Mamarazzi: Beyonce Gives Birth, Diva-Style

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Blue Ivy Carter, the long-anticipated, charmed progeny of Beyonce and Jay-Z, finally arrived on Saturday via C-section. I theorize she opted for a section so there was no chance a photo of her lady business would show up on the internet. Smart girl. Always thinking ahead.

Apparently, the entire 4th floor of the hospital where she delivered was shut down even to doctors and nurses at one point. Everyone on that floor was required to turn in their cell phones. Security cameras were covered with tape. Now THAT is how a diva gives birth.

I would have hated to be delivering my baby on the Upper East Side at the same time as Beyonce. Not one nurse would give a hoot about me and my hoo-ha. I mean who would want to give birth in a situation where your medical staff had that distraction?! Your vagina (or your lower abdomen, if you are having a C-section) is on the line, not to mention your baby, and all people are thinking about is Blue Ivy Carter.

My husband would probably try to sneak away to see if he could spot Jay-Z in the hallway. Then he would post it all over Facebook. It wouldn’t be “Our son just arrived! 8 lbs 6 oz!” It would be “OMG we’re in the same hospital as Beyonce!” or, “Just saw Jay-Z!”

Just thinking about it pisses me off.

Luckily, I am all the way down here in Alabama. There’s no rap royalty here.

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