Jingle

By: LK Whitney

Jingle, jingle. Ho. Ho. Ho. Merry Christmas, y’all.

I don’t know about you, but our household is six-feet-deep in a tinsel-tinged, yuletide coma: the tree glimmers and glows; the gifts, they keep piling up under the tree; our cheerful little children are giddy and bright with visions of ribbon-wrapped boxes full of goodies just for them. We read stories of Saint Nick. We make ornaments out of cotton balls and toilet paper tubes and popsicle sticks. We delight in all the merriment and blinking lights found throughout the city. We’ve been eating a few more sweets than usual. We’ve been licking and sticking the envelopes that hold our holiday greetings sent far and wide to those we so love and cherish.

And, I’m afraid, we’re stuffing our stockings with everything but the true meaning of the holiday season. The concept of getting is getting in the way of our giving.

It’s an easy thing to do, after all. And we, my husband and I, are full of fault. We are to blame.

As parents, we get so caught up in the Act of Getting all those bells and whistles and baby dolls and matchbox cars our little ones have set their hearts to desire. You know as well as I do how easy it is to slip in to the rabbit hole that is Toys R’ Us. We can’t help but want to give to our children. It’s our parental nature. It’s tradition. Considering that our parents made a fuss for us, we’ll carry the peppermint-striped baton and we’ll deck our halls with an abundance of presents. And we’ll delight in watching our rosy-cheeked babes giggle with glee as they realize they’ve been given the very thing they’ve wished so hard for. It makes US feel good.

We busy ourselves with a month-long preparation that involves activities like visiting Santa and writing letters to Santa and baking cookies for Santa. All this effort we put in to teaching our kids the art of wooing and wishing for a jolly stranger to make a miraculous midnight ride right to our rooftop seems just a tad bit futile. Especially since we, the parents, are completely aware that all this “magic” depends solely on our own deceitful plotting. What we’re really doing is building them up to want. We’re giving them Grace of Getting when what we really, truly long for in our children is altruistic behavior.

Now, I’m not getting all Scrooge on you here. And for fear that I might start to sound too preachy-preachy, I sought out the wisdom from other seasoned Santas, your peers and fellow Magic City mommies. Here’s what they had to say:

Nanci Neighbors Scarpulla’s family revisits the story of St. Nicholas of Myra each year. Then they discuss ways St. Nick helped those in his community. “Little things like visiting a nursing home and delivering candy canes or surprising the fire station with home baked goodies goes a long way in reversing the “give me” trend,” says Nanci. “Children love the positive attention and knowing they make a difference. That’s been our experience.”

<Love that, Nanci! Any excuse to lick a bowl of batter for cookies intended for someone else is a good one in my book! Fire Station #21, here we come!>

Katie Hopper says, “Our kids only get three toys each (three wise men mentioned in the Bible), and we give to a charity. We make a Happy Birthday Cake. We don’t make a big deal about it.”

<Another bowl-licking opportunity in the name of goodwill and God’s love…I’ll take it. Great thoughts, Katie!>

Mother of two, Kate Wiegand Agliata, makes Advent cards for the kids to read each day with a surprise of some sort written on it. Most of them are things like “drive around and look at holiday lights”, “decorate cookies”, “enjoy $1 to spend at the dollar store”, etc. Kate notes that, “We spend most of the month focusing on fun, meaningful family experiences, and their fun factor still gets fulfilled.”

<Those are all wonderful ideas, Kate, and I know I’ll be incorporating some of each in to our own holiday experience this year.>

Finally, for the expert’s advice, jump here for BirminghamMommy.com contributor Kristen Berthiaume’s “Parenting with a PhD” column where she specifically outlines ways in which you can yield some gracious behavior from your kids during the gift-giving season. It’s a must-read!

At the end of the day, we know we’re going to give gifts. Let’s just try to keep it all in perspective, shall we? Wouldn’t the best present of all be a stocking full of gratitude from your precious offspring? That’s what I’m wishing for this holiday season.

How about you?

About LK:

Magic City maven Laura Kate Whitney is a full-blooded Southerner who’s found herself planting roots in Sweet Home Alabama. Life circumstances have brought her to Birmingham, along with husband, two young sons, and grumpy old cat. In her “free time” she enjoys long walks, long showers, lots of yoga, Birmingham history, culinary programming, and date night. You can follow Laura Kate’s adventures on Magic City Manifesto and also on Twitter.