Being a stay at home mom is a huge adventure. That. Never. Ends.
There are a ton of good things about being a stay at home mom- like getting all the kisses you want, making sure you child follows the routine YOU want them to follow, and seeing all of your child’s “firsts.” But I myself am a stay at home mom, and I can tell you from experience that it is all too easy to get stuck in a stay at home mom rut. There are so many things we feel that we need to be and that we need to do in order for us to be confident in our woman AND mother-hood. Being thin, keeping our houses clean, having clean and well dressed children, being that crafty mom, having a hot dinner on the table every night, being on time to church and sports events and so much more. Being a SAHM is a 24 hour a day, 7 day a week job, with no guarantees of breaks or lunches. You don’t get a sick day or a vacation. It doesn’t get any easier as your kids get older. There will just be new challenges. And just thinking about it that way is overwhelming.
I plan to be a stay at home mom forever. As long as I can. I know life may have different plans for me at some point, but I knew from a very young age that I wanted to be a mother. Although I am young, I have figured a few things out about the mom gig. I get in the mom rut every so often and if I am going to be doing this for years to come- I better figure out how to get myself out of it. Here are some tips that I’ve found to help me stay motivated when I am feeling crummy:
I know its tempting to stay in your pajamas and keep your hair in a bun all day. And every now and then, its okay. But you will feel so much better and so much more confident if you get up and get ready for the day. Putting on some makeup and some jeans and a tee is all you have to do. Or even less than that- my favorite option- a flattering pair of yoga pants! It will make all the difference in the world when you walk past the mirror and you see someone who looks like a babe and has it all together. (even if you really don’t have it all together) 🙂
Put Down Your Phone
You use your phone for everything. I know I do. It’s my map, my grocery list, my stopwatch at the gym, and my cookbook. But I also look at Facebook and Instagram. A lot. More that I should, I’ll admit. And its easy to get caught up in comparing yourself to your friends or other moms. We compare ourselves to friends from high school and wonder why they are so flawless. Remember that they haven’t had a child. They could take all day to work on their hair and makeup and we are lucky if we get 20 minutes. We compare ourselves to other moms who are crafty, or who homeschool, or who have well behaved kids. It’s important to remember that one good picture doesn’t represent a whole day. If you see a picture that makes you feel like you aren’t giving your all, just remember a picture is a snapshot of an entire day. Odds are, this other mom’s day wasn’t picture perfect at all. Another important thing to remember is that we all have different children and our children have different needs. For example, I have friend who’s children need a teacher other than her. Teacher and mother need to be two separate roles for them. But I have another friend who’s children learn their best from her. Comparison really isn’t fair, because we all have many different variables.
Reevaluate What Really Matters
I have to remind myself of this all the time. I will be laying beside my son in his bed and praying that he will just fall asleep so that I can go do something I want to do. But as I lay there I think about what it is I am wanting to do go. Read? Watch TV? Is that really more important than being a comfort for my son while he drifts off to sleep? The book and the TV show aren’t going to matter a few months from now. Or a few months from now when my son tells me that he doesn’t need me to lay with him anymore. Every moment is precious- and remember that one time will be the last time we do something for our kids.
One of my favorite quotes about being a mom is by Sally Clarkson. She said, ” I always wanted to be a hero. To sacrifice my life in a big way one time- and yet God has required my sacrifice to be thousands of days, over many years, with one more kiss, one more story, one more meal.”
Motherhood is a long journey with many ups and downs. When you have a bad day, remember that everyday won’t be bad. Motivate yourself with these tips on the days when you can feel yourself slipping into the rut- and know that you have the best job there is! Many mothers would give anything to be able to stay at home with their babies.
Brittany was born and raised in Alabama. She is a Wife and Mama of two sweet babies- her son John is two years old and her daughter Annie is ten months old. She has her degree in Home and Family Studies with an emphasis on Child Development from BYU.