Netflix’s recently released “13 Reasons Why” has quickly sparked a great deal of controversy for its graphic handling of sexual assault, bullying, and suicide. To be clear, these are all topics that we must discuss with our kids at some point – sticking our heads in the sand won’t protect them. Unfortunately, experts in the field of suicide prevention say that the way the series handles these issues may actually make kids less likely to seek help and guidance when facing them. Here are 13 reasons you may not want to let your kid watch:

1. You can’t narrate your life after death. This is a “duh” – I know. But having Hannah, the main character, narrate the series despite having committed suicide may serve to make suicide seem like fantasy. Most teens continue to have difficulty distinguishing truth from fiction and have trouble grasping that death is permanent. The experience of Hannah speaking from “beyond the grave” can numb teens to the reality and finality of suicide.
2. Experts say the series glamorizes, sending the opposite of its intended message. Sadly, there’s a phenomenon known as “suicide contagion,” which is a rise in the number of suicides that occurs when a suicide is sensationalized by the media. The World Health Organization recommends that journalists not provide pictures or video in cases of suicide, avoid romanticizing the death, and limit the amount of coverage provided. Unfortunately, in its 13 graphic hours “13 Reasons Why” breaks all these “rules.” There are many theories as to why suicide contagion happens but one is that graphic information about suicide desensitizes teens to the act, making suicidal behaviors more likely.
3. Although the show creators specifically state that they wanted to show teens that suicide is never a “way out,” the show presents the act as a way to solve social problems. Through suicide, Hannah escapes her miserable social situation (and makes everyone feel bad about how they acted as a bonus). It’s important that shows tackling the issue of teen suicide emphasize that things can and will get better, and that high school isn’t forever.
4. The show doesn’t actively encourage teens who are having suicidal thoughts to seek help. In fact, some of the adult characters are shown to be pretty hostile to Hannah. While it’s not realistic to assume that every adult would know what to do if a kid was having suicidal thoughts, the depiction of Hannah’s guidance counselor as being judgmental instead of supportive may lead kids in similar situations to keep things to themselves.
5. The show presents suicide as having one obvious cause and an easy fix. If Hannah hadn’t been bullied, she wouldn’t have killed herself: end of story. However, research shows that suicide typically results from multiple causes and, in 90% of cases, involves ongoing depression. The show doesn’t make clear whether Hannah is suffering from mental illness and seems to attribute her suicide solely to mistreatment by classmates.
6. The show presents suicide as an ultimate form of revenge. While the idea of getting back at classmates may be tempting to adolescents feeling isolated and rejected, it’s crucial that suicide not be presented as a way to do that. The show goes on to suggest that, because of Hannah’s suicide, her classmates will learn to be kinder to each other. A silver lining, I guess. But the notion that it takes something so drastic to achieve this result further glamorizes suicide and presents it as a reasonable choice.
7. Netflix recommends this show for ages 16 and up but the rape and suicide scenes could earn the show an R-rating if it were to be shown in theaters. In addition to the graphic violence, there are also issues with language, drug use, and sex. Check out Common Sense Media for details when making your decision.
8. The show oversimplifies some very complicated issues. If you do let your kid watch, it will be important to seek out other info for them on some of the key topics. The conversation shouldn’t start and end with “13 Reasons Why.”
9. Some critics of the show expressed concern about the How-to aspect of the suicide scene. Watching a scene where teens identify with someone who kills herself could lead to suicide seeming like a possible choice they themselves could make.
10. The suicide scene is graphic. Like, really graphic. Many kids (and adults) will be pretty disturbed by the show, which could lead to mood and anxiety issues.
11. Teens may finish the show feeling more anxious and afraid versus hopeful, especially since the disturbing suicide scene occurs in the final episode.
12. The book was better. Jay Asher’s novel Thirteen Reasons Why, on which the series is based, has the advantage of telling about, but not showing, the suicide. This aspect alone reduces the chance that the act will be glamorized. Several critics have commented that the book does a better job than the show of fostering empathy.
13. According to 2014 CDC data, suicide was the second leading cause of death for people aged 10-24. Each year, 157,000 kids in that age range receive medical care for self-inflicted injury in the U.S. Clearly, pre-teens, teens, and young adults are far from immune to suicidal thoughts so it’s particularly crucial that media aimed at this demographic handle suicide as responsibly as possible.

If you decide to let your teen watch 13 Reasons Why, use it as a conversation starter to talk about bullying, social pressures, depression, and suicide. Watch together and keep the remote handy so you can pause the show and talk about issues as they’re brought up. Check out these great discussion tips provided by Suicide Awareness Voices of Education (SAVE). Talk about what is and isn’t realistic in the show. Ask questions like, “Why do you think she said/did that?” “What could he have done differently?” and “How do you think you would handle that situation?” You’ll likely want to watch ahead of your teen so you can prepare him for the particularly graphic or upsetting scenes. Explain that it’s our job to help your child with any problem she may have – even if it’s something you won’t like hearing about. Make very clear that you are her advocate and supporter- no matter what. Work on reacting to minor issues calmly so your teen will be more likely to trust your handling of bigger problems.

If you think your adolescent might be depressed, talk to her pediatrician about a referral for therapy. Her therapist can help you decide if you should also consider medication. If she exhibits any of these signs of suicidal thinking, get her into treatment right away. If he outright threatens to kill himself, treat it as an emergency and call 9-1-1 or take him to the emergency room right away.

About Kristen:

Kristen Berthiaume, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist with Grayson and Associates. She obtained her doctorate in clinical psychology from the University of Kentucky. She completed a predoctoral internship in clinical psychology at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and a post- doctoral fellowship in the Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorders (ADHD) Program at Duke University Medical Center. She specializes in providing assessment and treatment of children, adolescents, and families dealing with the following issues: ADHD, learning disorders, social skill deficits, organizational problems, behavioral difficulties, anxiety, and depression. She generally focuses on behavioral and cognitive- behavioral techniques, but maintains a flexible approach to therapy. Her other day job is as mom to her daughters, ages ten and four, and seven-year-old son.

After you take the plunge and leave your kids home alone for the first time, you will feel much better about it if you know that they know what to do in a given scenario. Here are some things your kids should know before you leave them home alone for any amount of time-

• First Aid This is rule number ONE of leaving your kids home alone. Make sure they know basic first aid and where to find the materials they’ll need. Bandages, gauze, alcohol wipes, medicinal creams, etc are all good items to have on hand. Make sure they know about calling 911 and have the Poison Control Center’s phone number somewhere where kids can see it. Make sure you give examples of when NOT to call 911.

• Who to call for help Not all emergencies elicit a call to 911 or the Police. Make sure that you leave a list of relatives or trusted neighbors that your kids can call if they need help.

• Family Fire Safety Plan Every family should have a fire safety plan and also have that plan memorized. Make sure you have a smoke detector and a carbon monoxide alarm in your home to protect your family. Teach your kids to get out of the house if there is a fire and call the fire department when they reach the designated safe spot. Teach kids about “stop, drop, and roll”. If you live in an area with other frequent dangers like tornadoes, make sure your kids know what to do when they hear the siren.

• How to use the Alarm System I know not all families have an alarm system, but if you do, make sure the kids can use it.

• How to shut off utilities Let say that there is an overflowing toilet incident while you are done. If you don’t want to come home to a mini beach covering your hardwood floors and $300 shag rug, your kids should know how to shut off water and other utilities.

• What if the doorbell rings? Rule number TWO of letting kids say home alone is never open the door. Should your children answer THROUGH the door? I would have to say no, but as a parent you can decide for yourself. Make sure you children don’t leave the house and go with someone who says they have candy or that their parents are hurt.

• Are friends allowed over? This is also a decide-for-yourself rule. Its probably okay for 11, 12, or 13 year old kids to be over while you’re gone if you are comfortable with that and if their parents know you aren’t home.

• Technology rules? Be very clear about when children can use the TV, Ipads, or computer. Make sure the kids know what shows or games are blacklisted!

• Can they go outside? This depends on age, front yard or back yard, and the general nature of your neighborhood.

• What if the phone rings?  If the phone rings, make sure kids know never to tell anyone that they are home alone. If they ask for a parent, make sure they know to tell them you can’t come to the phone right now and to take a message. This is also a great time to have caller ID, that way they don’t have to answer the phone for any number they don’t recognize.

What rules do you have in place for your children staying at home alone?

RMTC camps teach theatrical craft while providing performance opportunities for youth. The curriculum includes vocal, dance, and drama training and culminates in a staged performance, where students perform for live audiences.

Summer Blast Students Students learn a repertoire of musical theatre songs and dances during a weeklong workshop, culminating in a performance for family and friends. This opportunity is open (non-auditioned) to interested students ages 7-12.

Other Camps Include:

Industry Intensive: Young artist will hone their skills in one particular branch of musical theatre.
July 10-14

Let’s Dance: This introduction to dance camp invites young artists looking to hone their skills in ballet, musical theatre, and jazz.
July 24-28

Think on Your Feet: Improv Acting: In this fun and fast-paced camp, young artists will learn to think on their feet and react quickly, and often humorously, amongst their peers.
July 24-28

Discovery Theatre: Once on this Island Jr: This two week performance opportunity is a great chance for young performers to get education through experience.
July 17-21, 24-28

Discovery Theatre: G2K Cinderella: This two week performance opportunity is a great chance for young performers to get education through experience.
July 3-7, 10-15

Summer Blast: Pirates Vs Cowboys the Musical! Young artists will explore the rivalry between resident pirates and cowboys in this fun-filled blast camp.
July 24-28

Tap Dance Intensive: Students will learn about rhythm and movement as they grow their skills in tap dancing.
July 24-28

Improvisation Intensive: In this fun and fast-paced camp, young artists will learn to think on their feet and trust their instincts as they hone their improv skills.
July 24-28

Back to Hogwarts: The Tri-Wizard Tournament: By cultivating original characters, students will explore what it would be like to attend Hogwarts. They’ll participate in defense against the dark arts and potions classes, in addition to being sorted into one of the four houses.
July 17-21

Playwriting and Acting: Aspiring artists have the opportunity to construct original plays, explore what it’s like to be the primary storyteller, and hone their acting skills in this innovative camp.
July 17-21

Neverland Starcatchers: By cultivating original characters, students will explore the innovative world of Neverland and Peter and the Starcatcher
July 10-14

Play Making: Imaginations will run wild as budding performers explore the wonder of creating their own short plays.
June 5-16
June 5-9 9AM-12PM Animal Kingdom
June 5-9 1PM-4PM Superheroes
June 12-16 9AM-12PM Under the Big Top
June 12-16 1PM-4PM Fairy Tales

Now through May 19th save 10% when you register for two or more camps. Discount taken at check-out. Cannot be used retroactively or combined with other offers. Limited Quantities.

For more information or to register for any of these camps, visit the Red Mountain Theatre Website.

Now through May 19th save 10% when you register for two or more camps. Discount taken at check-out. Cannot be used retroactively or combined with other offers. Limited Quantities.