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Parenting with a PhD: Keeping Homework in Perspective

parentingPHDnewWe’ve probably all seen this: Fort Worth, TX, Teacher Brandy Young’s note to parents that her 2nd grade students would not be assigned regular homework, other than nightly reading, for the year. Mrs. Young wrote this letter after reviewing research indicating that elementary school aged kids don’t significantly benefit from completing nightly homework. Instead, Mrs. Young suggests that families do things that will have a lasting positive impact like play outside, read stories, have dinner together, and get to bed on time. You could almost hear the cheering from students and parents when this letter went viral. But, what does that mean for all the students not in Brandy Young’s 2nd grade class? Presumably, the majority of them will still be coming home with nightly homework and yet, that getting to bed on time thing seems pretty important. Here are some ideas for keeping elementary school homework in perspective so that it doesn’t become all-encompassing.

The general recommendation is that homework should take no longer than your child’s grade x 10 minutes. So, it’s recommended that a kindergartner have no take-home work (other than reading), a 1st grader – 10 minutes, a 2nd grader – 20 minutes, etc. This rule is endorsed by the National Education Association and the National Parent-Teacher Association. Parents of high schoolers might be surprised to learn that the recommendation extends all the way to senior year. A recent study published in The American Journal of Family Therapy found that kids generally receive three times more homework than recommended. If your child is coming home with more work than could be reasonably completed in the recommended amount of time or if it’s taking your child longer than expected to finish the work, talk with the teacher to determine what the problem might be. Is this work your child is failing to complete during class for some reason and, if so, why? Is your son taking longer than he should because he’s not grasping the concepts or getting too distracted while working? Chances are, no teacher expects your 7- year-old to spend hours on homework or to cry in frustration the whole time. If she does, some serious discussion is needed.

If the amount of homework sent home is appropriate for your child, it’s up to you to decide how your family will prioritize getting the work done. Sit down with your spouse or partner and rank what is most important for your kids. Hopefully, getting adequate sleep and having time together as a family will be higher than homework and that and joining every imaginable activity or sport will be lower. If you are careful not to overschedule your kids, there will be time to complete homework, attend activities, spend time together, and get to bed on time most days. Many families find that it’s helpful to set a cut-off time for homework each night so that kids can recover for bed. It’s recommended that kids not work on homework or use any screens for a full hour before bedtime to give their brains a chance to unwind. Of course, setting a cut-off time may mean that homework is occasionally left undone if the afternoon was particularly busy. Completing homework as soon as possible afterschool, preferably with a snack or play break beforehand, is one way to prevent this possibility. It may also be helpful to talk to the teacher about your policy that homework time has to stop by 7:00 p.m., finished or not. Explain that you will do your best to allow adequate time for the work but that it may be incomplete some days. Discuss how the teacher would like that handled. Should you send a note of explanation? Would he or she want your child to turn in the work a day late? Remember that you and your child’s teacher need to maintain a good working relationship. Even if you feel your child should have less or no homework, being overly aggressive in conversations with the teacher is likely to negatively impact that relationship and, ultimately, your child. There is also some benefit in your child seeing that sometimes he has to do things even if he (and you) don’t see the point in them – it’s good preparation for dealing with the DMV one day!

Once you’ve discussed your plan with the teacher, talk to your child about how homework time will fit into the daily schedule. You’ll probably have the most success if homework has to be completed before screen time and extracurricular activities. For some kids, having a homework cut-off time will be a hard sell – they’ll be really anxious about turning in late or incomplete work. Assuming the conversation with your kid’s teacher went well, assure your child that she won’t get into trouble and that her teacher understands she has to get enough sleep. If you’re able to keep homework in perspective, there’s a better chance your child will be able to, too. Elementary school homework isn’t going to make or break your kid’s academic career. Rather, it should offer a brief review to your child of what he learned during the school day, provide you with a summary of what the class is doing, and give the teacher a sense of how your kid is grasping concepts. These goals can often be accomplished even if only part of the work is finished. After all, most teachers would rather have happy, well-rested students than exhausted students who agonized for hours over work they didn’t understand.

Happy Homework Time!

 

About this column:
Send your parenting- and kid-related questions my way via email at: parentingwithaphd@gmail.com and I’ll tell you what I can: Please be aware that email is not a secure method of transmitting personal information so it’s best to keep your questions general. If your question is featured, your name and email will not be published. Submitting a question does not constitute a professional relationship in any way and this column is not meant to substitute for face-to-face therapy. If you feel you’re doing the best you can and still need help, it may be time to bring in a professional. Start by talking with your child’s pediatrician to get a referral.

About Kristen:

Kristen Berthiaume, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist with Grayson and Associates. She obtained her doctorate in clinical psychology from the University of Kentucky. She completed a predoctoral internship in clinical psychology at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and a post- doctoral fellowship in the Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorders (ADHD) Program at Duke University Medical Center. She specializes in providing assessment and treatment of children, adolescents, and families dealing with the following issues: ADHD, learning disorders, social skill deficits, organizational problems, behavioral difficulties, anxiety, and depression. She generally focuses on behavioral and cognitive- behavioral techniques, but maintains a flexible approach to therapy. Her other day job is as mom to her daughters, ages seven and one, and four-year-old son.

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