Working Mommy Madness – "Modern" Motherhood

By Harmony Hobbs

Fact: I am a 1950’s housewife trapped inside the body of a career woman.

The only reason I went to college was to find myself a husband. That’s right. I might as well have tattooed “MARRY ME” on my forehead. Looking back, I don’t know why I wasted so much time thinking about marriage when I should have been experimenting with controlled substances.

My plan was very … vintage. I was only getting a degree to fall back on in case my husband died or lost his limbs. I never planned to have a career.  I wanted a man, some children, and a double oven – in that order.

Much to my disappointment, I did not find a husband in college. I got a degree in Mass Communication instead. At the age of 22, I was convinced that I was destined to die alone as a dusty, old maid. I gave up on my double oven dream – and by the time I met my husband-to-be, I actually had some practical career goals in mind.

But then, on that hot September day in 2008, my son was born and I suddenly remembered my 1950’s fantasy. I had an overwhelming urge to walk away from my corporate job. I started to wear an apron. I learned to bake.

By this point, our life had become so complicated that living on one income just wasn’t feasible. With the birth of my son came my daily battle with guilt — balancing work and motherhood. I love working and I get a lot of satisfaction from it, but my truest love is being a mom.

Achieving that balance is a constant struggle.  I never feel like I get it right.

According to all of the parenting books I’ve read, I’m what they call a “modern” mom. But the women they describe don’t sound like me – they actually seem to have it together. I obviously do not. I can barely manage to put conditioner in my hair instead of body wash, and even though I have all of the materials, I have never scrap-booked a thing in my life.

I submit that these women are fictitious.

I make lists, I have a personal organizer and several calendars,  but I can never seem to stay on top of my various roles as wife, mother, employee who is trying to scramble up the corporate ladder,  and friend. Sadly, tasks that should be a priority, like plucking my eyebrows or having marital relations with my husband, often fall to the bottom of my list. Yet for some reason, I continue to try to do it all.

If I was an outsider looking in, I would think to myself, “OMG, that girl must be crazy!” Well … maybe I am. Our “modern” lives are crazy. It’s not just MY life, it’s everyone I know. We all keep trying to live at a breakneck speed, and it’s not normal — I don’t care what the experts say. I will always long for a simpler life.

It is 2010, I am almost 31 years old, and I have a very bright future. However, I’m what you might call a functional wreck. I have decided this is acceptable. I have not figured out how to have it all without miserably failing in one of my roles.

While I continue to work on striking a balance between the different parts of my life … I am cursing those bitches who burned their bras.

Harmony blew into Birmingham after Hurricane Katrina and is a self-proclaimed “never home maker” striving for a balance between her career and family life. To read more from her visit her blog Working Mommy Madness

5 thoughts on “Working Mommy Madness – "Modern" Motherhood

  1. I could have written this article myself. I am absolutely in the same boat! Since every other mom I know is a stay at home mom, it is so nice to hear that there are other moms like me…who live with daily guilt and struggle to juggle everything else in the meantime. Thanks for letting me know it’s not just me.

  2. It is NOT just you, C. Smith! Some days, the only thing that gets me through it is the knowledge that so many other women are going through the exact same thing. If they can do it, then so can I! I cope with prayer and coffee (and the occasional cocktail).

  3. WOW!! I love reading your stuff!! It makes me feel a little more normal and a little less depressed about this lifestyle I have created for myself. I absolutely love this!! I can’t wait to read more! 🙂

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