Love Like Kids, Act Like Adults

Barack and Michelle do it. Brad and Angelina do it. John and Yoko did it. How?

As the divorce rate hovers near an estimated 50 percent in the United States, many blame career stress as a major cause of separations. But somehow some couples grow stronger, especially when they work together.

Jamillah Lamb, co-author along with her husband, David, of “Perfect Combination: Seven Key Ingredients to Happily Living & Loving Together” Share some tips and live by their guiding rule, “Love like kids, act like adults.”

“That means to love freely and completely, without a fortress around your heart, and behave responsibly,” David says.
A crucial ingredient for any successful marriage is friendship, the Lambs say.

• Enjoy life: Some couples won’t go to theme parks until they have children. But letting one’s inner child out to play with their partner’s inner child strengthens a relationship’s bond.

• Forgive the small stuff: No one is always right, and no one wants to be around someone who always needs to be right.

• Appreciate individuality: Everyone needs to have their own identity, including those in a long-term relationship and couples who work together.

• Do not misdirect anger: In psychology, it’s called transference; dumping your bad day on someone else. It is poison for any relationship.

• Remember your love: Couples may fight, but guard what you say. There’s no need for ugliness even when you disagree.
Couples need to remember relationships take work, but they can also be a blast of fun, David says.

“Love is worth the sacrifice,” they agree. “Today, with stories of celebrity couples walking away after only days of marriage and even more people living as though sacrifice is nearly a curse word, we say: ‘It’s worth the sacrifice.’

Love is, in part, the acknowledgement and deep appreciation for another human being, Jamillah says. “Couples should never take each other for granted,” she advises. “In love, as in business, everyone wants to be appreciated. The simplest gesture can go a long way to help your significant other feel like they are making a significant contribution to your life, your family, or your business.”

Protecting the relationship with your spouse can be extremely difficult once you add children to your family. What guiding rules do you and your spouse live by?