By Harmony Hobbs:
I swore I would never do it.
I never wanted to be “that” mom. The one that discusses her child’s poop. No one wants to hear about it, really. And I know that. Yet despite my best efforts, I failed.
My toddler is afraid to poop. For reasons unknown to me, he is so terrified of the act that he is spending a lot of time and energy holding it in. It’s worrisome, it’s weird, and we’re working through it. I am so consumed with solving this problem that I felt the need to discuss it during lunch.
I met my girlfriends from work at our usual time. We chatted about what is new this season in footwear. We discussed whether or not wearing high-heeled, tall boots means you’re looking for a good time (I submit that it does not).
We talked about men. We talked about Snookie from Jersey Shore, our bosses, our jobs, and our plans for the weekend. It was a beautiful day, so we ate outside — which required us to wear our oversized sunglasses. This is the time of my day where I can forget about everything serious, and focus on the frivolities of life. Like skincare, and reality television.
When the conversation lulled, I had an out-of-body experience that involved me telling them about my son’s constipation. I thought I should probably shut up, but I just kept going … and before I could stop myself, I was talking about the glycerine suppository that I was going to have to administer that afternoon.
I have to give them credit –my companions didn’t flinch. They listened politely … and so I. Kept. Going. I said that we tried prunes. I said we tried fiber gummy supplements. I repeated what the pediatrician’s office and his teachers at daycare said to me about it. All in all, in one conversation I managed to completely become what I have spent years trying to avoid – THAT MOM.
You know who I’m talking about. “That” mom lures you into a conversation and holds you hostage for half an hour talking about her kid’s allergies or exploding diapers. It’s always something you definitely do not care to know about, yet “that” mom seems to believe it’s the most fascinating topic in the world. “
“That” mom also has no objectivity about her children. She truly thinks her kid is smarter, more advanced and better-looking than yours and she will find a way to say so. She is just plain obnoxious and irritating, and I thought I was doing a decent job of not being like that.
Until I was.
Hello, my name is Harmony and I discussed poop at an inappropriate time. My friends have forgiven me for it … time will tell if it was just a temporary slip up, or if I’m headed down a path of obnoxious mom behavior. Please feel free to stage an intervention if needed.
Harmony blew into Birmingham after Hurricane Katrina and is a self-proclaimed “never home maker” striving for a balance between her career and family life. Visit her blog at Working Mommy Madness