’s Moms, The Daily News, Parenting Magazine, Parents Magazine, Prevention Magazine, Marie Claire, InTouch Weekly, Women First, SELF,  on hundreds of popular websites like Aol.com and U.S. News and World Report and on award-winning blogs such as Junkfood Science and BlogHer.  She provides expert tips to parenting and children’s programming such as the award-winning “Ruby’s studio” through The Mother Company.

About Brittany:

Brittany was born and raised in Alabama. She is a Wife and Mama of two sweet babies- her son John is two years old and her daughter Annie is ten months old. She is pursuing her degree in Home and Family Studies with an emphasis on Child Development from BYU. She is looking forward to writing for Birmingham Mommy in preparation for graduation in the Fall of 2016.

Holy Acrobats on Ice, Circus Goers! The Ringling Brothers circus will be rolling into town soon and their new show is nothing but, well.. Out of this World!

Prepare to blast off on an intergalactic adventure for space-age family fun! BirminghamMommy had the pleasure of seeing this show in Chicago back before Thanksgiving and I have to say, I can’t wait to see it again… With or without my kids. It’s. That. Good.

Now, I’ll of course take my kids, as I caught enough grief from them for seeing the Chicago show without them and let’s face it.. what’s more fun than watching your kids laughing at clowns and staring in amazement at acrobats and daredevils.

This year, Ringling Brothers has taken the entertainment to a whole new level, adding ice, yes ice. Dancers, acrobats, unicyclists, motorcyclists and all the other performers will be performing, spinning, jumping and flipping.. On. Ice.

Follow along on a heroic quest of good versus evil, as the tale leads you through worlds of Sand, Water, Fire and Ice and learn how a young Ringmaster was chosen to lead, and what happened to his friend who was taken in by the evil ice queen.

Arrive early so you’re able to enjoy a short pre-show from your seats as well as the chance to meet some of the shows celebrities on the concourse prior to the show, get your face painted, take advantage of the photo ops and learn a little more about how Alexander Lacey trains his lions and tigers.. Oh My! Make sure to take a jacket if your seats are down on the floor, it’s a little chilly sitting close to the ice.

If you want to be on the Big Screen under the Big Top.. Make sure to download the Ringling Bros interactive app where you’ll find fun backgrounds for selfies, use hashtags for a chance to have your picture shown up on the screen. You’ll also find games and get notifications of the whereabouts of the performers on the concourse.

Circus Fun Facts!

• There are 16 different languages spoken throughout the cast of the show.
• The music is provided by a live band.. Have you ever noticed? Look for them at your next show.
• In Ringling Bros, Out of this World, The young Ringmaster Johnathan is played by his own 11 year old son.
• The show moves from city to city by train.
• Backstage is a buzzing mecca of performers, a day care, massage therapy and more!
• Tigers like the ones that perform with Ringling Bros can eat more than 100lbs of meat per day!
• Elephants (like the ones retired from Ringling Bros) were born with 40 cancer fighting genes! Research is currently being done to see if they hold the key to cracking cancer. How cool is that?

Ringling Brothers Out of this World will perform in Birmingham, Jan 19th – January 22nd. To purchase tickets or for more information on show times visit: Ticketmaster.com

Hell hath no fury like a kid fresh home from school. Your eight and nine year old can quickly adopt the rationale of a two and three year old. For some reason, the frustrations they have pent up throughout the day suddenly erupt when they get home. For you parents caught in the middle of the late afternoon psychotic break- don’t worry too much. The meltdowns your child is experiencing are actually  pretty common.

Tantrum Tricks

Children are all different, and will respond to different ways that you try to help. Here are some parent-tested and kid-approved tricks to help your child vent their frustrations and calm their nerves.

• Hungry, Hungry, Hungry! Feed the Hungry! Make sure your kids have enough to eat at lunchtime. Some kids are slower eaters- so if your child likes to take their sweet time and savor every bite- pack them a lunch that is easy to eat quickly and that will fill them up. Have a snack ready and waiting for them after school.

• Get Up and Move! Having to sit at a desk for 5-7 hours a day is a challenge for anyone, but especially kids. Take your kids outside to burn off some energy after they eat their snack.

• Personal Space! Parents and little siblings are excited to see their child or sibling get home from school, but sometimes their excited mood can be too much for the stressed older child. Wait a while before sicking the toddler siblings on them or asking them questions about their day.

• Connect with Them! A lot of the time as parents, we are in a rush during the after school hours. We have clothes to wash, dinner to make, and must make sure homework gets done. Take some time to connect with your child and chat with them one on one. A couple of minutes of undivided attention can work wonders and keep you in the loop about what’s happening during their school day.

• Manage the Meltdown! Sometimes despite our best efforts, a freak out is just inevitable. If your child does end up having a meltdown, take them to their room or other private place until they calm down. Most importantly, make sure you stay calm. Your children will feed off of your energy.

Parenting isn’t all gap tooth smiles and fun milestones. Remember- there are some days on this wild ride we call parenting that are harder than others. When your kids are having a more emotional day than usual stay patient with them. There is more to this type of behavior than just them being difficult.